Why I Left Traditional Engineering

I'm going to make this super simple and outline my relationship to Engineering to you, Dear Reader, as a bulleted list. In general, I grew up with engineering from my family, then when I was in college, the engineering environment was unwelcoming and when I got to the "real world," the engineering environment was even more unwelcoming and much less rewarding to my great disappointment. Luckily, I'm doing something else now. I wrote this mostly for those who kept bringing up my degree as if I'm "wasting it." I'm not wasting it, I'm currently using it for something else. Stick around till the end for some thoughts on moving forward.

• I come from a family of engineers, both maternal and paternal, and I still had less recognition of competency than many of my male peers, regardless of their history with Engineering and regardless of my achievements and accolades.
• From a young age, I was introduced to and taught many fundamental principles of Engineering Observation, Engineering Analysis, and Reverse Engineering and yet I am still not seen as “competent” as my male peers, for the same work. Even when I accomplished better results, I was still looked over or just seen as “lucky.”
• I am very good at engineering and I am a quick learner, but that does not do any good when you’ve been delegated over and over again to “get coffee.”
• It’s never enough; I never have enough experience, enough time in the office, enough grades, enough achievements to be considered “good enough” when compared to my male peers (or my mother) in engineering.
• I’ve been told, “You haven’t had enough experience in engineering to know whether it’s right for you.” Is five years of job experience not enough to know I have to push a rock up a hill every day to attempt to be taken seriously? Is ten years of observing and studying engineering enough time to know that the “men’s club” feels really uncomfortable for women? Is a lifetime of experiencing the constant push and pull of proving myself (“I’m smart enough, I’m competent enough, I’m good enough”) that often comes from the competitive nature of engineering enough time?
• My mother, Mrs. Eisentraut made quite a name for herself in Engineering in Arizona. All the major engineering companies knew her by name. She was an A+ student. She easily got into any company she applied to. She made quite a name for herself. I am so proud of her and the work she accomplished. However, I was not an A+ student. I might be good at engineering but I am nowhere near as good as she is. How do I describe to you the sinking feeling of being in an interview, being expected to be as good as the great Mrs. Eisentraut and falling short... every single time? How do I describe to you the deep disappointment from not being able to fill bigger than average shoes? My mom made it her life mission to become an engineer at 8 years of age. I decided to go into engineering when I was 22. It makes a big difference especially when you are expected to be as good or better than your own mother in the eyes of the interviewer.
• I’ve personally led and/or managed 27 out of 30 engineering teams and yet when I discuss this, list this online or mention this, I’m seen as “spoiled” and told “you need to be more humble.”
• I’ve had to use my degree to “prove” to people that I’m smart.
• I’ve been stalked, harassed, and sexually assaulted by my male peers in their attempt to prove to themselves that they can get rid of their competition.
• I’ve had teachers whisper to me, “You can’t do this, you’re a girl.”
• I loved my classes and I loved working in a team and with men, however; I worked on all engineering problems by myself then asked for help when I needed it while many of my male peers copied the solutions from other people. And somehow, many of these same male peers were seen as more competent and more capable than I was. Therefore, my male peers often received higher grades than myself and many of my females peers, simply for being male.
• A male student deleted my work and sabotaged my assignments any chance he got in capstone (the top and final course in Engineering) in an attempt to delay my graduation and waste my time, energy and money.
• I’ve had another student tell me, “You’re too pretty to be an engineer.”
• The effects of gendered stereotypes were compounded when I went to an interview and I was asked about my grades; who am I to want to scream and shout that I worked harder at earning my grades than my male peers?
• I loved working with my male counterparts and I loved working with my male students; I did not enjoy it however when the older generation of men only saw my gendered parts and not my brain.
• I loved studying engineering and I enjoyed 99.9% of all my classes: I did not enjoy having to constantly and consistently overcome preconceived notions of my female gender and to constantly receive lower grades, lower recognition and lower achievement rate for the same submission and amount of work as my male counterparts.
• I’ve been set up and betrayed greatly by female peers who were supposed to be my role models.
• After graduating, I foolishly accepted jobs that paid me less than one fourth of my proposed earning potential.
• I am saddened greatly by the hypocritical nature of people who view women in engineering; when women and men want women to join engineering, then do everything they can to sabotage their success.
• I’ve had people constantly tell me I should re-join engineering so that my degree is not “wasted,” what do I tell them when so many people of my past wasted my time, energy and money with their own gendered stereotypes and preconceived notions in both school and work? I just wanted to create meaningful work. I don’t want to have to push a rock up a hill each day just to be listened to and taken seriously.
• I’ve had many people tell me I should re-join engineering because I would be an “encouragement” to other women who want to join. Excuse me; you try joining a profession that doesn’t seem to want you around and see how long you last.?
• I’ve spent most of my life, my schooling and some of my career trying to prove to people that I’m smart enough, competent enough, and good enough for engineering and it’s just not worth it when people don’t want you working there, the environment is toxic to your gender and when no matter what you do or say… it will never be enough.
• How do I describe to you the deep disappointment that comes from learning, studying and working tirelessly your entire life on something you love only to be rejected, dejected, abandoned and shown the door three times more than any equally competent male counterpart?
• How do I describe to you the deep sense of loss that comes after you expected and were expected to love and work in engineering from a very young age to old age only to find that your expectations were crushed when the environment against women in engineering reared its ugly head?
• How do I describe to you the feelings that come from being constantly reminded that by your gender and constantly trying to fill a parent’s larger than life shoes, that you are not good enough to do something you enjoyed most of your life?
• How do I share with you the feeling of investing a huge amount of time, energy and money into something that ultimately pays back very little and instead takes advantage of you?
• It saddens me greatly to tell you that I had to leave engineering because I am tired of being harassed, seen as less competent, less successful and less mentally capable in the engineering field and by engineers because I was born a woman and my grades and accolades never were and never will be as good as my mother’s.
• Did you know that as a woman, I have to over-play and over-prove my excitement, dedication and competency both in the interview room and every day after getting hired into the field of engineering? Do you know how stressful and exhausting that is? Do you think doing this has been worth the extremely small amount of pay I’ve received?
• I’ve lost my faith with this profession. It’s been a constant, unending, uncomfortable struggle with the drama I’ve received, observed and experienced. Something really needs to change because many highly competent, highly skilled people are being pushed out of a profession that requires a high degree of ethics, education, and attention to detail. God knows there is a huge demand due to the boomer generation retiring. How can we possibly meet this demand when so many competent people are being pushed out, simply because they were born women?
• I left this ugly part of my life behind because I was sick and tired of being harassed, taken advantage of, not paid and seen as being “lower” than my male counterparts for the same work. I am saddened and disgusted with the constant, upward, everyday battle of trying to prove my worth in engineering. Women are not seen as being as competent or equal to men, especially in engineering and especially in the “real world.” I will join engineering again when people can start seeing women and therefore people honestly, without stupid preconceived notions of how smart or talented they are based on an extremely narrow set of circumstances. I know that we, as a nation and a society can treat each other better. If I was born a man, I can guarantee you I would not be writing this today. This is why I left engineering and started coaching.

Closing Thoughts for You, Dear Reader:

Never try to be the one to fill someone else’s larger than life shoes. Especially that of a parent. You will inevitably fail almost every single time. And I don’t mean overall; even just the subtleties. You will never be exactly like them or who they are (the person whose shoes you are filling). And if you try to be, know that to try such a feat is so incredibly exhausting! So instead… be yourself. Find yourself and forge your own path.

You will experience setbacks. You will experience hardships. If other people keep you from doing what you love; don’t worry, there are many other things you can do with your life.

If you are a woman in engineering and you want to stick with it, have tougher skin than I do, didn’t experience the setbacks and trauma that I did, then great! Keep at it so long as it’s something you want to do.

If you have an engineering degree but are no longer in engineering, don’t worry! You can use your degree towards many other opportunities!

Keep looking forward; sometimes we are given opportunities that disguise themselves as disappointments, setbacks or challenges.

Study what you want. Do what you want. Don’t let other people’s preconceived ideas of you dictate your life. Never live your life to try to constantly satisfy other people because if you do… it will never be enough.

Be okay with leaving the past behind. Move forward knowing that you did your best and that better things are in your future.

I had to share this article with my friends and family; they expected me to stay in engineering, stay passionate, tolerate the toxic environment and thrive with meaningful work despite everything that holds me back and keeps me from what I could have been in engineering. Imagine, for a moment, how much disappointment they and I must feel.

No matter what happens however, I know that I have love and support from my friends and family and that… more than anything else… keeps me going.

For Spiritual Motivation in Leaving the Past Behind When Life is Unfair, Follow this Link:

Joel Osteen: "Your Move When Life's Unfair"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CDY2O2ca6Y&t=1347s

Like what you see? Choose a link below

Evaluate Your Business Mindset – Complete Our Powerful & Anonymous Self-Assessment

or Learn More About How We Can Help You & Your Business – Watch the Video