Why I Decided To Stop Drinking - And How I Did It

UPDATE ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

January 12, 2023:

I will likely re-post this post every year or so around the new year as many people do dry January, etc., and I'd like to help encourage people if they need it.

This has been one of the most popular / high-engagement articles that I've written, so I thought I'd do a quick update on some things that I've noticed over the past year.

This year, I've had a few more friends who have completely quit drinking, and they tend to share how they did it and how they are feeling now, and even what they drink instead.

I mentioned a few of my favourite non alcoholic drinks in a LinkedIn post, and one of them was Partake Brewing - and when the founder saw it, he reached out and sent me a 6 pack! Very nice:

https://www.dhirubhai.net/posts/customsbrokers_when-you-post-about-non-alcoholic-beer-options-activity-6997006276308197376-xEXD?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_desktop

Another drink that I really enjoyed this summer was called Hoplark - it's a "Sparkling Hop Tea" - it's super refreshing and comes in a variety of flavours.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07WH3TNYS/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&th=1

In 2022, I found myself really reflecting on the number of articles, accidents, crimes, and violence, focused or blamed on alcohol. Perhaps the most public and most recent being Dana White and his wife slapping each other. "Dana White and Wife, Anne, in Drunken Nightclub Fight on ... "

His wife said "Nothing like this has ever happened before," she said. "Unfortunately, we were both drinking too much on New Year's Eve and things got out of control on both sides. We've talked this through as a family and apologized to each other."

I know that I've personally said or done the stupidest things in my life while drinking.

Maybe I'll just leave it at that for now!

G.

P.S. - I've received a ton of DM's on LinkedIn asking for help or support - and I'll always do my best to answer or encourage you if you're thinking of quitting. Message me anytime.

ORIGINAL POST -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't drink.

This post is not slamming drinking or people that do. I enjoyed my drinking time, didn't have a problem with it. I don't judge people who drink and I always have a stocked bar at my place! I just get asked a lot about my decision to quit drinking and thought I'd write about it.

I used to say "I haven't had a drink in xx days..." - but then I heard a quote from Tony Robbins that said:

"If you're counting the days of not doing something, you're not committed." - Tony Robbins

I get what he's saying - when you count the days of something - it means you're just on a current streak. It doesn't sound final. So I finally started saying "I don't drink."

Here's the backstory.

Every October, I would do "Ocsober" - or Sober for October - other people do dry January, etc., but I just liked the sound of Ocsober. I did that for probably 5-6 years. It's actually a challenging time to not drink because we have Canadian Thanksgiving as well as Halloween parties! So it was a fun challenge, something I used to do for myself and also do a gut-check - "Do I crave booze?" "Am I addicted?" - and I could easily do it for a month without even thinking about it.

Whenever Ocsober was over, I found myself thinking "What is drawing me back to this?" and I was also thinking "I've never woken up after a night of drinking and said 'I wish I had a bit MORE last night'... " Ha. I was having this internal dialogue about it more often.

My last drink was Wednesday, August 8, 2018 - about two weeks before my birthday.

We went to the Pearl Jam concert in Seattle - it was an amazing evening - open roof stadium, one of my favourte bands in the world - and we had a great evening. Typical concert evening - dinner, drinks, drinks at the stadium. The next day was a beautiful sunny day and I said hey my birthday is in a couple weeks, I'm just going to detox for a few weeks and then celebrate on my birthday.

Then my birthday came - August 25th - and I just didn't feel like it.

So then I thought ok can I keep going until my son's birthday in mid-September and I went for that.

Then I didn't drink on his birthday - didn't crave it, etc., - and I thought ok well I always do Ocsober so I can obviously wait until October because it's just 2 more weeks. And then I didn't drink for October.

Thought I'd maybe want to celebrate on Halloween - and then I thought hmm - I wonder if I can keep going - let's do November because well Christmas is coming and I'll obviously want a drink then... It became a fun game.

Sailed through November, and said ok a REAL challenge would be December - let's see how I feel. I even went to an ALL INCLUSIVE hotel with my favourite drink of Tequila - a whole bottle - waiting for me when I checked into my room over New Years. Still nope.

I figured that I made it all this way - I should go for a whole year - if I can make it through some of the biggest 'drinking' holidays, then January through August should be easy.

So from that point on when people asked (more about that later) - I would say "I'm just trying to challenge myself to go a year with no alcohol." - but because of that, the next question was always "Are you going to go back to drinking after that?" - I didn't have an answer. I was still counting the days. I said, "We'll see when I get there..."

This is also a really important lesson for me about setting goals and GETTING STARTED - it's literally one day, one week, one month, one quarter at a time - as someone once said "There is no perfect time - the time will pass anyway! Get going."

Some of my learnings on quitting drinking:

• You have to have thick skin! Many people will ask you why you don't drink. There's a saying "Alcohol is the only drug people shame you for not using." It's funny when you think about it. If you knew of a friend who had a cocaine habit and they quit, you'd never ask them "So, why did you quit? Do you think you'll do it again, like maybe on your birthday?" Ha. I feel really lucky that I was brought up in a household that taught me self confidence and how to avoid peer pressure.

• Get to know people who don't drink, find inspiration. One of my inspirations was San Batha - this is a guy whom you would want at any party, quick to laugh, high energy - and I remember when I found out he didn't drink - I was like "Ok maybe I won't be the boring guy that doesn't drink" - because that was actually something that crossed my mind! San was always really easy to talk to and I know he could be a confidant of sorts as I went through this journey. Thanks, San! It's fun to Google "Celebrities who don't drink" and be inspired... I figured that if Bradley Cooper, Rob Lowe, Brad Pitt, Zac Effron, Mackelmore, Warren Buffet, Larry Ellison, Kendrick Lamar, Gerard Butler, Pharell Williams, Tim McGraw, Colin Farrel, Chris Martin, 50 Cent, Dax Shepard and Eminem don't drink... I'm in pretty good company.?:-)
• Have a reason. It just makes it easier when someone asks you. For the most part, I think people want to know if you had a problem. I didn't have a problem, but I have friends who did and quit - just have a quick reason so you can move on to better conversation. I copied mine from San - it's just "It wasn't working for me." And that's how I feel.
• You will not get asked out for drinks as you once did. Let's face it, drinking is a part of our society - you go to lunch or dinner someone and what's the very first piece of information or question? "Today our drink specials are..." or "What can I get you to drink?" Some people will exclude you or change their behaviour of asking - but no worries.
• You'll save a lot of money! My wife and I go out for date night once per week and our bills are tiny compared to what they used to be. I remember some of the first dinners, I thought we had the wrong bill. I was like "Oh yeah, we didn't get that bottle of wine this time.." :-)
• There is really good non-alcoholic beer out there. I didn't want to drink 1% or .5% because I thought that cheating. I used to think non-alcoholic beer was just weird. But at the end of the summer this year, I heard about Heineken 0, which is 0% alcohol. I'm not really sure why I was looking for this. I think the summer reminds me of being on a patio or the water somewhere and I wanted something different than water or soda water. Cracking a Heineken 0 is super crispy and satisfying in the summer.
• You'll get way better sleeps. Wine can make you FALL asleep, but research shows it doesn't KEEP you asleep. Many people talk about waking up at 2:43 AM or whatever after having wine and not being able to get back to sleep. I sleep really well now and continue to track for 8 hours of sleep per night.
• Your brain and your mind never slow down! If you're already high energy and have lots of ideas - you may be shocked at how clear your thinking will get and how the flywheel in your mind will get spinning faster and faster. I found alcohol could make things foggy and sometimes it takes a day or more to recover from that.
• More people than I thought would reach out to me to ask how I did it. This was sort of but not completely a surprise - I've had a handful of people reach out to me who have considered quitting but just can't do it. Business pressure (liquid lunch), peer pressure, or they may have a bigger issue at hand (and I'll tell them to get professional help). I love talking with anyone who is thinking about quitting. And this is partly why I wrote this - because I get asked a lot.

In the end, it has been really easy for me to stop, and I enjoyed the challenge. I still take Uber's because I don't like to drive, but that's another thing my wife likes - we always have a real designated driver.

If you're ever looking for help or want to talk about it, message me!

Graham