Why I left my preferred social media - and why I’m treating LinkedIn different

In January, I quietly deactivated my Facebook, Instagram and Threads accounts. I toyed with making a Big Announcement to my networks before I left, but honestly, I just couldn’t be bothered and doing so seemed very performative.

I originally joined Facebook in 2007, followed by Instagram in 2012. Those were heady days, with friend lists well over Dunbar’s number.? But it was great reconnecting with people I’d lost touch with, playing Scrabble, farming (!?), finding out what happened to that toxic ex or school bully, and, in the case of Instagram, making sure everyone knew what I was eating…?

Back in those days, a simpler time, I saw posts from people I knew in the order they were posted. Then in 2009, the newsfeed tweaking began, beginning with having our feeds organised by a post’s popularity. Subsequent updates, meant to enhance the user experience, inevitably resulted in a chorus of, “Why does Facebook keep changing my newsfeed?!”. (If you’ve forgotten all the changes we’ve experienced over the years, some good person has thought to keep track of them for us, Facebook News Feed Algorithm History?)

Jump forward to 2023 and my newsfeeds on Facebook and Instagram were just a mess. Every other post was an ad, on Instagram I was being fed a stream of short videos from total strangers a la TikTok while losing large chunks of my day, and amongst it all I was missing important updates from people I actually knew.

I realised if this was happening to me, it was surely happening to others, so what’s the point in posting? No one was going to see it anyway. My content was just going to be bumped down the pecking order in favour of an ad or a stranger. You’d have to be on these platforms ALL THE TIME to see anything of value.?

By the end of last year, my feeds were just variations of:

• Yelling about Very Serious Things that I was well aware of and couldn’t do anything about
• Telling me what a terrible unfulfilled/unproductive/unenlightened person I was, or
• Absolute banality.

My brain felt like it was going to explode. I hung on until the end of the year so I could document a final big adventure - my wonderful Camino de Santiago walk - and Christmas, but decided after that I was calling it quits once and for all.?

Now, this isn’t the first time I’ve deactivated my social media but this time has been different. Those breaks were hard; the FOMO was intense - and my natural levels of FOMO are already higher than the average person on a good day.

But this time, I’ve felt nada. There have been no feelings of missing out at all. So what was different this time? Well, there are three reasons I broke up with my social media accounts and I think it is those reasons that have made the difference:

1. There was no utility to using my preferred social media anymore, I was getting nothing out of it. I was not feeling connected or engaged - just futile and enraged.?
2. My son turned 10, and the thought that he’d want to be on social media as he approaches his teens scares the bejesus out of me, so I want to model a fulfilling life sans social media to my children.
3. My mental health could not take it anymore. Social media felt like plugging all the appliances into one socket - at best you blow a fuse, at worst you burn down the house.

The last man standing now is LinkedIn*, which I’ve justified staying with because I’m on the hunt for a job, so there's utility, it doesn't affect my mental wellbeing, and LinkedIn isn't getting in the way of a fulfilling life.

So what have I found since I deactivated my accounts?

Well, I’m taking fewer pictures of my food!

In all seriousness though, I am a lot more present, and taking fewer pictures has been part of that, but in a positive way. I often struggle to stay present “in the moment”, (see aforementioned FOMO). I felt a strong desire to document (justify?) my existence in the world and social media fed that beast (“I’m here! I’m worthy!”). Now I just enjoy what's happening.

Also, I have thoughts on things, but I don’t need to share those all the time. I've gained confidence (and freedom) in knowing how I feel about something and leaving it there. (The irony of this statement, given this article, is not lost on me, but please allow me a little cognitive dissonance to get through the day)

Overall, I have just found a sense of peace. Even well-meaning accounts on mental health and well-being were continuously telling me that I was Doing It All Wrong (Anyone remember Harry Enfield’s “Only Me” guy?) and the goalposts to betterment kept shifting. As a continuous improvement junky (and perfectionist), it was getting unhealthy.

There is just one thing still bugging me from a professional perspective: Social media channels are often integral to external engagement, could my disconnection impact my ability to be a successful communications professional?

Well, I don’t think so…? Most organisations have a social media specialist (even a team) to provide advice and expertise on social media, so that is who I would defer to. I’ll keep up-to-date on what’s happening in the area - nothing wrong with continuous learning - and I think I can still successfully plan and execute communication activities while not actively participating myself. Who knows, it might make me think more creatively about what channels I use in my communications planning.

*NB: I do still have Messenger and WhatsApp, but I don't count those as social media, they're messaging services and in the same digital family as e-mail (IMHO).