Why I meditate - Kindness, Stillness & Clarity

As I prepare for my annual end of the year 10 day silent Vipassana retreat as taught by SN Goenka (www.dhamma.org), I try not to anticipate or be anxious. Though I have done many 10 day courses and even 20 and 30 day ones, they are never easy though they do get easier. I never know what will come up – it’s not a time to work on a particular issue or part of my life. It is a time to let whatever comes up arise and pass just observing developing equanimity.

The most common question I get is how I feel at the end of a course. I have struggled with the answer because it is hard to explain the feeling of joy, peace and serenity. Recently I started following a forum entitled, “Kindness, Stillness and Clarity” and these three terms seem to capture the feelings after a course.

Clarity

The purpose of Vipassana meditation is to see things are they really are, not as I hope or fear them to be. This clarity does not come from greater understanding of the world, it comes from observing what is happening internally when my mind and 5 senses come in contact with the world observing what thoughts and, much more importantly, what sensations arise allowing them to pass. If I can stop reacting with craving to pleasant sensations and aversion to unpleasant ones, just observing objectively, not become attached or identifying myself with the sensations and thoughts, then I am in a better position to see reality or the true nature of all things which is that they are all impermanent.

Therefore, I feel a greater sense of clarity after a meditation retreat. I feel closer to reality, not the illusions I construct to try to make sense of the world or to cope.

Stillness

The Buddha said that the world is on fire. It can seem overwhelming whether what’s happening in the world or in our personally lives especially around the holidays. Things that bother us or get us upset are different for each person based on our own past experiences. The purpose of the mediation course is to allow those imbedded feelings to arise and pass which can only happen if I do not react . This cleansing happens only when I am present, moment by moment, focusing on and using my breath and sensations. The nature of consciousness is what seems like a never ending cycle of thoughts that create sensations that create thoughts and so on. Only when I am present, in the moment, can the old imbedded sensations arise and pass. Just like when I stop eating, I burn stored food.

So after so much imbedded “garbage” is cleared out, I feel calm, peaceful or still – even lighter. It does not come from understanding. It is literally a physical exorcism. The why is not important.

Kindness

When asked what percentage of the path is friendship, the Buddha answered, “100%”. This explanation still puzzles me because the meditation is so solitary and the silent retreats are designed to allow me to be alone with few distractions. My limited understanding of Buddha’s explanation is that we are here, now in a human body in this world for a reason and with lessons to learn. We appear to be separate but that is an illusion. We are all connected and need to learn to live together harmoniously, compassionately. To be unkind to others, I have to 1st hurt myself. I get more out of being kind to others, helping them, than the receiving party.

So after a silent Vipassana retreat I am more compassionate, more kind, more connected.

The euphoria I feel after a silent retreat does not last – it inspires me to do the work which includes a suggested 2 hours/days of meditation and at least annual courses plus service at one of the over 200 worldwide Vipassana centers as taught by S.N. Goenka which do not charge anything, even for room or board, surviving on the work of volunteers and donations from previous students.

But unlike the feelings we get from drugs or alcohol, it feels real and I believe I make progress every time, liberating myself from the old imbedded thoughts and habit patterns, one by one. ?Though we all may have our own religions or spiritual practices, we all have one thing in common – we are all human. Vipassana is a human practice uncovered by the Buddha to deal with the human condition we all are experiencing in this world, right now. It is universal.

I may be “in” this physical world but I am not “of” this world. After a silent retreat, I feel at the same time more connected to the world, to people, to the earth, but also apart from it like there is more to it than what my senses and mind can grasp all of which is hard to put into words. Which nevertheless gives me a sense of kindness, stillness and clarity. Which is why I meditate.

Daniel Bryant Benedetta Jasmine Guetta Shlomo Benartzi Hal Hershfield Rebecca Hourihan AIF? PPC? Sheri Fitts Lauren K. Loehning CFP ? CIMA ? AIF? Daniel Dodd- Ramirez John Spach Dick Darian Mark Bruno Michele Davidson Bill Chetney Joe DeNoyior Charlie Epstein