Why I have Queen Elizabeth II's Pictures on Half My Walls

People who have visited my home have often been bemused to see pictures of a figure adorning half the walls. With the exception of a black-and-white poster of Marilyn Monroe I’ve had forever, there isn’t a photograph of anyone else in my apartment. That person is Queen Elizabeth II.

I have never explained to anyone in my life why that is, but, on the passing of Her Majesty, for the first time I will.

When I was a child, both my mother and father were usually, let’s just say, distracted by other matters. For all the laudable efforts they expended on raising me and my siblings, they were not able to provide the affection that offspring deserve, need and crave.

I would therefore fantasise the Queen would take me away and be my mother. Not only would she provide me with the kindness and warmth she exuded whenever I saw her picture on a wall or on a reel on the television, but she would pull me away from the drab, miserable place that was inner-Bradford of the 1970s and 80s to her glamorous existence.

I was always aware it was just that, a fantasy, and was more than cognisant of the fact that for me to even get within a hundred metres of the Queen would be unlikely. Therefore, ever the rationalist, since I was a teenager I have used my fondness for her in the most beneficial ways possible: to inspire, motivate and guide me.

Throughout my life I have tried to ape my monarch’s remarkable abilities: her discipline, her work ethic, her ability to keep going when things around her were falling apart, her respect for others, and many others.

I have, of course, fallen dismally short. She was in a completely different stratosphere. But, having her looking over me when I’m watching television or on my computer has very often encouraged me to press the ‘off’ button on my remote control when I’m wasting my time watching yet another episode of ‘Who Wants to be a Millionaire?’ or go back to the Excel spreadsheets for my businesses on my PC when I’m idling about on the BBC News website or here on LinkedIn.

Seeing how a fascination-cum-obsession with characters from politics, sports, music, even animals, significantly distract most people around me from their potential, I have always consciously tried to keep my fondness for the Queen and her progeny in check and stop it from sidetracking me too much. For instance, even though I have spent the last 30 years living at furthest about three miles from Buckingham Palace, I have never once taken time away from my responsibilities and goals to try to see the Queen or any of the Royals while they have been attending events in London.

Now she is no longer with us, I have been regretting being a bit too disciplined in that regard. But, ultimately, I have always been of the opinion it’s better to err on the side of duty and responsibility. Queen Elizabeth II herself set the standard for that.

While I never went to try to see the Queen up close and personal, I was, at least blessed to see her twice in my life, in all her resplendency on the balcony of Buckingham Palace on her Golden and Platinum Jubilees.

Since her passing away on Thursday, I have been down in the dumps. I have hardly eaten a thing in the last three days. I have done no work other than critical tasks. It’s hard to focus when the person you cherished the most in this world has died. To paraphrase W. H. Auden, she was my north, my south, my east and my west.

But, as I type this with two different images of my north star shining down upon me from two walls, I have resolved to give myself a shake and return to the old Nadeem; he’s the one who has been guided by his leader since the day he was born that, no matter how low one feels, one has to live one’s life with discipline and purpose.

Because, ultimately, our time in this world is preciously short. Soon, we will all be in a coffin.