Why I Was Not Achieving The Goals I Set ---Yet

Greetings Fam!

Today I invite you to muse with me on the possibility that what if the reason you are not achieving your goals is because your goal setting system is broken?

Sometimes last year, two powerful insights about my goal setting approach dawned on me. One was the realization that my goals were simply, too boring for my nature. And the second was coming to terms with the fun fact that I have always had two set of goals. The Doable Beaten Path Goals and the No Path Secret Dreams Path.

And that is why, friends, I was achieving none of the things I deeply desired.

Face palm. I know.

So I set on a new adventure to reevaluate my relationship with goal setting. A topic that is obviously over spoken about. Was it just me who wasn’t getting it or could there be a secret sauce for me that I hadn’t cracked yet?

In this article, I share my lessons, my new approach, and how it's all going.

Let me first break down my two insights.

Boring.

The goals lacked the energy of fun, playfulness, experimentation, creativity, and excitement. As a highly creative and enthusiastic these are critical ingredients for my success.

The two goal sets.

Set 1: The Doable Beaten Path Goals.

Aligned to what I know from experience. ?Achievable. Require hard work to achieve. I can see the path to get there. Vertical trajectory. Tangible. I get driven but I couldn’t really jump a ship to achieve them. Aligned to skills and professional strengths. ?A response to what is realistic.

Set 2: The No Path Secret Dreams Goals

The world of the unknown. Date back to my 5 year- old self. I secretly want these to manifest. Sound impossible. Require great imagination (and extra divine intervention) to manifest. There is no clear path to get there. They really do sound bizzare. Intangible results. I get scared thinking of pursuing them. I feel excited thinking of achieving them. Aligned to my intrinsic gifts and talents. A response to my soul.

As the poem goes…

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." Robert Frost

I being not dramatic at all tore all the previous goals I had accumulated and cleansed them on a bonfire.

And then I asked myself, how would my goals really need to feel like for me to authentically make me jump out of bed every morning? Like for real.

Feelings are everything. They drive our desires and out actions. It goes without saying then that feelings aligned to our goals/desires are more likely to drive us to take the right action.

Pause at this moment and ask yourself, how do your current goals make you feel? Like for real?

Here are the 7 adjectives I came up to alchemise the boredom infused energy from my goals.

1. Exciting: Thinking of them brings me joy. A sense of enthusiasm. Soul/values alignment.
2. Scary: A lot at stake if not successful. An element of risk taking.
3. Ambitious: Bold. Big. Higher standards
4. Challenging: Completely out of my comfort zone.
5. Demanding. Not Easy. Require my absolute mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional commitment.
6. Impossible. Never done before. Or by a few.
7. Outrageous:?Absolute madness. Out of this world.

A second challenge remained. How would No Path Secret Dreams Goals Look Like...for me?

I had no idea either. So I took a blank page. Wrote down everything I was curious about that I knew I would regret on my death bed if I never at least once in my lifetime tried to pursue.

Talking of trying.

One of my coach friends shared something so strikingly powerful earlier this year. Have you tried trying?

This has become my new state of being. Trying to try. Sometimes it’s try to try to try so I can try tomorrow. We are getting there.

When my list of regrets was complete. I compiled, clustered and all that to find the main themes. Finally I had about 7 main ‘experiences’ or 'goals' for this context that I want to try trying in 2023.

I then found 7 images that symbolize these and created a visual reminder that I now look at as much as I look at my phone. Yup you got it. It’s my screen saver. Focus + Stickiness is important.

Oh and one more thing. Remember how the second set of No Path Secret Dreams Goals has no clear direction or action steps? Turns out as the other old gospel goes, that’s actually not true either. The path is there. It starts with an idea. One step. And then the next. Clear a few bushes here and there. Rest. Keep moving. Try again. The path exists. It's not straightforward. It was simply invisible for me with my previous goal setting eyes/system.

Funny thing is as I write this, I already achieved the biggest milestones for the first 3 goals. One curiosity tried at a time.

Curiously interested to hear from you, one thing you are taking away from today's musing.

Joyfully

Luna