Why I don't have work-life balance.

Am I?successfully finishing all the tasks at work? No. Am I having a great time with my friends or doing things I like? Also no. But do I at least manage a healthy work-life balance? Nope, not at all.

I’m exaggerating of course. A bit. If you’re interested in my analysis of true meaning behind “work-life balance”, and how I approach it, continue reading!

V: Hey Vicks, welcome back! So on a scale of 1-5 (5 being the maximum), how many points would you give to your work-life balance now?

v: 2?

V: Wow, that’s not much. I assume you’re gonna share then everything that you do wrong?

v: Haha, maybe I should, yes. But even though it’s not the best in my life right now, I think I am capable of managing it.

V: I’m eager to hear more. Tell us, what does this even mean to you?

v: First of all, I never liked splitting life into work & life. Is work not life too? Shouldn’t you like and take care of all parts of your life? And are there really only two parts? In reality you are actually balancing a lot more. Do I stay in and take care of myself, or do I go out with my friends? Do I spend more time with my family, or do I sign up for volunteering?

V: I get the point, but you mentioned those “life” parts, that we oftentimes feel we don’t have time for because we have to work.

v: Well yes, we kind of have to work. But since it is there, I prefer to make it a part of my life too. And then, I make choices, I make plans.

V: Plans?

v: Yes, I know it might not be for everyone, I am quite an organized person. Don’t imagine it as a strict plan though. Basically I set some realistic goals for the week/day ahead. The list of activities and to do lists are endless, no matter if we talk about work or free time. There is always something more to do and I can get so overwhelmed by the endless lists, emails in my inbox, meetings, that sometimes I am paralyzed to start even a small thing and I just stare blankly on my screen. When I pick few, important things, that I want to do, and then I do them, it gives me a sense of accomplishment. Usually that motivates me to do more, I get into flow and I just handle one thing after another. Sometimes, on the other hand, I don’t do anything because I cannot get unstuck, and that’s ok too.

V: Do you plan also time with your friends and family?

v: Kind of, yeah. I know it sounds weird, but I value my “me time” a lot. I need time with myself and for myself, when I can just decompress. So I plan in a way, that I don’t commit myself to too many social events, for example when I am on a business trip during the week, I don’t plan anything for the weekend. I am not afraid to cancel meet with a friend when I really don’t feel like talking with anyone. But I also try to reach out and be with people I love on a regular basis, because they put me in a good mood, and make my life meaningful.?

V: And what about hobbies? How do you make time for that?

v: My favorite hobby is to eat, and you have to eat every day right? So it’s easy. I don’t really have one particular hobby that I need to make time for. But I suppose when it’s hobby you just do it naturally because it brings you joy. In my free time I like to have the freedom to do what I want to do in that moment. Maybe because I plan too much in other parts of my life. So I do what brings me joy at that particular time: gym, book, writing a newsletter, laying on the sofa.

V: You seem to have everything figured out, so why did you rate your balance only a 2?

v: Because knowing what you want to do, and doing it are two completely different things. Right now I am really struggling to setup my activities in a way that suits me. I take is as a period in my life. Sometimes it comes easily, other times nothing seems to work. External conditions change over time, and you need to adjust. I feel life is a constant fight for just the right balance of everything. Yet in the end, it’s you making the choices and adjustments.

Tips from Vicks

If you’re now thinking about what other choice or adjustment you can make, here are some ideas.

Exercise – overwhelmed with too many options? Yoga, weight lifting, swimming, biking, running, Tai Chi, Zumba… Just follow your heart and do what you like. You’ll find your motivation easier when you do something you actually enjoy.

Food – ?watch how many calories you drink. Milk in coffee? Macchiato with caramel syrup? Sweet drinks? Juices? Rum? Beer? I am not saying you cannot have any of these, but if you think you’re not eating much and still gaining weight, maybe it’s time to make some adjustments to your “drinking habits”.

Mindfulness – stop at least once a day, and notice what is around you. Name it. Chair, coffee mug, charger, plant, tree, clouds.

Work – my favorite Pareto principle, or 80-20 rule. 20% of your efforts make 80% of the results. Identify those 20%.

Finance – save 10-20% of your monthly income. I know, you all know it. But do you do it every month?

Woman of the month – Izabela Textoris. She was the first Slovak botanist, processed unusual types of plants and flowers and discovered a new species of thistle. She taught herself six languages so that she could exchange plants and knowledge with colleagues from abroad. And I am dying to see her herbarium Herbarium Textoris, which contains approximately 5,000 items, is stored here in Bratislava. I honestly cannot explain why after reading about hundreds of amazing women by now, this one stayed with me. I feel like I could be friends with her. Or be her.

Book of the month – Milan Kundera: Identity. Is Unbearable lightness of being one of my favorite books ever? Yes. But I have been thinking for a while about how you find closeness in a relationship at the expense of losing yourself, your identity. This book gave me some perspective to that, quoting from Wikipedia: “… identity not as an autonomous entity but something integral shaped by the identities of others and their relations to your own.”

Intention for the next month – Be kind to yourself.

Dance song of the month – I am not exaggerating when I say I danced to this song over 50 times in the past weeks.