Why I Never Became Fluent in French (and Other Online Learning Myths)

Like many of you, I too have fallen down the bright, gamified rabbit hole of Duolingo. “Just five minutes a day,” they said, “and you’ll be fluent!” Spoiler alert: I’m still waiting for my “fluent” badge.

Duolingo is fun, don’t get me wrong. Those daily streaks, the cute little owl, and the dopamine hits from completing a level can make you feel like a linguistic genius. But here’s the reality: nobody truly learns a foreign language on Duolingo. I mean, I can just manage to order a croissant in Paris, but deep conversations about existentialism? I’ll leave that to Jean-Paul Sartre.

And it’s not just Duolingo. Let’s talk about online recorded training. You know, those pre-packaged modules where you click through slides, watch a video, and then—bam!—you get that fleeting “A-ha” moment. Except… that “A-ha” moment disappears the moment you close your browser. Retention? Let’s just say I’m better at remembering random pop culture facts than I am about that leadership model I was supposed to internalize.

Now, let’s talk about corporate induction programs. You know the ones I mean—the dreaded computer-based training (CBT) modules that corporations insist every new joiner must pass. You get excited for your new job, ready to hit the ground running, bring in new business, and—what’s this?—you’re stuck going through mandatory slides on company policies, workplace safety, and other riveting topics. And, if you’re unlucky, you might even fail the quiz at the end and be forced to retake the whole thing. Congratulations, you’re now on day three of induction, and you’ve spent more time clicking through modules than doing any real work. At this rate, your first sale won’t come until your second month on the job.

The absurdity? All that time wasted could have been spent building relationships, selling, and, you know, doing the actual job you were hired for.

Psychoanalytic Wisdom: Freud’s (Un)conscious Learning

Let’s bring in some heavyweights here. According to Sigmund Freud, much of our learning happens in the unconscious mind (Freud, 1923). However, Freud didn’t anticipate the arrival of push notifications and cute animal mascots. In today’s world, our brains are too busy chasing rewards to truly engage with deep, reflective learning. Carl Jung might argue that true learning requires more than repetition—it requires integration with the self (Jung, 1953). Unfortunately, being trapped in endless CBT modules isn’t exactly what he had in mind.

The Case for Live Training (Even Online)

If you truly want to learn and, more importantly, retain what you learn, here’s a friendly tip: invest in live (even online) training. Why? Because it mimics real-life interactions, forces you to engage with content actively, and gives you the opportunity to ask questions, discuss, and connect. Live training fosters what Freud would call “working through”—the process of deeply integrating new knowledge into your psyche (Freud, 1926). This doesn’t happen when you’re passively watching a recorded video while also checking Instagram.

In the corporate world, companies might want to rethink those endless CBT modules. Sure, compliance and induction are important, but could we please not turn our poor new joiners into zombies? Maybe get them into live training sessions where they can actually engage and learn in real-time, instead of suffering through modules they have to repeat until they finally get a passing score.

So, What Should You Do?

Here are a few friendly recommendations for meaningful learning:

1. Get involved in live sessions: Engage with a real trainer, ask questions, and participate actively. Even online, the interaction makes a huge difference.

2. Take time to reflect: After any learning experience, spend time thinking about how it applies to your work or life. That’s where the real “A-ha” happens.

3. Limit your use of gamified apps: They’re fun for practice, but they won’t get you where you want to go. Use them as a supplement, not the core of your learning journey.

4. Practice consistently, but with depth: Focus on quality over quantity. It’s better to spend 20 minutes deeply learning something than 5 minutes chasing points.

5. For companies: balance your induction programs: Consider combining recorded content with interactive sessions to save time and engage employees effectively.

Final Thoughts

We live in a world where technology promises shortcuts to knowledge, but the truth is, real learning requires effort. Don’t let the cute mascots and rewards fool you. Find opportunities to engage in real-life (or real-time) learning, and you’ll notice the difference in how much you retain—and, more importantly, apply.

Remember: we’re here to learn, not just to click.

Post Edit

On a personal note, I am licensed in Psychology and completed my Master’s in Psychoanalysis, both of which were online but interactive, allowing for real-time engagement with professors and peers. Now, I’m in the middle of a four-year formation that requires 500 hours of live, interactive sessions. As part of my training, I also undergo personal analysis, attending two live sessions a week, which is essential for me to eventually receive patients in therapy.

Take a surgeon, if psychology seems abstract. Surgeons undergo many years of live practice before they can operate independently. In fact, becoming a fully licensed surgeon can take over a decade of hands-on training, including medical school, residency, and fellowships. So, what do you choose? An online-trained surgeon who never touched a body? Or an online-trained psychotherapist who never dived into the human psyche via supervision and practice? It’s your choice, in the end.

Moreover, there’s a trivial pseudo-academic stream running on social media, where you can grab what I like to call “Instagram wisdom”—if that can ever exist. Millions of people follow accounts that offer truism and Barnum effect stories, where the advice feels personally tailored but is, in fact, vague enough to apply to anyone. It’s a shortcut. A shortcut you cannot afford, neither for your brain nor for your body. True growth and learning come from deep, structured, and supervised interaction, not from viral quotes.

References:

Freud, S. (1923). The Ego and the Id. Hogarth Press.

Freud, S. (1926). Inhibitions, Symptoms, and Anxiety. Hogarth Press.

Jung, C. G. (1953). Psychology and Alchemy. Princeton University Press.

#Learning #LeadershipDevelopment #Psychology #Psychoanalysis #Training #Duolingo #LiveLearning #Gamification #OnlineLearning #RetentionMatters #CorporateInduction #NewJoiners