Why I Hid My Pregnancy from Clients

And - In the wake of overturning Roe vs Wade: Why we should all consider supporting pregnant women & mothers AFTER birth in addition to supporting life before birth.

As a business owner in the intense world of real estate and construction consulting, I'm ALWAYS thinking about how my clients and industry partners might react to anything personal that effects my work. I consider the optics of even saying I'm taking a vacation...so imagine all the mental hoops I jumped through in considering how/when I would announce my pregnancy!

Since we've been trying for years, I've been wanting to scream "We're Gonna Have A Baby!!!" from the mountains but instead,?I've held back for fear that I'd see the referral calls dwindle or that clients would become concerned about my focus on their projects. And I'm not alone in that very justified fear.

Working women face this everyday - whether in the food service industry with poor benefits or as a busy middle manager or high pressured executive..... how will my boss and & coworkers react? Will I stop getting invited to the important meetings? Will I be passed up for a promotion or raise until they see "if I'm still dedicated"? Not to mention having to consider the PTO policies and how many sick days I have left to use for doctor appointments or days when I just can't hold down my lunch?

Luckily, I've not had to contend with the PTO policies because I make them up.....but that has not relived the concerns around building a strong team that clients trust and a pipeline healthy enough to handle any potential dwindling of leads to keep everyone on my team employed.

Our fertility journey has been nothing short of stressful AND amazing - with all its challenges, we are closer than ever as a couple which we will need as we become parents. It has also opened my eyes to the hidden & unspoken work behind having babies later in life - I'll be 40 when Amelia Maeve is born this December.

Now that I've been through IVF I'm deeply grateful for science, love, my support network and for having had the chance to CHOOSE to be parents....even & especially at my 'advanced maternal age'.

In leaning on my support network, I now recognize more clearly how many men & women DON'T have the privilege of great support. They are isolated through their life circumstances and don't have the same opportunities I've had. Many women also lack the financial freedom and autonomy that I am lucky to have built for myself. There are many life circumstances that create hardships and challenges that aren't easy to overcome - its NOT about just working harder....Its also about being in the right state mentally, emotionally and physically to see, find and take advantage of opportunities. Its also about knowing that when you do ask for help, there are resources available to you.

So... 'What about it'? You may ask.....

Well, the overturning of Roe vs Wade is going to have MASSIVE impacts on our society and regardless of what side of the opinion you hold - we need to come together more than ever to support the men, women and babies that are going to be facing significant life changes in the years to come. There will be less abortions and thus, MORE humans on our planet. That doesn't mean those babies will have good homes or parents either so there is a lot that we need to work on to accommodate this change.

Companies need to reassess HR policies around PTO during pregnancy, maternity/paternity leave, childcare & education, mental health support and equal & more substantial pay for the work being done as there are more mouths to feed and bodies to clothe.

Communities need to think about housing more bodies as those added babies grow up. Community centers that support single parents need more financial resources to increase their outreach & service.

Churches, fire stations, foster care & adoption centers need to increase capacities to handle the changing demands they will see in the years ahead.

Individuals & families should now consider adopting and fostering kids that need loving & stable homes - ESPECIALLY if you were in support of the Roe vs. Wade policy change.

In short - As a society we need to do a better job at supporting life after birth for all. And since we are all thinking about pregnancy, no better time than now to reveal my secret - and deal with whatever my clients and referral sources may feel.

If you're reading this - I'd really like to hear your honest thoughts about what changes now in terms of our business together and your perspective on all that is shifting in work/life balance and family planning.

If you're a woman, what was it like for you to reveal your big news at work?

-Maureen Mascaro, Founder & Chief Project Officer, The Common Area