Why I Chose A Homebirth

#SaluteourSisters #TriggerWarning (birth trauma discussed)

I gave birth to my second daughter, at home last month. My decision to birth at home was met with some scepticism by those around me, but after the trauma experienced surrounding my first pregnancy and birth, I chose to follow my intuition. I am sure many of you have heard of the 5x more statistic pertaining to maternal deaths amongst black women. This also impacted my decision. My faith in the system to support me this time round, was incredibly low.

In my first pregnancy in 2015, I was told by a consultant that if my daughter died, it would be on my head. This was after me declining to be induced early due to apparent growth restrictions revealed by a scan. I had another scan a week later which showed no restriction and revealed that an error had been made in the first scan.

When I went into labour, an emergency occurred which led to me having an emergency c section under general anaesthetic. I now question if that was even necessary. I was put to sleep and when I awoke, I had been left in a room alone. The clock said 9am and I had no clue if the baby had made it. I was taken to the ward at 11am and still not informed of the status of my baby. I had to borrow the phone of another patient to call my husband to discover that my daughter had survived and was in the NICU. Later that day the hospital staff tried to remove my daughter from the hospital and transfer her to a hospital 30 minutes away without my knowledge. I screamed on the ward until they agreed not to separate us. There were a range of other incidents but they were the most traumatic.

During this pregnancy my views on the system have not been improved. I was advised against a home birth by the consultant midwife who, one day after the death of my grandmother, asked me how I would feel if I had a bad outcome (dead baby). She proceeded to harass me to the point of me having to put in a complaint to the hospital. She didn’t provide balanced or evidence-based insights into my options. Instead, she tried to instil fear and use scaremongering tactics to force me to do what she wanted me to. I had conducted my own in depth research to understand my risks and actually was able to refute many of her claims with actual evidence based research. Additionally I hired a fantastic doula to support and help to advocate for me. Sallyann Beresford, owner of Birthability , was an amazing support and helped deepen my understanding of a physiological birth.

I stood my ground, hired a birth pool and was also supported by the home birth team from Birmingham Women's hospital. Between them, Sallyann and my husband, I had an amazing birth team, who helped support me over the two days I was in labour. I gave birth in a birth pool not long after my daughter went to school after witnessing my waters break (I doubt she will forget that).

I did it and it was amazing. I delivered my own baby with my husband by my side supporting and encouraging me. We had delayed cord clamping, immediate skin to skin and I delivered the placenta unaided shortly after. Everything I had prayed for, exactly how I wanted it to go. It wasn’t easy. I screamed, shouted, asked to be taken to Jamaica, begged for a rum and coke and at one point for a C section. But I did it and feel like an absolute Boss!

I wanted to share my experiences, because many women do not know their rights. Birthing has become incredibly medicalised and often the primary focus of the medical staff, is risk reduction for their setting. They will therefore try to scaremonger rather than try to create the best experience for you and your baby. Do your research and don't let anyone try to scare you into buying into their agenda.

I joined the homebirth UK Facebook group which was incredibly helpful in building my confidence to homebirth. I was able to read the stories of so many women giving birth at home and after c sections. It was also quite terrifying to read all of the experiences of mums to be, being coerced, threatened and bullied by the medical system. Women of different races, ages and backgrounds. It appears that this is a major issue.

I also didn't fail to notice that the vast majority of women in the group are almost exclusively white. Women of colour who are much more likely to have an adverse outcome in a hospital setting, are still putting all of their faith in a system which isn't designed to empower us. I therefore want to encourage women and in particular women of colour to question everything in regards to your pregnancy and labour. I also want to let you know that you can decline EVERYTHING. I had no internal examinations in labour because I chose not to. I declined late growth scans because the research shows they can be inaccurate. I refused to be induced because the research shows this increases the risk of interventions. I refused to have my baby at the hospital because research shows this increases the chances of interventions. You are in control of your body and whatever the medical community tells you that you Have to do, you don't have to do anything. You can have a homebirth and have an amazing experience if this is what you want to do. It is an option.

Women are amazing and we need to trust our bodies & our intuition.