Why I am proud of my wife.

Before she embarked on a second career as a registered/licensed veterinary technologist, Roberta had a modestly successful career in the fashion industry, specializing in overseas product production.?But in her working life she?never?aspired to lead a team or group, let alone an organization.?Her ambitions lie elsewhere, she had no appetite for what such a role might entail, and by no means did she feel qualified to undertake it.

So…

No one then was more surprised than me when she accepted the position to become President of?Congregation Beth Shalom.

I know, I know, it’s a volunteer role with a two-year tenure, but make no mistake about it, leading an engaged, progressive 200-family reform congregation and collaborating with its small but highly capable staff comes with very real and substantial responsibilities.?It seems a world away from a beginning that meant joining the congregation, deciding to convert, becoming a Bat Mitzvah, and serving on the synagogue’s board.?

Roberta certainly didn’t lobby or campaign for the job; she was recruited by CBS’ rabbi and one of its past presidents, who saw in her talent she doesn’t necessarily see in herself:?a way with people (open and engaging), skill in organizing (amazingly strong), an attention to detail (almost scary), dedication (unmatched), and capacity as a doer, not merely as a talker (without peer).

Does she focus on these strengths??She does not, choosing instead to highlight shortcomings.?“I’m not very good on my feet as a speaker,” she will say, “and I’m not a confident writer,” to which I reply, “You are more capable than you realize, and you will get better at both.”

I am sharing this in part as a proud spouse, but also because I have a point to make:?there will be moments of doubt where you feel you don’t have what it takes, assume others are better qualified, and worry you are unequal to the challenge before you.?

If you were to ask, I would reply that if an opportunity doesn’t feel scary, then it’s not?really?an opportunity; it’s a fallback, a retreat to the safe, the known, the boringly predictable.?A?real?opportunity is about embracing the possible, the uncertain, the unpredictable, even if the risk appears overwhelming.

Lacking skills to do the job??You give yourself permission to navigate the challenge, identifying, developing, and learning what you need, seeking others to complement your capabilities when the occasion calls for it.

With Roberta, there are many things of which I am proud – her commitment to family, her dedication to rescuing animals, her determination to seek a second chapter in her career – but this moment of leaping over her comfort zone behind is as notable as it is uncommon.?

She is rightly chastened by what is before her; will there be, “I can’t do this” moments??Probably. Lie-awake nights??Likely.?Instances of self-doubt??Absolutely. Everybody, I mean?everybody, has them.?Roberta will have them, but growth comes in many forms, and I am certain she will find her way through them.

All this said, Roberta?still?will tell you she is not worthy.?

I tell you she is.

A similar challenge awaits you?

I tell you the same.