Why "I just wanted to..." is the Worst, & What to Do Instead
Charlene DeCesare
Senior Consultant, RAIN Group ? Author, 'The Email Cemetery' ? Doctoral Student, JWU
Today is likely to be rife with last-ditch efforts to close a few more 2018 deals. Your inbox (and maybe your sent file) is probably full of emails that start with, “I just wanted to…”
These few words reveal so much. Let’s break it down:
How an email starts says a lot about the true goal of the message. When the first sentence starts with “I...” there’s a pretty good chance that the objective is more meaningful for the sender than the receiver.
As the email continues, the more often it says I, We, My, Our, the more the sender is prioritizing themselves. In person, they may be generous, helpful people. In sales emails, not so much.
Next, “just” betrays a lack of confidence. It’s the word equivalent of knocking very quietly on a door of a new neighbor. You’re visiting unannounced and about to ask them for money. On the one hand, you need them to answer the damn door. On the other hand, you don’t really believe you have any right being there. Deep down, you’re actually a little mortified with yourself.
Other phrases that also convey this lack of belief in one's mission or value include anything that remotely sounds like, “Sorry to bother you….”
The remaining part of the opening statement focuses on what the sender wants. They say, "I wanted to...." in past tense because it feels more thoughtful. (It's not.) The phrase may also show up as “I would like to…” and “I would love to....”. There’s also “I hope….” and “I am hopeful that…” (See also: “just”).
In a very typical email that I received this morning, the sender used versions of these phrases SEVEN times in about four paragraphs. You'll start counting now too. Just wait.
My kids are actually the ones who taught me that when I want someone to do something, it has to be about why it’s important to them. The more time-crunched and desperate the situation, the more critical the communication approach. Yelling the sales equivalent of “DO IT NOW BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO, AND I SAID SO!” may get the job done. However, it’s not going to feel good to anyone involved, and certainly won’t help the long-term relationship. As alluded to earlier, being meek and weak is likewise ineffective.
In summary, remember these tips the next time you send a sales email:
- Beware ego words. Instead, use versions of “you” early and often.
- Be relevant. Do your homework and/or reference real conversations.
- Be confident. Write while deeply believing in your mission and value. Know it. Feel it.
- Connect to their priorities. If they barely know you, they probably don’t care what you want. (Heck, they may not care even if you gave birth to them.)
Ultimately, all of this connects mindset, message, and method. This is what the Firewallk Sales system is all about. Need assistance crafting your next sales email? Message me to schedule a free consultation, and let’s work on it together. Happy to help you!
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