Why is honesty such a novelty?

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I posted a quote on Instagram earlier this week from a recent interview I did, and it really resonated with my community. It was about how I feel when people praise me for being “authentic.” Listen, I’m all for being told I’m great, who isn't? But I want to be praised for things that are beyond what should be table stakes. 

My intention isn’t to sound judgy. I recognize that for a lot of us, finding our authentic voice can be difficult. Reality has beat into us that we should be agreeable. Take the path of least resistance. Be polite and you’ll get further in life. Choose your words wisely. The meek shall inherit the earth (though I do agree with this in some ways.) Don’t be weird! 

The number of times I was called weird and annoying as a kid is almost on par with the number of toilets I've clogged. A lot. 

I hated it.

But as I got older, it became a superpower. The annoying and outspoken kid became an entrepreneur whose voice built brands that cut through the noise. Oh, the satisfaction of proving my high-school critics wrong. Redemption!

I didn’t wake up one day and say to myself, “I have a voice that people care about, so I'll start a brand!” At first, no one cared. And it took a while for anyone to care at all. And even longer to get it right. It's really that simple: I started somewhere.

So instead of searching for your voice, try pressure-testing it. Put it out there and see if it resonates. Start conversations and see what comes back to you. I promise, more often than not, you’ll find others who relate to you but have been afraid to externalize those same thoughts or feelings. 

It’s a responsibility to share our voices. In doing so, we make people feel less alone. We normalize things that would otherwise be labeled weird. And in the process we give others the confidence to be themselves–to share their unique voice. A virtuous cycle. 

But don’t be afraid to let your voice change. To let it evolve while evolving who you are. To have a different perspective today than you did yesterday. What shouldn't change, though, is your honesty. Say what you mean and feel what you say. Always.

In the book The Path: A New Way to Think About Everything, Michael Puett writes:

"We have to let go of the mentality of the 'true self.' Be sincere. Be authentic. Be true to who you are. These slogans of the modern age encourage us to look within. The danger is that what we discover is only a snapshot of who we are at a particular time and place. We read self-help books, meditate, write in our journals, and then diagnose and label ourselves: I’m a free spirit. I’m a hothead. I’m a dreamer. I fear intimacy. I moved around too much as a child, and now I’m skittish when meeting new people. By embracing these patterns, we allow them to harden.”

My challenge to you: write something from the heart this week. Write something difficult. Write something that you’re afraid to externalize. Put it out into the world and see what happens. And I promise that virtue-boomerang will come right back to you. Oh yeah, be sure to hit reply and share it with me. <3

x

Sophia