Why I hit the career PAUSE button ?? ??

As I cleaned my dusty and neglected home office yesterday preparing to start an exciting new adventure at Alation next week, I reflected on a 14-month career break that has brought me health, happiness, and an overwhelming sense of gratitude.

Like so many, my family and I faced unprecedented challenges in 2020/21. After celebrating the birth of my youngest daughter in April 2020, we waded through the on-again/off-again Melbourne lockdowns.?

By March 2021, we'd spent 159 days combined (later to rise to 263) in confinement, when I received news from back home in the UK that my mother's fight against esophageal cancer was coming to a sudden end, despite having previously been in remission.

Without hesitation, my wife and I agreed that I should go and I secured an international travel exemption on the third attempt and headed straight into another lockdown back in England.?

My father and I brought my mother out of hospice care to spend her remaining days with us at home, and we navigated a surreal and ultimately gruesome three months of reminiscing, Scrabble, and lots of tears as we watched her slowly slip away.

Throughout her life, my mother suffered from depression, alcoholism and unresolved trauma stemming from the suicides of her father and 2 brothers, events so tragic I can’t even comprehend their impact. She never came to terms with her past and ultimately died consumed by loss and regret, but her suffering now acts as a constant reminder for me to live life to the fullest.

After she passed came the news that funerals were not being permitted in the UK so with a broken heart, I flew back to Australia to be reunited with my wife and daughters, but not before spending 14 days locked in hotel quarantine, a perverse setting for private mourning.

The next six months saw me struggle with my grief, with work becoming an unhealthy refuge. I closed a lot of deals and earned sizable commissions, but at a heavy cost. First, I lost sleep, then my waistline, and finally, the anxiety and panic attacks set in. It was time to hit the PAUSE button.

I realised that you can't pour from an empty cup and in November 2021, I tendered my resignation and jumped into the professional abyss.

After a few weeks of sleeping late and adjusting to my new life of leisure, it became apparent that I'd need routine and projects to ward off the existential angst. Luckily, my two and four-year-old daughters were more than happy to issue me my new duties as Chief Pancake Officer and Duplo Technician.?

Pancakes turned to french toast and before I knew it, I had mastered "canotto" pizza dough, New York bagels, and finally, croissant lamination, which earned me the dubious title of resident "dough man" (I suspect largely connected to the aforementioned waistline expansion).

Then, we began spending more time in our garden, starting with pruning hedges and trees before things quickly escalated to nine garden beds yielding an abundance of fresh produce ranging from blueberries to watermelons and jalapenos to zucchini. Our girls foraged for their own snacks, played with worms, and, more importantly, built what I hope will be a lifelong connection with where their food comes from.

I then set about offsetting my growing carb surplus. The gardening helped but wasn't enough, so I started running again. I started with light jogs, which soon turned into 5km parkruns, and then local KOM chasing on Strava. By August, I had signed up for an Ironman triathlon and I'm now training 10 hours a week and loving it. It's amazing what you can achieve when you just put one foot in front of the other.

The rest of my year off has been filled with impromptu weekday family outings, some stock trading to keep the coffers filled, and a lot of quality time with the people I love. I can now happily say that my cup is overflowing, and perhaps the only thing missing was the mental rigour that has kept me in sales for close to 20 years. So now, I'm ready to hit the PLAY button again.

As I gear up for my new role, I feel confident, energised, and grateful that I had both the financial means and emotional support to take a break. I've learned that it's okay to hit pause, take a step back, and focus on your well-being. It's not selfish, it's necessary. And, in doing so, you can come back stronger, with a renewed sense of purpose and a deeper understanding of what truly matters in life. As my former and soon-to-be current manager, Eyal Mekler would say, "family comes first".

If you've taken a break in your career, I would love to hear about your experience in the comments.

What did you learn during your time off, and how did it impact your return to work? And if you're considering taking a break, what's holding you back? Let's start a conversation and support each other in prioritising our mental health and well-being.

#CareerBreak #MentalHealth #Wellness #SelfCare #WorkLifeBalance #Grief #Gratitude