Why are HR pros feeling powerless?

*Inspired by @Kelly Swingler

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At the end of the day yesterday, I had one of those work phone calls that happens where I'm left with big ‘aha moment’ about HR; when I’m left more curious than when I began. For someone who values curiosity immensely, I love these moments. They get me into a phase of wanting to dig deeper and learn more. Where to turn in those moments? This extrovert needs to share it with a peer! So, I quickly messaged my friend Kelly Swingler (even though I knew she’d be asleep at the time. She’d get in the morning).

I woke up to a message from her saying my note inspired to write a blog post she wrote. Check it out here.

https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/hr-whats-your-value-kelly-swingler/

She always encourages me to share more of my thoughts aloud, so here goes…

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So, my message to Kelly was inspired by this phone call I had with a male Leader in HR yesterday who said to me “You should be charging 10k for a course in how to hire in this market. The community needs your expertise.”

Flabbergasted by the number, I said: “10 thousand dollars?! I recently charged 129 dollars for a course and got a LOT of push-back from women in HR that I should teach courses for free.” His response: “FREE?! For 17 years of expertise and all the value that you bring? NO WAY!”

This reminded me of when I launched my business 7 years ago and multiple clients told me “You are undercharging for the service you bring. You are teaching us so much more than any other Recruiter. Your attention-to-detail, your care for us, and process efficiency are unparalleled. Raise your fees”

Raise your fees.

I even had one client ask me to send him another invoice so he could pay me more; he felt badly paying what I suggested. It wasn't enough.

How embarrassing that I had to be told this. I clearly hadn't learned how to stand in my own worthiness. (Thankfully, this has gotten easier with practice and time).

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I digress! As I kept talking to this HR Leader yesterday…I thought…why do we, mostly women, have this guilt around charging money for our expertise?

I kept sitting in this curiosity and thinking…

And, then I remembered what I’m hearing a LOT of lately from peers in sales or recruitment:

“Avoid HR like the plague! They’re the worst! They can’t pay for anything. They have no power to get deals done. They don’t have the ability to make things happen. Go around them.”

And, I continued to get curious about where this stems from…

I kept thinking: HR pros aren’t bad people. They don’t WANT to be powerless (as far as I know!). They want to be strategic and have an executive presence. They want to be seen as a powerful business partner. They want the power to make decisions.

I recently tweeted the following:

“Imagine walking into a Ferrari showroom and saying "OMG, these are so expensive! That's insane! You should NOT be asking this much! Who do you think you are? Who would buy this?!" This is what many women in business hear when trying to negotiate their worth. It's BS”

 (So many women messaged me privately to say how much this spoke to them. How they feel like the Ferrari but often get this push-back and don't know how to handle it).

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And then I started putting all the pieces together in my head (Hence my note to Kelly!)

For those of us offering services, who sometimes puts the guilt-trip on us when they see our fees/rates/contracts? HR Leaders, you say. But, WAIT…who feels guilty about asking for money for themselves? HR Leaders. There’s a connection here. And we aren't talking enough about it.

How catastrophic! HR pros are not standing up for themselves financially. So, of course they aren’t able to stand up for others. I have empathy for HR Leaders. I want to help them. I want to see this change.

It’s time that all of us stop feeling guilty about our worthiness. We see this occurring mostly among women. So,—I’m speaking to you. A woman in business said to me this morning “Women in HR don’t ask for money for themselves or their department because they’re seen as a cost center. Other teams get more resources” and I asked her “Does every HR professional have the confidence to go into to their Executives, show data, explain the need for the resources, the investment, the value of that price, and show why it’s a no-brainer” and she said “Gosh, not most. Great point. Most executives want to solve problems, and are happy to give resources if someone can explain how spending that money helps the organization. Maybe too many HR pros are scared to do that. They don’t know how.”

They don't know how.

And then I thought about all the women in HR I know who don’t negotiate their own salaries, or their own promotions, raises, the new HR Tech they need, the Coach/Consultant/Trainer they need, the external recruitment partnership they need, the conference money they need…

And, I want to help turn this ship around. "They don’t know how”

Sales people, how about you stop ‘avoiding HR’, start having empathy for them and then find ways to help them.

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Women in HR: Listen to me and Kelly! We’ve been there. We’re still here. We’ve been stuck with our own worth and have felt ‘badly’ for charging and ‘wish we could do it all for free’, but that’s not how the world works. We have value. You do, too. Gosh, you have a seat at that table! Just sit down and take it. You have a voice. You have the power to make decisions. You have agency to make choices. You HAVE to believe in yourself and the power and value you bring!

You are the Ferrari, and don’t ever let anybody make you feel bad about what you charge. And, please-don’t make any other woman feel badly about what she charges. She knows her value. You’ll get there, too.

Let’s stop playing small. Take up space! The world NEEDS you and HR needs you. I will always be by your side. I know Kelly will, too. She and I will keep brainstorming and finding ways to help you get through this. The world does not need one more powerless woman in HR. We will not let you get away with feeling powerless!

Let’s do this together. #HRValue #HRWorth #WomenInHR #KnowYourWorth