Why I joined Butternut Box ??

Getting my first dog was a rollercoaster. I'd done a LOT of research, puppy proofed my house, read Total Recall [a great book by Pippa Mattinson] and prepared myself mentally. But nothing could have prepared me for the rollercoaster that is the puppy blues and the constant worry of 'am I doing this right?'.

When Max stopped eating at 14 weeks old I felt that I wasn't doing anything right. His weight had dropped dangerously low and no amount of putting it down and leaving it was working. I found myself shipping good quality kibble over from Canada at ridiculous prices in the hope he'd like it and every evening I'd be riddled with anxiety as he inevitably took a sniff and walked away from it.

The lightbulb moment came when my dog walker noticed how underweight he was and handed me a pouch of Butternut to try when I picked him up from her house one day. I'd never heard about feeding fresh but in that moment, I knew that I wanted to join this business and be a part of changing the dog food industry for good.

In early 2020 I sent off an email to Kev and Dave in the hope there would be an opportunity in the Bristol region to get involved. I was a fresh law grad with sales experience, who had inevitably fallen into agency recruitment [and hated it]. I remember being SO nervous when a call was set up with the Sales Director and then disheartened when I learnt that the Bristol patch had already been attempted and failed, so therefore there were no plans to add anyone to that region for the foreseeable future.

Fast forward 2 years later, I had escaped the agency life and had grown so much in my new role at Backbase [huge shoutout to Deke Barnett here who took a chance on me and taught me everything he knew]. I was comfortable in my role and was enjoying working in the Fintech space. Ok, I wasn't passionate about banking BUT I was passionate about the great people I worked with and the impact the product was having on the world. Deke and I were like a dream team, growing the 3 UK tech HQ's together, whilst having a lot of laughs along the way. I knew how lucky I was that I had such a great work life balance and worked with such good people. I actually saw myself growing with the company and never leaving to be completely honest.

And in comes the curveball. A notification in my inbox from Linkedin that Butternut Box were hiring a Senior Tech Recruiter. Bearing in mind that this is a brand I had seen twice a day when feeding Max, for almost 3 years at this point... As a big believer in 'everything happens for a reason' something inside me was screaming to apply, give it a shot, see what happens. I wasn't actively looking for a new job [I was so very happy at Backbase with a great manager] and the confidence in my own abilities was low [an unfortunate side effect of the agency recruitment environment]. Yet I found myself adding the Butternut talent team on Linkedin and before I knew it I was on a google hangout with Alison dela Cruz.

I found the interview process refreshing, I found the task to be thought provoking and I really appreciated the personal touches [like including Max's name on any comms for example]. When I got THE call, I burst into happy tears and ran around my garden. Very quickly though I was flooded with a mixture of anxiety and guilt.

What if Butternut have overestimated my abilities?

Is it really a good idea to move from a well established, market leading fintech [market value had just been set at €2.5 billion] to a smaller, early stage startup in a recession?

Would I feel disconnected from my team? I'd be moving from a fully flexible hybrid approach, with access to an office in both Cardiff and Bristol to fully remotely with an occasional jaunt to London.

Would it be possible to find a professional relationship [and mentorship] as good as the one I had with Deke?

Was I ready to step into a more senior position and take on more responsibility?

Why would I leave Backbase after only 1 year 3 months, a place where I'd never been more happier in my job?

Would Backbase be annoyed that they took a chance on me, only for me to leave 15 months later?

These thoughts of course were exacerbated by some of my now ex-colleagues, some of whom I really respected and looked up too. Comments were made about the economic environment, the risk, the job title, the salary package, work life balance, the lack of South West office. Damn, even a straight talking 'why on earth would you want to join a dog food company over a market leading fintech, are you mad?' comment. Coupling this with the imposter syndrome that came about as a result of the agency environment that just wasn't for me... lets just say my head was a mess.

I remember reading something once that has always stuck with me. 'Being uncomfortable means you are growing'.

Then I remembered the impact I'd made at Backbase, I'd built an entirely new tech headquarters in Bristol by myself [from 0-32 within 12 months] and supported Deke with hiring in Cardiff regularly, plus a London hire here and there. I'd become a trusted partner for a part of Backbase called 'Retail Banking' and I had helped the Engineering Manager within this department become confident with his hiring processes and the 'DNA' that he should be looking for when opening up a new position. I was able to say within the first 5 minutes of speaking to a candidate whether we would hire them... and the best part? 9/10 times the team would agree.

I didn't owe Backbase anything. I'd worked hard, I'd embodied the values of the business and to be frank I had added a lot of value to not only the 2 man UK recruitment team, but also to the wider business [by leading our UK future talent scheme, plus company wide D&I initiatives like international women's day]. I was GOOD at my job and I deserved to give myself credit for it.

I could do this. I didn't need to listen to those that doubted the authenticity of the offer from Butternut and I knew that if I didn't take it I would regret FOREVER that I hadn't stepped out of my comfort zone. Not to mention Butternuts glowing Glassdoor reviews, my personal love for the product and the company's mission statement. Anyone that knows me personally knows that the one thing I am truly passionate about is dogs and their happiness. And here I was, an offer to marry this with something I'm pretty damn good at, and I was hesitating?! It clicked, in that moment, that this is what imposter syndrome really is. My inner saboteur.

In the past 11 months at Butternut Box I've learnt more than I thought possible. I've seen the impact of my work daily and been surrounded by the most talented, energetic, dog mad people I've ever met. I've been challenged and trusted with complex projects that run parallel with Talent Acquisition, have hired some incredibly smart & kind engineers [and their dogs] and I have a fantastic manager who has already helped me grow more in the past 11 months than I ever thought possible. I've also been to a Great Butternut Get Together, been to Recfest, seen the business become a B Corp and headed up the sponsorship of organisations like Codebar and Rails Girls. I am so grateful that I not only was given the opportunity to work here, but that I had the guts to take the leap.

I wake up every morning grateful that I work where I work, which is something I didn't even know was possible 3 years ago.

My advice? Go with your gut, follow what you're truly passionate about and don't listen to your inner saboteur or those that doubt you. Things DO happen for a reason. You CAN do whatever you set your mind too.

Oh, and dogs DO deserve better.