Why I always wear headphones for virtual coaching calls

Recently I was a participant in a group coaching call (with a group of 8 other women) and the conversations were beginning to get increasingly vulnerable. Then I saw a man walk into the kitchen in one of the attendee's background (I presume their husband/partner) and start preparing his lunch. Even though he didn't appear to be listening in and I doubted he would even care what we were talking about, I assumed that he could still hear our conversation because the woman on the call wasn't wearing headphones. It was so interesting to notice how distracting I found this - not just the movement in the background, but the immediate sense of a loss of privacy and intimacy (not just for me personally, but for the group as a whole). It felt like the virtual equivalent of a stranger walking into a meeting room and sitting in the corner while a meeting was in progress. I noticed I was more focused on him and more self-conscious about what I was saying, and less focused on the conversation and my peers.?

My attention was drawn to the presence of this man by the fact I could see him in the background, but it also made me wonder how often have I been in virtual conversations and unaware of who was else is listening in because I couldn't see them?

When you have a conversation with someone face-to-face you can get a sense of who might be able to hear what you're saying by what/who you can see. However in a virtual conversation your view of your conversation partner's environment is restricted - you can't see what or who is around them (kids doing their homework, tradies undertaking home repairs, colleagues at a desk close by, a partner or housemate also working from home) - and of course this is amplified when using virtual backgrounds. Even if you think that they are in a private space, you're not able to have that complete visual confirmation and I suspect that your brain (even at a subconscious level) perceives this as a safety risk.

Working and learning from home is obviously a big part of our lives now and not everyone has access to a completely private space, nor can we always expect that the people we share our homes with can magically disappear or restrict their movements around video calls.?

In coaching, the safety and confidentiality of the coaching container is critical. While my coaching clients can assume that no-one else can hear our conversation (and in reality there is very rarely anyone within several hundred metres of where I'm conducting my coaching calls!) they're not able to visually confirm it. While I may not *need* them, using headphones is a subtle visual signal to my counterpart that I'm the only one hearing what they say. As a coach or a manager of staff, wearing headphones can be about more than audio quality - it is a small action that you can take to foster more open communication and psychological safety with your conversation partner.?