Why was I crying in the doctor’s office?

Last week I experienced excruciating back pain. This happened to me over 10 years ago and had me down and out for several weeks.

By the third day of this pain, I knew I needed to take action and made an appointment with my doctor.?

As is seemingly normal when you visit your doctor in the middle of the day, there was a very long wait to be seen. I used that time to catch up on social media and emails.?

One of the emails was a very easy question to answer from one of my speaking colleagues. I quickly responded and went about my checking, posting and commenting, not giving a second thought to why he asked the question. When I reopened my email a couple of minutes later, I noticed a reply with a kind and completely unexpected invitation based on my answer.

That is when I started crying in the doctor's office.?

I sent him this reply and was surprised when I choked up. I let the tears fall for a few minutes.?

I wasn’t crying in the doctor's office because I was in pain. I was crying in the doctor's office because I felt seen.?

For many of us, that is all we want on a daily basis: to be seen.?

• We want to know that the work we are doing matters.?
• We want to make sure that the conversations we have are important.?
• We want to feel like we are making a contribution to the world.

Some days, in order to get this reassurance, we need to be reassured by others.

That’s what I felt as I sat waiting on the hard, plastic chair in the doctor’s office.?

In Chapter 13 of Let Her Out: Reclaim Who You Have Always Been, I write about one of the tallest barriers I've busted through: not feeling appreciated.?

At the time I wrote the book, I grasped that the lack of appreciation I felt in many areas of my life led to deep resentment. I was also self-aware enough to know that I am not a magician and cannot change other people, and the only way through the barrier was with my own actions and reactions. In order to overcome this barrier,?I had to accept that I was doing a great job in those areas of my life and give myself my own recognition. I also made it a point to be generous with gratitude and recognition of others, in order to make those around me feel seen.??

That’s what my colleague did for me in the message I received when I was sitting in the doctor’s office.

His generosity helped me feel seen.?

What is your relationship with being seen??

• Are you hiding in the back row hoping you aren’t called on??
• Are you jumping up and down waiting for the tap on the shoulder??

It’s okay to want to be seen AND it’s important to understand that it is up to you to manage your visibility. When you aren’t feeling seen, you have a choice to step up. When you are feeling seen, you have the opportunity to help others feel the same way.

What can you do today to help someone else feel seen?

Thank you for reading this article. I draw on my experiences as a coach, author and speaker, as well as my roles of wife, daughter, mother, sister and friend to create content on meaningful connections and living authentically. I recently documented my 6-month Quest to "Shed the Heavy" and invite you to subscribe and follow along as I continue my progress. Other work that might be of interest: 52 Weeks of Meaningful Connections and my bestselling book Let Her Out: Reclaim Who You Have Always Been.