Why is HOPING for something a problem?

The year my son and his high school tennis team made it to the semi-states in the state tennis tournament was a big deal. For a school with a high school enrollment around 350, to have made it to the top 4 teams in Indiana where enrollment is between 2,500 and 5,000, this was a big deal.

You know what got them there?

Hard Work. Dedication and Doing it.

Not hoping it would happen. Not wishing it would happen. But making it happen.

Seems like these high school boys know more than most adults.

I have heard this multiple times this week from my clients:

“I hope I will…”

“I hope I can…”

“I hope I find…”

Guess what?

Hoping is a problem.

Yup, I said it. Hope is a problem.

It sounds good. It’s positive.

But check in with yourself.

Is Hope serving you?

How do you feel when you are Hopeful?

What action does Hope inspire?

Ummm, none.

Hope does not inspire action.

Hope is passive.

Hope crosses its fingers.

Hope tells you to not think about now, but think about some future moment that will be better.

Hope tells you to not take action now, but to wait and want for later.

Hope comes from waiting to see what will happen. Waiting for the future.

Instead of creating your future, on purpose.

You believe the future will come, but Hope lets you not believe that you will:

Lose weight

Stop drinking

Make more money

Find a better job

Make a decision

Hoping allows you not having to commit to believing anything.

Hope leaves you waiting and wanting without responsibility.

How many times have you said “I hope this all works out”?

It’s a lot different from “I am committed to making this work out.”

Designing a great future is not uncomfortable.

But if Hope is in the equation, it will lead you to quit.

You must grow and evolve to create a fuller human experience, a better life.

But, you can use Hope as a way of not asking much of yourself along the way.

What are you waiting for?

Why are you waiting for it?

When you Hope that clarity will eventually come, you prevent yourself from finding clarity right now.

Why are you Hoping for clarity, if you can already have it?

When you have clarity, you bring clarity to others.

You don’t need to wait for it.

By not hoping you are ultimately taking responsibility.

Instead of Hoping life hands you what you want, you go and?get it.

I don’t want anything you Hope for to come true.

Why?

I want you to go get it. That’s right, go get it.

If you go get it, then you build up your capability.

You build up your capacity.

You build up your confidence.

Then you can go get it again, and again and again.

Is it time you gave up Hope?

Let’s work together to do it.