Why I don't wanna be on Zoom anymore...

As I was starting to write this email this morning there was a voice in the back of my head that said: "You should not be talking about this! You've invested so much into your brand and image in the last 2 years and this might make it all go away..."

I did get a lot of meaningful replies to this, so I decided that I need to share this also here on LinkedIn because I believe it would be out of alignment with my values, if I didn't share honestly...

You might have read the subject line of this email (Why I don't wanna be on Zoom anymore...) and thought: "But Jan is always on Zoom! I think he might be the one who is one Zoom the most! His whole business has been built by being on Zoom! What's going on?"

As I was writing a couple of emails for my upcoming Virtual Facilitator Training last week I noticed that I lost a bit of my spark.

I was so focused on creating content, for the sake of creating, but it felt like I was putting a lot of expectations into this being transactional: I will share some of my favourite Ice Melters and in exchange you sign up for one of my workshops or trainings.

For some, this might be the way they run their business, but for me it felt a bit weird.

The whole reason why I started my business and why I created my Ask Deep Questions cards is because I felt that I didn't really know the people that I surrounded myself with.

When I attended parties and events we would talk about the weather, sports, and other small talk. And I wasn't sure why I felt so drained after those interactions.

It wasn't until I had some of the most vulnerable conversations with a group of strangers that later became some of my closest friends at a personal growth retreat.

After that, I made it my mission to re-engineer how I was able to feel such a strong sense of belonging around these people - just 48 hours after we had met.

I knew that if I can recreate those types of "magical moments" that make people feel seen, heard and understood, it would have a huge impact on beating loneliness.

The truth was, that I felt lonely, even though I was surrounded by people because we didn't REALLY get to know each other under the surface.

The last month was a bit of a whirlwind where I spent a lot of quality time with friends I hadn't seen since before the pandemic in Portland during my favourite conference. In that week I received more hugs than ever before, had more deep conversations than ever before and felt more seen as ever before.

It was truly life-changing.

Then, when I returned back to Germany (where I moved with my family in January 2022) I went straight into isolation for 5 days before moving into a new apartment.

Those couple of days I felt a huge withdrawal from all the deep connection I experienced the week before and my journal became my closest friend (plus the friends that kept sending me messages from the other side of the globe).

I spent some more time reflecting on all of this over the last few days and realized:

I love spending time with people in person so much...

• So does that mean that the whole business I built on helping people connect online is not valuable anymore?
• Does everyone else also associate being on Zoom with being in lockdown again?
• Is everyone else so zoomed out, that at the end of your workday all you want to do is leave your desk and spend time outside?

With the rising Covid numbers in the last month I think a lot of people (including myself)?realized that the pandemic is not over yet - although believe me - I am so over it.

My mission is to help people feel less alone.

Now, more than ever, there are a lot of people that are craving more human connection.

But when we get on a Zoom call we all pretend that everything is fine.

Just look at your social media feed. Everyone is having a great time!

And under the surface?

We don't really know.

By myself I can only do so much. I can ask my friends: "How are you REALLY doing?", "What feelings are present for you today?" and share honestly how things are challenging for me, too.

I don't have it all figured out, but I know that I can't give up.

And I cannot do this by myself.

The biggest impact I can have if I share what I am learning, if I share what works to help us stay connected while being apart.

So, how can you help?

1. First if all,?let me know if this resonated with you?(I need to know I am not alone in this).
2. Then,?check in with your family, friends and colleagues. I have a feeling a lot of us are ignoring what's happening out in the world and that's going to add up if we don't have the space and time to talk about it.
3. If you are ready to step up as a leader (aka Deep Connector) and help facilitate deep connections for your community, your team or students, then?check out some of the resources on my website or leave a comment how I can help.

Thank you for reading.

Just knowing that you're still here with me fills me with gratitude.

You're awesome!

Jan?

PS: What's the first rule of fight club? We don't talk about fight club. But everyone is fighting against their own struggles. It's time that we talk about that and realize we're not alone.