Why I Invested $50,000...

7,680hours, and over $50,000 dollars invested into my personal and professional development in the last 4 years...

All for the search on "How to obtain and achieve life mastery." It lead to many, many frustrations and long confusing days as I analysed, battle tested, and studied teachers, philosophers, thought leaders, and industry experts in the seven areas of life.

So much of what gets taught in the self help / personal developemnt industry can quite often be contradictory and leave the student lost, with the feeling of not knowing who to trust, believe and listen to. 

Over the last 4 years I exponentially increased my awareness and conciousness, yet my life was not really changing the way I wanted it to.

Now, for anyone that has gone down the path of personal development will know it can get very addictive and "comfortable" to continually keep learning and resist taking action on our goals and dreams.

Why? Becuase taking action can be very confronting. It causes us to confront out fears.

But what happend next made the 7,680 and over $50,000 worth it. I was introduced to teacher, author and human behavior specialist Dr John Demartini, and in the upcoming article / e-book you may experience a paradigm shift and find the answers that you may have been looking for!

This is essentially an E-book so strap in!

I've been fascinated for about the past 12-15 years about why is it some people say they want to do something and do it, and then why some people say they want to do something and not much happens.

Would you agree you’ve also seen that, witnessed that?

As an example, when I ask a group of people "How many of you here would love to be financially independent?" Would you agree that it would be the majority? But yet what is the percentage of people who actually obtain that? The stats show, about 1% of us, also called the one percenters right?

So would you agree that if 99% of the people say they want financial independence and 1% obtain it, that's a pretty significant discrepancy? And this isn't limited to finances, this could be relationship orientated, spiritually orientated, social leadership orientated, or in physical fitness/wellbeing. Its many things that we sort of say but don't get around to doing, would you agree?

But that's where my fascination lies, why is it that some people go out and do it and why some people don't and that's what I would like to share with you here.

Now before I go any further, it's probably wise that I introduce myself so at least you can get a bit of my back ground.

About 4 years ago on a September Tuesday morning I believe it was, I was getting ready to go to work. At that time I was working in the family business which was in transport, I was a truck driver.

I went to say good morning to my wife and give my son levi a kiss goodbye who was about 12 months old at the time. And just before I was about to leave, my wife said to me “Hey can you sit down for a second, I want to tell you something”. Now for the guys out there, when a woman says “I want to tell you something” what does our intuition say? “Oh shit what's happened right?” Or “Oh shit, what have I done”..

So I sit down, (Now just so you know, i'm a pretty calm guy, like it takes a lot to get me pissed off) So I sit down, and she says to me “Um, i'm pregnant”...

So she tells me she’s pregnant. However we haven't been sexually intimate since the conception of our son, so about nearly two years. So….

I put two and two together right, and unless she had her way with me in my sleep. “I like to be lighthearted and make some jokes is that ok?”  I knew that this baby she was pregnant with was not mine….

So, I sat there and tried to process that, and for some reason I still don't know why. I didn't break down, and I didn't turn into a rage, isntead she says to me while crying why aren't you yelling at me?! Even though I was very hurt, I guess I wasn't showing “normal” signs of being distraught which just made her feel worse right, and all I could say, which was totally random, was a quote that I had heard just a couple of days prior from Nelson Mandela, you know the ex-president of South Africa and the quote was 

“Feeling anger and resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”...

I took a big breath, got up and walked out the door to work…

Now why do I share that story with you? Because that day was the turning point of my life..

And it set me off on a path with an obsession around one question. What drives human behaviour?

Even though I've been fascinated about this topic for a long time, it's only been in the last 4-5 years that i've spent about 7,500 hours researching, testing, trying things in my own life to find answers…

I was about 2 years into this journey, when I had come across a man by the name of Dr John Demartini. And it was the teachings of Dr John Demartini that for me was the holy grail I guess you could say in my perception at that time, that had the answers I was seeking and looking for..

Up until that point I had studied the teachings from mainstream teachers such as Tony Robbins, Eckhart Tolle, Wayne Dyer, Bob Proctor, Napoleon Hill, and dozens of others. But John's work gave me a proven reproducible science that I could use to create change not only in my life but with my clients as well… 

In fact I had a consultation with a lovely women the other day, who had been seeing numerous counsellors for years about multiple life challenges she was going through and still couldn't get these things dissolved, and in one hour together, “not like that” haha...

In one our together, we dissolved the emotional baggage she had around guilt and her divorce. In her words she said "I didn't walk home, I flew home", "I feel so much lighter now", and that's why I love what I do because having that impact on someone is extremely fulfilling, so that's why I'm here to share with you how to live a limitless life and share the teachings of Dr John Demartini…

Ok, so where I'd like to start is by sharing with you where in my mind is the foundation and fundamentals of what drives human behavior which is "human values" and the reason is because out of all the areas I have studied in creating change, it is human values that drives our decisions , our actions, and our perceptions.

So I would like to start there and then build on from there, is that ok?

Now, not only did I want to know “why some people take action and get results and others don't” I also wanted to know “why I kept wanting to do things and have my life a certain way but I wasn't taking action in some areas”

Is that also true for you? Has there been times in your life where you have said to yourself, or even perhaps promised yourself that you wanted to do something but then you never took action on it?

 I don't know if you have ever analysed that for yourself for your own life…

But for me it was this curiosity that had me seek out books, mentors and teachers. But from a young age, maybe around 17-18 I knew I wanted to do something amazing with my life. Do you want to live an amazing life? 

I didn't really know what that meant at that time, I just knew I wanted to do something amazing. But as I found later into my 20 years, a lot of teachers or “gurus” often discussed being empowered or mastering your life in all areasof life and when I heard this, I had reconnected with my younger self to when I said "I want to live an amazing life", so now I associated an amazing life with the concept of mastering my life in the seven areas of life…

Even though I really struggled academically in school, I was very curious and knew I wanted to have a great mind, I really wanted to have a high intellect, I actually used to visualize about how cool it would be to just plug in like a USB into my brain and upload all the great teachings of the world..

Would you agree that you love to learn or dream about developing your mind and intellect in the areas you're passionate about?

I also knew I wanted to have an international business, I've had a dream for about 4 years now to travel the world and to speak, coach and consult. I've been blessed to travel quite a bit and I love to experience new cultures..

Out of curiosity, would you love to have a positive impact on people globally? However that may look like for you?

At that same age of around 18, I didn't know exactly what it meant but I wanted to be financially independent, in fact I had even set this goal of being a millionaire by the time I was 30, of which I can see was very naive at the time as I had no idea even what was needed to achieve it! But I just knew I wanted to be financially independent. I loved the concept and the idea of my money working for me and having the option to work, I wanted to be able to work as to where I was working because I love it, not because I have to.

I also wanted to have a global family dynamic, this was linked with my love of travel, the idea of having a “family” in each country kind of thing. For whatever reason I wasn't so attracted to this suburban family 9-5 kind of setup.

Halfway into my 20's as I started exploring different teachers and philosophers, I noticed that they all commanded this presence and respect sort of admiration with their audience, and they would consult with global leaders, and I saw this and thought 

“Man I would love to have that kind of leadership and social influence around the world”

Let me ask you this. At the end of your life would you want to be known for something, some social contribution you've made, whether it be in your family dynamic, society, your country or the world?

Having been in and out of the health and wellness industry I knew I wanted to be physically vital and look after my health. I knew that this was the only body we are given so it would be wise to do our best to look after it. When in highschool I competed competitively at a high level in Rugby but multiple surgeries took any possible career off the table for me.

But would you also like to have a vital life, where you maximise your energy, sleep and overall happy with your health?

Then when I dived into spirituality, I've always told people I'm not religious but i'm spiritual and even though I didn't quite know what that meant. I felt like there was a divine order, a higher power if you will and my idea of spirituality was to continually expand my conscious awareness and continue to evolve and spread my message and mission around the world.

And so now, not only do I continue developing myself by staying a hungry student of life but as I continue to evolve as a teacher, coach, trainer, and consultant, I want to empower people to master their life in all seven areas just as I continue to develop. Because I truly believe we can be empowered in all seven areas. 

As I interviewed John a few weeks ago of which you can find on my website under interviews. He had mentioned to me that, any area of your life that you don't empower, somebody else will overpower, and that took a second for it to sink in, but he said..

If you don't empower yourself mentally, you'll be told what to think…

If you don't empower yourself in business or career, you'll be told what to do..

If you don't empower yourself with wealth, you'll be told what your worth..

If you don't empower yourself in relationships you'll probably play the underdog...

If you don't empower yourself socially you'll probably subordinate to social propaganda and conform to society...

If you don't empower yourself physically you'll be told what organs to remove and what drugs to take...

If you don't empower yourself spiritually, you may subject yourself, to subordinate to something dogmatic that may disempower you.

So it would be wise to empower all areas of your life…

Can you relate to me so far? I'm just getting started.

What I've found is we are all living with a set of priorities, a set of values. Would you agree that you have things that are more valuable to you and things that are less?

I have a high value on researching, writing and teaching and a very low value on cleaning, and cooking. That’s what my life demonstrates. This highest value can also be called the highest priority in life or highest value or the thing that is most important.

So would you agree that we all have things that are more important and less important in our lives?

Would you also agree that you have people in your life that are more important and less important to you?

Things that you could buy that are more important and less important?

Physical fitness activities that are more important and less important, some people love to have sex as their main way to increase their fitness. I'm just joking abit….

Social friends more important to less important?

We live by priority. This set or list of priorities people have we can call the hierarchy of values, because it's a hierarchy. You have a higher probability of doing the ones at the top then you do of the ones below, and whatever's highest on your value is whats called an intrinsic value and whatvers lower on the values is an extrinsic value…

Another way of saying that is whatever's "highest", you are spontaneously inspired to do from within, and a great example that John uses for this and that I also use because it relates to my childhood is a boy that loves to play video games..

Do you know somebody that just loves and lives for video games?

Would you agree that the boy who loves video games doesn't need to be reminded, motivated or incentivised to play his video games? Would you agree with that?

He is spontaneously inspired form within to play those games, but what about his homework, his chores, or cleaning his room? Would you agree he doesn't get up and say I'm so grateful for the opportunity and am inspired to clean my room…

They have a higher probability of playing the video games but as you go down into the lower values it requires outside extrinsic motivation to get him to act and anybody with children will know that it's highly likely that you slip to the lowest level of "motivation", called "punishment" if you don't do it and "reward" if you do do it…

Have you ever used that form of motivation to get somebody to do something, we sometimes do it in our intimate relationships don't we…

So the lowest level of motivation is punish and reward systems and the highest level is the calling, the inspired intrinsic value…

Can I share a quick story on this with you?

Dr John Demartini was recently in London giving a presentation and he was having lunch with a new client that he's consulting with, which is an 11year old girl who owns a fashion company. Her name is Hanalei Swan. She found out at a very young age, what her highest value was and started pursuing it..

Now, how's this relate to a young boy playing video games? 

When a young boy is playing video games and he loves his video games, he will eventually conquer the video game, it's just a matter of when. The second he conquers that game, how many of you know he's going to manipulate his parents and find some way of getting the next more advanced game? Would you agree? I know this was true for me growing up.

Now when he gets the next game, would you agree it's a more challenging game in some form?

Please take note. 

"Anybody who is doing what they value most, searches for challenges that inspire them." 

Now I want you to think of this…

Leaders are individuals who pursue challenges that inspire them, they're not shrinking from challenges, they're pursuing and trying to find challenges and problems to solve that's the difference between a leader and a follower…

Now would you agree that the boy goes out, tackles the next game, and the next time he finishes the next game what's his next step? Manipulate his parents again to do what? Find another challenging game, they thrive on tackling challenges that inspire them..

So it would be wise and to our advantage to ask ourselves, what is it that I really love to do that inspires me and what challenges and problems can we solve with that? That's a really important thing to build the brain and research has also shown the effects around preventing or slowing down the effects of dementia and alzheimer's by doing this..

Now imagine if I did everything for you, no matter what your problem was I took care of it. Do you think you would be the most creative, innovative, ingenious, adaptable and resilient person as a result of that or do you think that if you are over supported that you will become juvenile dependant?

How many of you have seen people that are spoiled and become a little brat?

But what do you find when you see people at a very young age tackling challenges, they become precociously independent, become entrepreneurs and they do amazing things right?

Like Hanalei who started her company at age 6, another client of John’s, a boy at just age 15 is a consultant and now charging $1800 US dollars for a consulting session…

So if you don't get up in the morning and fill your day with the highest priority things that inspire you, your day is going to fill up with low priority actions that don't and if you don't choose the challenges that inspire you and pursue them, your day fills up with challenges that are uninspiring as a feedback to let you know, your not being truly authentically inspired by what's most meaningful to you.

So knowing what you value most, is a very powerful and important component of mastering your life…

(If you would like a consultation to discover your values, contact me for a Free 15min strategy session)

Now what's interesting is that we are disciplined, reliable and focused in our highest values, but we procrastinate, hesitate, and frustrate when living in our lowest values. So when the boy is doing his homework or his chores that are less inspiring, because we are unfulfilled. Our unfulfillment makes us seek immediate gratification to compensate for the unfulfillment.

Now I really want you to grasp this. 

"Immediate gratification, compulsion, impulsive, addictive behaviours are a byproduct of unfulfilled highest values, so when people feel more meaningless they become more addictive."

Let me put this into context. Woud you agree that if you have a big event at the beach or a wedding, or maybe even a date where there's this hot girl or guy that you want to meet that you know you have incredible discipline either months, or weeks before that event not to pig out? Especially a few days before that event.

A great example of this is a woman getting ready for her own wedding. Whenever something is extremely important to you, you have something called the "Executive centre" in the brain that comes online, the blood glucose goes into the forebrain and we have inspired vision. Would you agree that a woman that’s about to get married can see in her mind's eye that white dress for example?

She’ll have strategic planning, she'll figure out a way how to get the weeding how she wants it, she'll execute the plan day and night, and she’ll have self governance. Those are the four executive centers that are most common, 

1) Inspired vision 

2) Strategic planning

3) Executing plans 

4) Self governance

And they found out that the executive centre has special nerve fibres going into the amygdala where we have impulse and instinct, pleasure and pain, seek and avoid and there's functions in the brain that allow you to calm those down and have discipline.

So we have incredible discipline to do that which is most meaningful, most inspiring as a spontaneous calling when we are pursuing what's most meaningful to us. And in fact if you look closely, whatever's your highest value, your life and identity revolves around.

So if you’re a mother with three beautiful children let's say under the age of 5 and somebody came up to you and asked "who are you?", tell me about yourself, you would most likely say I'm a mother, but if you're running a businesses and that's your highest value then you'll likely to say I'm a businessman or I'm an entrepreneur. Whatever your highest value is, your identity revolves around.

And whatever's lower on your values, you don't like to be associated with, so my lower values are say cooking or cleaning. If someone called out to me and said "Hey im looking for Ben the cleaner" or "I'm looking for a cleaner", that wouldn't even register with me, I wouldn't pick up on that, but if someone said "Hey i'm looking for that speaker Ben" or "I'm looking for that coach Ben", my senses and attention picks up to that because that's one way how I identify with myself.

"Your identity revolves around your highest value, your authenticity revolves around your highest value, your epistemology where you maximally learn revolves around your highest value."

Would you agree that if you took a teenager and asked them, "So how was school today? What did you learn at school today?" 

What do they say?

In a boring type of tone, "I don't know", "not much", "I can't remember". But if you go up to the boy who loves video games and you say tell me about the video game you're playing, can you show it to me, what would he do? He would come alive, active and talkative. 

We become "introverted" on our lower values and more "extroverted" on your highest, we come out of our shell. When we do something that is high on our values, our space and time horizons expand, when we do things low on our values we shrink and people that live by lower values, end up at the shrink…

Another way of explaining this is, can the boy spend hours and hours playing video games, and sometimes not even stop to eat? Yet feels when he's finished playing that game, the time went really fast. What about when that same boy is in his first two classes before first break in the morning, and he feels like those classes are taking ages to finish, constantly looking at the clock.

Is all this making sense?

So when you are living by highest values, you have the highest probability of achievement. Please take note of this. 

Anytime you're filling your day with high priority actions that inspire you, you raise your self worth, and every time you pursue something that is high on your values because your more likely to have discipline, reliability and focus, you're more likely to walk your talk and therefore your confidence and belief in yourself go up, and you end up saying in your head "I know", "I am", "I can".

When it's something low on your values you feel like “oh wow what a day” your confidence goes down, achievements go down and you hear in your head "I don't know", "I'm not", "I can't”

That's why if you ask the teenager about school, he says “I don't know, I can't tell you”, if it's not important to them. If it's important to them they say I know what to do, let me show you what to do in my video game. Does that all make sense?

So this all has something to do with living a limitless life. So can you see that if you pursue what's really meaningful to you, you have a much higher probability of living an inspired fulfilled life? Aristotel, called this highest value the "telos" and the telos means the end in mind, Napoleon Hill called it the "chief aim", Denis Waitley called it the magnificent obsession. The things that is most valuable to us, is the most inspiring and we go after it and we achieve it, therefore our confidence goes up, and self worth goes up.

Can you now see the power of this? 

So, one of the secrets to life is an old proverb you might of heard. 

"Be thyself, know thyself, love thyself."

So knowing yourself is knowing what you value most, that’s the highest priority.

There’s a book called the "One Thing by Gary Keller". The one thing is about identifying the highest priority action that will help you to fulfill the one thing or in this case the highest value. When you ask that one question every day, what's the one thing I can do today to maximise the fulfillment of my highest value, you will increase fulfilment and you attract opportunities and synchronicities, because when you are living by your highest value, your brain is illuminated.

I will explain it like this, would you agree that if a mother whose highest value was her children, that when she was walking through a mall she will spot childrens items, and if another person's highest value is business, they will spot business items in the mall.

Does that make sense?

So whatever is highest on your values, you spot opportunities, you make decisions quickly, and you take actions. Your values dictate your perceptions, decisions and actions, that's the only three things you have control over in your life. So when you actually live by your highest values, your perceptions, decisions and actions are magnetically attracted to opportunity and we call it synchronicity.

But by filling your day with high priority actions that inspire you, it doesn't fill up with low priority actions that don't. But the question is why isnt everybody doing that?

Have you ever heard the saying, we are immortal souls?

But why is it we don't have immortal goals? 

Look at it like this...

The factory worker typically lives day to day maybe week to week.

The supervisor lives week to week.

Lower management maybe week to week, month to month.

Middle management may go year to year.

Upper management go all the way to a decade.

CEO may think in terms of a generation.

The visionary may think in terms of a century like an Elon Musk, Richard Branson etc.

The sage may think in terms of a millenium.

The soul thinks in terms of eternity, immortal.

An immortal goal that lives beyond your life. So everytime you set a goal that is congruent, meaning aligned. Your space and time horizons grow…

Would you agree that when you achieve something you have a tendency and belief that you want to go and achieve something even greater? Your space and time horizons want to grow. So every time you live by congruent actions, and live by the highest value, you have the highest probability of expanding your achievement, moving toward a limitless life. 

But anytime we set a goal that is lower on our values and we shrink our space and time horizons, we create a limitfull life, a limit in space, a limit in time, a limit in resources, working against yourself…

But let me ask you this, have you had days where you had a full agenda and managed to get a lot done and felt very productive?

And have you also had days where there wasn't much on your agenda and weird stuff filled your day?

You know what the weird stuff is when you realise it? Other people projected values and expectations on you. 

Does that make sense?

Try practicing this statement! “Thankyou, but no thank you”

Now, would agree that everyone gets up in the morning and is dedicated to doing what they value, not you. Do you have a genie that when you wake up in the morning you can rub this magical lamp and everything is taken care of for you?

Would you agree, there is nobody in the world getting up in the morning wanting to dedicate their life to your fulfilment?

And if you're not dedicated to it, what's going to happen? It's very unlikely.

Would you agree that your parents mean well but they mean it through their values. They're projecting their values, what they think is great for you. Which may or may not be what yours are.

 Have you noticed that whatever the parents suppress, the children specialise in?

So whatever they're thinking is good and bad, may not match yours. In fact by the time you're a teenager, you go “Thanks mum il consider it”.

But the reality is, nobody's dedicating their life to you and especially not dedicating their life to fulfill your values. But everybody is projecting their life onto you

Now imagine that you're going through life and everybody is projecting onto you, and then you have the difficulty of saying no! But have you noticed that when you're really busy doing a high priority action, it's easy to say no to people that are asking for "distractions"?

When you have a really full day, it's easy to say no. But if you don't have a full day, you kind of give in to people's expectations. So that's why John would say..

"If you don't fill your day with high priority actions, it fills up with low priority distractions."

If you don't fill your day with challenges that inspire you, it fills up with challenges that don't, and the challenges that don't inspire you is called distress but the challenges that do inspire you is called eustress. Eustress is wellness promoting, distress is illness promoting..

So if we’re not filling our day and taking command, how do we expect to be a master of life, to create an awesome life? A master of life is an "executive centre" run individual who has an inspired vision, strategically plans it, executes the plans by priority, and governs themselves by not giving into distractions to the outside people that are supporters or challengers and not distracted by the impulses and instincts that occur, because you're unfulfilled and want immediate gratification.

Is all this making sense?

Ok great. Now, would you agree that teenagers when growing up explore and do things that they dont always tell their parents about? Perhaps you did that yourself?

Story time! Can I share another a quick story with you? 

There's a woman by the name of Ludovika Koch who was worth 15 plus million dollars at the age of 15, with her fashion line and modeling company. From age 9 she got clear about her mission and all the typical stuff that 9yr olds do, she wasn't interested in. 

Another girl Victoria Amaral. Same thing age 9, but the time she was 14 she had signed a 2.2million dollar contract with Disney to have her own tv show. Again she didn't do what the average kid did, she found out what her mission was, her highest value was prioritised each day and got on with it. Hanalei the girl I mentioned before, same thing, the 15 year old boy, same thing.

Now this is really interesting! On the flipside, when there are studies done on kids, Dr Demartini found that these are kids that are not inspired by what they do, they feel suppressed and repressed by parents authority, that feel unfulfilled and are distracting, looking for instant gratification to compensate for the unfulfilled life and then society turns around and labels these kids with ADD and ADHD, can you see that?

And we're making that the norm, and thats whats supposed to be the standard.

But if we look at the educational system and at least way back in 1913 to 1930s with the Rockefellers. They created an educational system in america, not for executives, not for leaders, but for drones that were workers, that worked in industry.

Would you agree that you didn't learn in elementary or high school anything about being an entrepreneur or how to be a leader, or how to be financially independent? You weren't taught how to think like that, you were taught what?

Get good grades, go to university, to get a good job, build your security and retire. Well how's that working for everybody in society? Is that truly fulfilling? Maybe to some people, but why is it addictive behaviours and instant gratification are through the roof? 

This comes about because people are unfulfilled.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

The majority of people wake up and ask "what school do I need to go to, to be important?" or "To be successful, what political group should I belong to?", "What religious group should I be in?", "What social cause should i attach to?"

Very few people get up in the morning and say…

"What educational system do i want to create?"

"What new spiritual movement do I want to found?"

"What international corporation do I want to create?"

Would you agree that's not how everybody thinks in the morning? They're more likely to subordinate. There's a great book by Ernest Becker on Conformity, and it shows why people conform.

Thousands of years ago, when we were out in the wild by ourselves or say as two people, (husband and wife) we didn't really do to well, but when we got together as a group, they could survive and the bigger the group the more they felt secure, and this is still hardwired in our brain as a survival mechanism. 

People have a survival yearning to fit in, but we also have a thrival system to stand out.

Why do you think we attach ourselves to wearable brands? Mac, Apple, Nike, Lorna Jane? We are expressing our uniqueness and want to stand out, and even if you don't wear brands, that's also another way of expressing your uniqueness.

But when it comes to truly standing out, it was Gandhi who said “First I'm ridiculed, then I'm violently opposed, and then eventually I'm accepted as self evident and true” and most people don't have the courage to walk through that doorway wear fear is on the other side, so they don't, they conform and live in what is often referred to as “living quiet lives of desperation”.

Are you finding this useful so far?

(If you would like a consultation to discover your values, contact me for a Free 15min strategy session)

Now let me ask you this, would you want to make a difference in the world, whether it be in your society, nation or globally? I truly believe that we all have a desire within us to express our authenticity and desire to make a difference.

But how are you going to make a difference, when you subordinate, conform and dilute yourself to the many instead of stand up, and stand out and fulfill your unique mission?

So as I transition into what I believe holds people back from taking action, would you also agree that fear is a big part of what holds people back?

It's been true for myself in the past "countless" times over.

What I've found is there are only "7 primary fears" that can hold you back.

Now there's a difference between fears and phobias, but for now I'm just going to cover the 7 primary fears…

1) The first fear is the fear of not being intelligent enough, not educated enough, not degreed or knowledgeable enough. Would you agree that in the past or present you have been intimidated by somebody else that you thought was more intelligent than you and you minimised yourself relative to somebody that had more education or more knowledge or seemed more intelligent?

2) The next fear is the fear of failure. You can actually be frightened about taking action because you didn't go into the executive centre and strategize the way of getting there. Now would you agree if you're living by your highest value, then your most knowledgeable about that because you know yourself? Have you ever noticed that you spontaneously want to learn about what is most valuable to you?

Now you might say, well my child definitely hates learning. I would say I would have to disagree. Give me 20 minutes with that child and I can find what they love to learn about, uninterrupted for hours upon hours. Some children just don't want to learn what's on the curriculum because they cant see how it's going to help them achieve their highest values at the time.

3) The third fear is the fear of loss of money or not making money. Would you agree that you have perhaps held yourself back because youve had that fear? Would you also agree that you have had all three of those fears?

"I fear like I might not make money or lose money, which means I'd feel like a failure and then I feel stupid."

4) The next fear is the fear of loss or respect from loved ones. I've seen this a lot in when I was living in Asia. Not only religiously but culturally, and although this isnt only confied to Asia but I tend to see it more that children live their lives and into adulthood to please the parents or family and fear letting them down so they never follow what is truly most important to them, and it leads them into a life of instant gratifying behavior and unrealistic expectations from parents or society on them. Now when living like this would their self worth go up or down?

Story Time! I’ve got to share another story with you is that ok?

John had a guy who came to one of his seminars called the breakthrough experience. He was overweight, he had just had a heart attack, he was suicidally depressed, almost took his life, his wife left him, he went bankrupt and he had tax consequences that he couldn't pay. So he felt stupid, he felt like a failure, he felt he had financial problems, relationship problems, he didn't want to be around people and was completely uninspired and angry. 

So in all areas he was down.

John worked with this guy until 2 in the morning because he was committed to helping this man breakthrough these challenges, and he said to this man “This is the greatest day of your life” can you imagine that, I'm sure the guy wanted to hit him, but this man said to John, "How can you tell me this is the greatest day of my life when all of this stuff is happening?"

And John said to him, "there was no way that you could have gotten yourself into that situation if you were pursuing that which was highest on your value, so somehow you were following a career that was inspiring to you", and he looked at John for a few seconds and said “Yes” and then John kept probing, going deeper. Together they found out that this man believed his father didn't love him, and he had spent most of his life trying to get his father's affection and everything he assumed his father wanted, he tried to do. So he pursued law, he married the woman that his dad had authorised, he did everything other than what "he" truly was.

So he's in a career that's uninspiring, a relationship that’s uninspiring but he continued to ignore the feedback that life was trying to give him, to get him to live true to his highest values. 

So John said to him, you got out of a job that you're uninspired by, the man goes “good point”.

John continued by saying, "You had no money, and your wife left you, that you didn't want to be with, and you didn't have to pay her anything". This guy said “keep talking” with a smile on his face now.

"You no longer have to hang out with the people you don't want to be with", he asked this man, "what is it that you would really love to do,that's truly always been there but you've been suppressing?" and this man said…

“What I really, really, really, really want to do is fix up classic cars and sell those and have a classic car dealership, and he started to get a tear in his eye, and he said that's what I've wanted to do ever since I was a kid!" Two in the morning, this guy starts to cry, with John's arm around him he says 

“Listen, if you don't give yourself permission to be yourself, no one else will either, you have to have the courage to walk the path of your own path."

This man when he left the breakthrough experience was grateful, for everyone of these things that happened. He went to Florida, worked toward having a classic car business and started it and built it. Dropped weight. That was his protection about being with somebody he didn't want to be with. That man's life dramatically changed.

Anytime you consistently try living into someone else values, you'll kill yourself.

Philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson said“Envy is ignorance and imitation is suicide”but most people live in conformity, and lose their identity trying to fit in, instead of having the courage to stand out..

Does all that make sense?

5) The next fear is social rejection, the fear of rejection. Have you ever had the fear of rejection. What about the fear of public speaking? Again would you agree that's one of the biggest fears that people have?

What I've found out is, the fear of public speaking is not the fear of speaking. You have fear of speaking in front of someone that you think has something more in any of the seven areas of life that you don't, because as long as you're too humble to admit that whatever you see in others is inside you, you're going to subordinate to them and fear their opinion because you're giving power to their opinion.

Donald Trump doesn't have that problem does he?! haha.

6) The next fear is the fear of ill health, disease, or not being attractive enough. Would you agree that you may have felt less attractive and perhaps feel like you can't compete?

Let's say you're a woman walking through a mall and you believe yourself to be like a 7 out of 10 and walk through the mall and there's a bunch of 5's around, maybe a couple of 4's and you're thinking to yourself, "I've got it", "I'm attractive". Do you get what I'm saying?

And then all of a sudden, a 10 walks in and stands next to you, what do you do, all of a sudden you have this response "because you just compared yourself to others."

If you look down on them, you exaggerate yourself with pride, that's not you. If you look up to them, you minimise yourself in shame and that's not you….

Now get this, this is really important. 

If whatever you see inside them, is inside you then you be yourself. Reflective awareness is the highest awareness where the "seeing the seer, the seen is the same", you're not to humble your not to proud.

So what they found is when you’re resenting somebody, they’re reminding you of something you're too proud to admit you have what they have and it's bringing that out.

Thats why you're resenting them, and on the flipside when you're admiring somebody it's because you're too humble to admit what you see in them is inside of you, but you have it inside but you don't want to admit it, you're too humble to admit it but the truth is you have it, in some form in the seven areas of your life!

So that means if you see somebody that's extraordinary and you admire that, it's because you have that but you haven't honored it and you've limited yourself because you've just disowned part of yourself. Do you get what im saying here?

So we can distort our view of our own body, because we compare. That's why we aren't here to compare ourselves to others because that's guaranteed to create prides, and shames. We are here to compare our daily actions to our own highest values, that's our focus.

7) And the last fear is the fear breaking the moral and ethics of some spiritual authority that you've given power to.

That completes the seven fears. 

Now would you agree that the more of those 7 fears you have, the higher probability of you not living a limitless life? That's why im here and want to show you how to, whether it be in my seminars to come or one on one consulting.

Has this been helpful so far?

Now, let me ask if you have ever been infatuated with somebody before? The moment we look up to somebody, we tend to inject their values into our life and try to live outside our own into theirs. 

Have you ever, within the first few weeks of a relationship realise that you did some weird shit?...Weird things to be with them, and then a few weeks or for some of you a few months went by and you went back to being yourself and then you went to the other extreme and said well it's my way or the highway and you look down on them, raise yourself up into pride and say if you're not going to do this this and this then we're over!

So when you're infatuated you want to "change you" relative to others, and when you're resentful you want to "change others" relative to you. But what happens when you're not putting people on pedestals or in pits? When you love them for who they are, they become who you love.

Would agree that you just want to be loved and appreciated for who you are?

As I kind of wrap up here…

As I've been living through my 20's and delving into personal development and expanding myself, I noticed that at the start of my growth, at times I found it harder to live in society. I would often get people as I now know "projecting" on me and telling me do this, do that, this is wrong that's right and it wasn't until one day I heard a quote from Nobel prize winner that said “It's not that we know so much, we know so much that isn't so” and we go around just parroting and saying things without actually thinking about things.

Everytime you subordinate to another human being and inject their values into your life, you cloud the clarity of your mission and what you would love your life to be, your highest value. 

Because anytime you try to live outside your highest values, you set up fantasies and anytime you have a fantasy your brain sets up a phobia and a self depreciating response to let you know that you're pursuing something that's not really true.

I hope this e-book / article has been insightful for you!

If you would like to keep in touch or would like some help in any areas of your life by all means reach out to me here and book a free strategy call. 

Also if I may just finish with this, and this isn't me putting counselors or therapists down. 

What I have found and observed is that traditional therapy quite often has the client replay the same story over and over each time, keeping them as a victim in their memories. 

With the process I take them through which is the Demarini Method.

So please if you have friends or family struggling with depression, grief, guilt, shame or struggling in relationships please send them my way, and on the flipside, if you feel lost, confused, or want help in empowering all seven areas of your life, live an inspired life and looking for some help in identifying your values then also please come see me.