Why I Became a Self-Love Coach

What can we say about love? Well, as it turns out, we’re constantly bombarded with messages about love (who to love, how to love, how to get love, why we want love, or why we should be above all of that and go live alone in a cottage in the woods…).

I don’t think it would be an exaggeration to call myself a “love junkie” - although I should probably explain what I mean by that. Maybe we could all say that we’re addicted to love. But what does that really mean? “Addicted” has such a negative connotation.

You can be addicted to dysfunctional, toxic, or even abusive relationships. You can be addicted to pointless drama with your best friends. You can be addicted to attracting the wrong type of partner for you.

But really, when it comes down to it, love - receiving it, giving it, being “in” it - is an undeniable, biological need for our species. Full stop.

There’s so much debate right now in our society about relationships and what a healthy one looks like and how to show up in an intimate relationship or how to not be too needy/clingy/desperate or “too much.”

It can make you downright dizzy, all of this hoopla about love.

But I want to step out of the conversation about what a loving relationship between two people looks like, and talk about how I became obsessed with self-love.

Is Life What You Make It, or Is It What Happens to You?

The answer, I think, is both. You create your life out of the raw material it hands to you. I speak from experience on this.

My life has had its fair share of ups, downs, and detours.

I adored studying English Literature in college, but I also developed clinical depression under all that pressure to figure out who I was and what I wanted to do with my life.

I appreciated the academic rigor of studying religion in graduate school, but was devastated by the bipolar diagnosis that came with it.

I loved being in love and evolving as a person within each relationship I’ve had, but I was also crushed when each of my relationships came to an end.

I know I’m not unique in any of this. Life is a joyous, amazing, incredible, and sometimes horrifying experience for all of us. That’s just the nature of it. Now that I’m 40 years old, I’m grateful for what I’ve been through because it led me on the path to loving myself unconditionally - no matter what’s going in my life or how I think I’m measuring up to whatever standard I have in my head about what my life is supposed to look like at this point.

Self-Love to the Rescue

They say love is a verb, and that’s very true. I’ll add that self-love is a practice, or rather, a set of daily practices (plus some things that you don’t do as often, but are still important).

Self-love, for me, is:

• an attitude of compassion, kindness, and grace towards myself at all times
• forgiving myself when I’m not compassionate, kind, and gracious with myself at all times
• a decision to put myself first, even when it inconveniences others
• doing things every day that support my mental, physical, psychological, and spiritual wellbeing
• doing things I enjoy every day
• staying committed to my growth and evolution because I know I deserve to experience all that life has to offer
• the courage to pursue what I really want to do for a living (owning my own business as a life coach, author, speaker, retreat leader, and thought leader in the personal growth industry), instead of following someone else’s roadmap for success
• the willingness to risk “failure” (a.k.a., lessons) along the way to success because I know I’m worth it
• etc. etc.

I could keep going, but you get the idea. Self-love is the cornerstone, the foundation, of my life and all of my decision making.

As a result of putting myself first, prioritizing my needs, listening to and following my own inner nudges towards the life I want to live, I’m feeling excited and fulfilled, especially in my professional life (which is the area of life I’ve chosen to prioritize right now).

Because I’ve learned to love myself and make my desires my #1 priority in life, I’ve written and self-published my first book, started my coaching practice, and invested tens of thousands of dollars in my own personal growth (the dollar amount doesn’t really matter, the point is, I’ve been lucky to be able to invest lots of my energy into something that really matters to me). I’ve gotten to work one-on-one with one of my favorite authors and coaches in the industry. And best of all, I have a clear vision for my life and the faith that with the support of a benevolent universe, I can make it happen.

That level of personal growth is priceless. And I’m so grateful to be where I am, even though life has at times been very challenging. In fact, it’s a huge challenge right now, as I’m caregiving for my parents (more on that later). But my commitment to self-love makes life bearable, worth living, and also inspiring and exciting.

Self-Love Is For You Too

In fact, self-love is for everyone. When you love yourself - that is, when you make a commitment to fully accept and love yourself exactly as you are in every moment - your life will change. The change could be incremental, or immediate. But I promise you, your life will absolutely change for the better when you decide that you are important enough to be your #1 priority.

That’s why I became a self-love coach. Because I know firsthand the incredible transformation that comes from loving yourself unconditionally. And I’m committed to supporting as many people as possible to experience that transformation for themselves.

If you’d love to work together in a private coaching program that’s designed to meet your specific needs, reach out to me and let’s chat about my current offers and which one might be right for you. My coaching programs all take place over Telegram (the free text and voice messaging app). So there are no calls to schedule. Just me in your pocket, and in your corner, every day. Send me a message if you’d like to connect, even just to say “hi”. I’d love to hear from you!