Why I am Grateful
Don Barden, Ph.D.
Behavioral Economics "The Perfect Plan" & "Here Come the Girls - a Celebration of Why Women Will Take Over Global Leadership in 2028."
There seems to be a trend going around where people post various reasons for being grateful each day. I think this is a fabulous idea, but I find it curious why so many people focus on themselves, and not those who made the biggest impact on their own lives.
When you stop and think about it, words can’t express the true nature of gratefulness. Words can only tell a story we hope others can relate to.
We have tried for thousands of years to best express how we feel about life.
Many of these stories become folklore and fables, while others find themselves etched into the libraries of history.
These tales tend to target particular subject matters as a tool to express their meaning.
Many a particular person who is elevated to hero status so they might fight the dragons and save the damsels in distress. This helps us express why we, as a people, should be grateful for those who are here to save us, and maybe even motivate a few more to become heroes for a future not so far away.
Other times, we use historical events but add fictional characters to enhance the morality of the situation. This helps make it clear that someone must combat the evil enemy. From this, we must “always remember,” even if we have to spice the truth up a bit.
On those rare occasions, we actually tell the story as it was, because there really are people that change the world.
Some of these “truth stories” impact the entire world, but most of the time it is a small pebble landing in an even smaller sea of humanity. Most go unnoticed except by those who felt its ripple, but the impact is just the same.
Lives are changed.
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Everyone enjoys the big picture moments. They draw us closer and makes us feel a part of something greater than ourselves. Sometimes it is the feeling of saying “I was there when…” or better yet, “I knew someone who…”
Either way, by creating a big picture memory, it creates a story we feel compelled tell.
As we look deeper into what it takes to be a hero, it seems logical to start at the top of the hero hierarchy with those who had the biggest impact on humanity. The heroes who represented the “largest stone to hit the water” – the one that made the biggest ripple.
Yet is seems that those who impacted the most people at the time, actually have the least long term affect for change. While they might momentarily “save civilization” by killing the dragon or ending the war, the people who are saved have a history of regressing back to their previous routines. There they begin a new cycle waiting for another hero to save them once again – selfishly always for themselves. They know the dragons will return.
Here is something fascinating to consider: the heroes who have the tiniest initial impact – the heroes who make the smallest ripple in the sea of humanity – might actually be the most important.
It is the smallest heroes who create the longest impression on history and the seeds planted from their actions grow to make the biggest impact on the greatest number of people.
These are the real heroes, those who affect the most people, yet in the smallest way. They are the ones who actually changed the world for the better. Yet there is rarely any fanfare or celebration for their deeds. Most go unnoticed in terms of historical celebrity status other than those in their immediate circle, but when history does take a moment and stumble on their story, that is when it gets interesting.
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As we look at to the past and discover what makes heroes so special, the natural progression is to look at the size of their impact and the ripple affect they had at the moment. Those who made the biggest ripples and secured themselves in history’s “Hero’s Hall of Fame”, but those who accomplished the smallest of actions fell without notice.
To look at the smallest of heroes, we discovered there was more to their story.
Deep inside of these heroes, when they removed their armor, they exposed what a real hero is all about.
It was not strength or skill.
It was not fearlessness or inherent leadership.
It was better than anyone could have imagined.
The heroes who were the best, who changed individual lives and over generations ultimately the world itself, had something that the rest of history chooses to leave behind.
When humanity turns away in fear of failure, these heroes charge ahead. They embrace their unique ability to change people, and over the long term, save the world.
Simply put, the greatest of heroes “forgive.”
As it turns out, a real hero has an acute understanding of time and space, combined with a humility that accepts who they really are; human.
The real heroes realize, above all, that they too are flawed and must one day be forgiven themselves.
So, they forgive others as they would want to be forgiven themselves.
This gift provides them the clarity of mind and strength of heart, to be willing to walk into danger and slay whatever dragon they must in order to save us all, even if no one knows they were there.
The smallest of hero’s have the biggest hearts because they understand their journey is the same journey as those around them. Yet, by overcoming a fear of a past that will not return, they forgive themselves first, then those who are around them as well.
By understanding forgiveness, they have what it takes to make an impact that will one day save us all.
The greatest hero knows that swimming in the ocean of time is eternal, but like swimming in a real ocean of water, you don’t need it all, just the water that is around you.
They live in the here and now, knowing where their impact lies and what it means to others.
So, that’s where they start and that is where they focus.
Real heroes forgive, first themselves and then everyone they meet.
They are the real heroes, those who change the world one ripple at a time.
So, what am I grateful for?
Forgiveness, and the Hero who forgave me.
-DB