"Why, I, as a black man, attend KKK rallies" is the TED Talk Everyone Should Watch Today

How close are you to “quitting social media” today?

Over the last few months, I have seen more friends/family members combat each other through social media than ever before. It’s as if our social media platforms have evolved into a digital arena where we work out our opinion while seeking to “cancel” anyone that disagrees with us.

Over the last three months, I’ve been more vocal in delivering my opinion on politics and racial tension. While I’m glad I’ve spoken out, I’ve been guilty in craving other parties to change their views to mine and say the words “you’re right” so much that I began to ignore skills I was taught when little - basic ones like listening, empathy and respect.

I understand that those soft skills tend to get thrown out the window when you intentionally/unintentionally cancel someone. I admit, also, it can get tough to bite your tongue when you’re questioning others on a subject that you feel like should be so clear - for example, why a president that retweets an explicit video that says “white power” is NOT racist.

This pursuit of me converting others to my POV definition on “what’s right” has led to many moments where I balled up my fist in frustration. This frustration typically ends in me wondering why that other person can’t understand what I’m saying and how can they be so blind to my definition of the “truth.” I mean, aren’t I the guy who made his career in presentations and communications?

I don’t doubt I’m alone in feeling this way either. You’re probably exhausted like I am, too, and have said the words “I want to delete all of my social media.”

While it’s easy to take a break from social media, this is a long fight of equality America is in, and it takes these social platforms to educate the masses and facilitate conversation.

This Sunday, I got recommended to watch a TED talk by Daryl Davis called “Why I, as a Black Man, Attend KKK tallies.”

Despite all odds, it’s an unlikely story that still somehow focuses on listening, empathy, and respect. Even as I write this, I struggled to understand how either side did not kill one another. Wouldn’t you want to harm the other person that thinks you’re inferior to them?

Daryl’s talk led me to realize something.

How often is there respect in debates nowadays on crucial issues without the bias that the person on the other side is worth listening to vs. talking to?

Today, we are quicker than ever to write off people whose ideologies politically, religiously, and or philosophically scare us. Fear tends to make us shut off - not listen - and want to control the situation with our version of reality.

We’re getting overwhelmed on opinions left and right flying, and it gets hard to formulate an opinion as a society now expects us to pick a side immediately. While I’m on the side that wants to see an equal world ran by leaders that have values related to mine, I admit I need more time to research and learn on how we can take action as a society to the individual - while understanding how we got here in the first place.

This marathon - not sprint - of learning only happens by listening first, speaking second.

Over the last three months, I’m seeing more leaders emerge via social media to respond to the challenges of the world today. As leadership isn’t defined by a formal role but the pursuit of a goal while moving others, I’m challenging the current and new generation of leaders, and myself, to listen and respect first before we drop our POV.

Tactically, this means before you shut someone down with an opinion, ask them a question. Questions that start with, “can you tell me more about X” vs. “why do you X” is an excellent place to start (exploratory vs. accusatory). The hard part is what follows - proceeding with listening, respect, and empathy.

I’m still fighting the feeling that if the other side can’t listen, respect, and be more empathetic to my point of view that they’re against me.

However, I’m convinced that if Daryl Davis can convince someone to turn around a KKK leader that embodies radically deep racial hate, we can. He chose to run the marathon vs. the sprint.