Why I needed to change and signs you might need change too

I am obsessed. I’ve always been obsessed with something. And I’m in a quarter-life crisis. 

I’m dishonest at times. And I’m a horrible son, uncle and brother. And I think I can be a real dick at times. 

Thanks to all the kind strangers these past few days who wrote me back and inspired me to change. 

Here is the evidence: I don’t spend all my money on useless things. Even though I went to college I don’t believe in college, or voting. I have never had long relationship.

A lot of people like like my articles. 

Especially the fact that I have two bags of ALL of my possessions in the world and I have no steady address. I’m a jumper. 

But I write this in attempt to do three things

A) Get it out of my freakin head 

B) Hopefully someone will relate and feel less alone

C) People need to know the signs of when its time to change. 

I believe people change for two reasons: Feelings, and more feelings. Okay. It’s really a matter of pain or pleasure. They see something they want or want more of, and they go after it. Guns a Blazin’ 

And sometimes, they get to a place where they cannot stand for one more day being where they are, so they move out of the situation. The thing is. It’s all an illusion. 

At times it looks like taking action, sometimes it’s self-worth, most of the times it’s a combination of these things. 

And there are the types of people who are feeling anywhere from uncomfortable to downright shitty in their life, and maybe they don’t know why. 

No worries though. I have a list of signs that are all itches that must be scratched before it’s too late.

 A) You’re trapped in comparison mode. You tend to believe everyone has it better and easier than you do. You want a marriage like your old high school friend. 

You want to love your job like your boss does. You want an exhaustingly fun life like that one dude on Facebook. You want a Fit body like fitness model. (Note it’s all doctored and they are actually at a very unhealthy state during this shoot).

Whatever it is you’re comparing yourself too, it means you want something more in your life. That you admire something about that other person. So, why can’t you have it? If you think you can’t, I call Bullshit. I mean you can’t bullshit a bullshitter. Or at least I think that’s how the wise quote goes. Your commitment to “can’t” is simply a story you’re tied to. Divorce that story and marry a new one. Seriously it’s ALL about the story you tell yourself. The way you perceive yourself. 

Perspective is everything

B) You’re feeling resistance. Resentful. Frustrated. Pissed off. 

Resentments are a beach of an itch. It’s a sign that a few different things might be happening in your life. There’s a failure to open up. 

Solution: You have the power to show up and say your truth. Hey I did it at the top. It sucks. It’s not always fun. But it’s a prerequisite to getting somewhere better then you’ve been before. 

C) You’re numbing out. We all want to feel relief fast. Sometimes that relief comes in spending money, drinking alcohol, or losing ourselves playing games.

But, what are you avoiding when you’re numbing out on a regular basis? Is it your marriage? Your fears? Your insecurities?

 For me, I used to numb out when I was overwhelmed. Perfectionism and control ruled me and since neither were ever something I could attain, I felt worse about myself. So, I stole, shopped and stole, and dieted in an attempt to gain perfection and honestly to short cut my way to success. But this is NOT how you gain success. 

So then I felt worse and the cycle started all over again. I was avoiding my authentic self (surrender, acceptance, and vulnerability scared the holy s**t out of me) rather than facing and feeling them. But clearly, it was time for a change.

 Facing your issues instead of numbing out is scary, I get it. But the truth is that it DOES NOT go away if you just ignore it. In fact, it fuckin gets worse. I cannot encourage you enough to just deal with it.

You’re trying to change everyone else, or at least think everyone else needs to change. If everyone would just do as you say, and stop doing this and that, and just shut the hell up (and the dick version of Logan comes out), your life would be better?? FALSE…..

THE TRUTH HURTS: Everyone else’s shit is not about you. Deal with your own issues and I promise you that you’ll be way way better. 

And remember if it itches. Scratch that itch.