Why I Left Active Duty, An Airborne Ranger's Personal Reflection

The reason why I left active duty and personal reflection: I was reassigned to a different Army unit located in New York after my old unit was deactivated while I was in Korea. This was due to political military downsizing between 2011 to 2016. I specifically requested orders for this unit because I knew that they were being deployed to Afghanistan. I was an eager commissioned infantry officer wanting to prove myself in combat, and I believed that it was necessary for my military career. 580 out of 800 soldiers from the battalion left for Afghanistan prior to my arrival. The remaining 220 soldiers were to remain in the rear as the “Ready Force”

Upon my arrival, I discussed with the Battalion Commander my goals, and informed him that I specifically requested orders to the unit so that I can deploy to Afghanistan. The Battalion Commander decided to keep me instead as the Ready Force Operations Officer In-Charge. I would essentially be second in command, for the 220 soldiers left behind. It was a major disappointment for me. Nevertheless, I did an excellent job and quickly became recognized as one of the Battalion Commander’s most valued officer within his command. My value to the Army was recognized though out other entities within the organization.?

I was specifically being requested by the Division to take a position with the Pathfinder Company for the Division. A Pathfinder Company is a unique unit with the purpose of insertion to establish helicopter landing zones and conduct airborne operations. I only knew of this because my colleagues from the Pathfinder Company reached out to me. My Battalion Commander never notified me of this, and denied their request to have me transferred. This was information that was kept hidden from me. A couple months later, I received an agreement to be part of the Old Guard in Washington D.C, which is a high honor. My current Battalion Commander just needed to approve my transfer. He denied my transfer request despite my pleas, but instead had plans for me to take an Executive Officer position in one of his line companies.

During my initial counseling with the Company Commander, I informed him that I am having doubts to stay in the Army after my term of obligation for service is over. I stated that I am missing crucial career development opportunities, and felt that no one was concerned for what is best for me. The Company Commander told me he understood and encouraged me to continue my service. Four months later I was notified that I made the qualified list to deploy with 75th Ranger Regiment, Army Special Operations. As an Airborne Ranger, I was enthusiastic to submit my request. The thought of leaving a regular line Infantry unit to a Special Operations unit was exciting. The Battalion Commander once again denied my request to leave. He believed that I was in a crucial position when the unit was soon to partake in a joint readiness training exercise which is an evaluation to certify a unit for deployment. He said he absolutely needed me during this 6-month critical phase.

I felt that I was being treated unfairly, which was extremely discouraging. I soon received my promotion to Captain, and was also selected by Army Special Operation Forces Selections Board to for Army Civil Affairs. Yet, I still felt that this was not enough of a reason for me to continue being in the Army. I shared my thoughts with my Company Commander, that I have decided to get out of the military, and transition into the civilian workforce. He asked me to really think it over, and said he will notify the Battalion Commander. I submitted my resignation packet to leave Active Duty military, and it went up to the Battalion Commander for a confirmation signature.

I immediately received a phone call from my Company Commander asking me to go directly meet with the Battalion Commander as soon as possible. I quickly made my way to the office and he asked me what this packet was. I told him that my obligation term has ended and I intend to be discharged from the military. He had the most shocked look, and belligerently yelled at me saying that he was not going to sign it. I told him that he is legally obligated to sign it because my terms of service were fulfilled. I also shared with him that I found a position supporting the United States Department of State with a start date shortly after my obligation expiration date. He quickly became infuriated, and had me immediately stripped from my currently position from the line Infantry Company to a Service Support unit. On my way out, he ran over to the Human Resource Officer, and threw my packet at him while cursing and yelling. This ultimately delayed my planned separation date by nine months, and I lost the civilian job opportunity.

I felt that there was no support. Since I felt so hopeless, I went to the Inspector General to investigate because I wanted to get out of the military. The investigation found that the chain of command was legally obligated to sign my separation packet and it was an ethical violation. On a follow-on meeting with the Brigade Commander, my Battalion Commander’s boss gave me two ultimatums. He stated that he will sign my paperwork, but make my last six months in the Army very difficult and without the ability to take any leave or have weekends off. Six months is the minimum processing time to leave the military. He also offered a second choice for me to serve ten more months and run the ranger training program for another battalion. If I was to choose the second option, he would ensure that I will be granted leave as needed, and be able to do whatever is necessary for a successful transition into the civilian work force. I chose the second option of extending ten more months rather than to have a grueling last six months.?

My Battalion Commander was very focused on the success and failure of his battalion. It is a large responsibility and he wants to have the best team to ensure that the 800-man infantry battalion is fit for combat. Being a Battalion Commander is a pivotal moment in anyone’s Army career, which can make or break their promotion to Colonel. My Battalion Commander viewed me as one of his most valuable assets and was not willing to risk losing me. He wanted to have the best leaders in his organization to lead soldiers, and receive great performance evaluation.

My Company Commander was initially excited to hear the news that I will be assigned as his second in command. He has heard great things about me. He was slightly disappointed when I did not meet his full expectations during my initial counseling. He was expecting a highly motivated Officer, not an Officer who he felt was burned out. Just like the Battalion Commander, he was in critical moment in his career where his time leading 175 soldiers could make or break his career as well. Even though he relayed my messaged to the Battalion Commander that I was submitting my separation packet, neither believed that I really intended to, after making both the Army Special Operations Forces selection board and promotion board. He didn’t decide to back me up when the Battalion Commander was being unethical because the Battalion Commander was the one who wrote his evaluation.

My Brigade Commander had a very similar mindset mentality as my Battalion Commander. He was very career oriented and new nothing but the Army. The Army was his whole life. My Brigade Commander was supporting his immediate subordinate who he trusted. Just like my battalion, he wanted me to only contribute within his realm so he gave me the choice of working at another battalion because he still recognized me as a key asset. What he was really hoping for was that I would change my mind within the ten-month extension and decide to continue my Active Duty Army career. He too was not expecting me to leave the Army.

I was a high performing individual, and earned the trust from the soldiers I worked with. I wanted to excel and progress in my career. I believed that a leader should always want to see their subordinate succeed even if it means new opportunities with a different organization. I felt that I was only being used for the success of someone else’s career and thought it was selfish of them. Despite having rank, I realized that I had very little freedom or choice for my own career. I felt that the culture was toxic and the leadership was being unethical. I felt this the most when the chain of command refused to sign my separation packet. I became even more frustrated when the Brigade Commander gave very little choices on the two options, with one of the options to make life hard for me for the next six months. I saw the ten-month extension the only way to have some weekends off, and use my earned leave days to once try to find a new career in the civilian world. I saw it as the only way to prepare myself for transition from the military.

The idea of purposely holding a service member when his or her obligation term is fulfilled presents an ethical situation. The pressure to receive a good evaluation to that would make or break my Battalion Commander’s career was due to individual cause of unethical behavior. Two examples of individual cause of unethical behavior are motivated blindness and moral reasoning. Motivated blindness occurs when an individual looks for what is in their best interest and does not think about the interest of others whether it is intentional or unintentional (Kravitz, Lecture 9). The Battalion Commander could have been so focused on his own career progression that he gave very little concern for my career. Moral reasoning occurs when individuals choose to make unethical decisions because they believe it must be done for a different moral principle that is viewed to be more important, such hurting an individual because it is for the greater good. (Kravtiz, Lecture 9). The Battalion Commander may have believed that the lethality and welfare of the soldiers depended on me staying within the battalion so he chose to deny all opportunities for my individual career progression.

Even though it was a widely apparent unethical situation where I was forced to extend my time on Active Duty, no one said anything about it. If anything, I was expecting my Company Commander to say something. I believed that he was facing the fear factor, which justified his silence (Detert 2016). Just like the example when people will not report a problem to an ombudsperson because he gets paid by the Management (Detert 2016), the Company Commander was unlikely to say anything because the Battalion Commander and Brigade Commander wrote his evaluation report. He was not going to do anything to stand in their way.

The third major concept that occurred was that my higher-ranking Officers did not really listen when they were being informed that I wanted to receive my discharge papers because they suffered from confirmatory bias. People are likely to only interpret information that aligns with their beliefs, and information that contradicts our view is unexpected or will not register on our radar (Manzoni, 2013). My Company Commander, Battalion Commander, and Brigade Commander did not believe that I was serious about leaving the military. In their minds, a highly respected and proven extraordinary Officer will always choose to have a life-long military career. Thus, my Battalion Commander was in utter shock even when he was notified prior that I will be submitting my resignation packet. My Brigade Commander really believed that I would not resign after giving ten more months past my obligation. Instead, it made me further confirm my decision to leave Active Duty Army.

Looking back at this experience, I can honestly say that I have no regrets serving Active Duty and no regrets leaving. The military allowed me to serve my country, and it gave me the necessary skills that allows me to continue to be successful in my civilian career. I learned that I am someone who has a good work ethic, but can easily destroy the good reputation I had built for myself based on what I believe is right. I am always willing to give more to society rather than the average person, but I too have a threshold level on how much I can endure. Once that threshold is reached, I make decisions in which I am fully committed, and where I will no change my mind. My Brigade Commander believed that I would change my mind but I did not. I also realized that I did not manage the expectations of my stakeholders appropriately.?

I will be sure to always try to look at things from other people’s viewpoints. This will allow me to understand the reasoning for the choices they make. The second thing that I will always do in the future is to take immediate action if something goes wrong. I continued to let my Battalion Commander prevent me from taking critical career opportunities. I will never let any employer hinder my progression forward, or work for one. I will always reflect more on critical moments of my life, in which I have made life changing decisions. Reflecting has allowed me to gain a better understanding of the choices I made. I normally have a mindset of not reflecting on the past, and to just worry about what is in front of me currently. I was wrong, and I need to analyze my past decisions more often to capture lessons learned. Lastly, I will always try never burn a bridge with someone I had a great professional relationship with. My Battalion Commander and I originally had a great relationship but things quickly went south. Even though I may not meet eye to eye with another person in the future, we could both learn about the experience that happened so that we can always improve ourselves. My Battalion Commander may never learn what really happened and learn from this experience. If the bridge still exists with a professional colleague, I can still give and receive constructive criticism to improve myself. If an event such as this arises in the future, I know that I can handle it wiser.