Why having allies matters

My parents relied on gender stereotypes to raise me as most parents do. Its natural and its one of the first major biases that is thrust upon you before you can even talk. I was dressed in blue, given dinosaurs and trains to play with and encouraged to be outdoorsy (playing sports, climbing trees, getting involved with my Dad's many DIY projects which still aren't finished 20 years later). In turn, my parents also raised me as a straight person based upon their own viewpoints.

As I grew up, I realised there was something different about me, something that I had never been taught. I realised I am gay and when I came out I was introduced to a whole new world. One of my first friends was someone who is non-binary (they identified their gender as neither male or female) which was totally alien to me. However, I knew from my own experiences that fitting the perceived norm wasn’t productive and so I listened to how they felt and why they felt like that. It wasn’t my place to judge, because the vibrancy they added to my life was what mattered.

my friend used gender-neutral terms such as they/their/ze

My first learn was that people who are non-binary use different pronouns due to their gender identity. I use he/him/his and my friend used gender-neutral terms such as they/their/ze. They invited me to a network for non-binary and transgender people in my home town which opened my mind even more and what shocked me the most is that almost 60% of people who are Trans* consider suicide, with nearly 50% being under the age of 26. I met someone called Michelle on my first meeting, and the next time I went, she had taken her life.

I knew at that point, it was vital to have a help the full LGBT+ community, and not just what matters to me. As a gay man, I look for allies to support me, but it’s down to me to support others too. Being an ally isn’t easy, there is a lot to learn and you make mistakes sometimes, however without the support from the people I met who guided me on the right and wrong things to say, I learnt over time. 

At EY, we celebrate IDAHOT (International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia) every 17th May. It's important we acknowledge this day to celebrate the successes made in advancing LGBT equality, and raise awareness of the struggles LGBT people still face around the world simply for being themselves.

If you're interested in becoming an Ally, or would like to read more information on how to support LGBT+ people in your life then check out EY's "Making it Real" here or download our App via the iTunes store or Google Play