Why have ABS when you can have KEBABS?

This was my actual motto for many years. I can’t even begin to describe how much I loved kebabs - I would dream about them, talk about them, sometimes even wake up next to them. 

When getting drunk on a night out with friends, I was more excited about the kebab I would have on the way home than the actual evening itself. ??

It became part of who I was. I was known as the guy who loved grilled meat and could eat A LOT of it.   

I even had my picture on the wall of a kebab shop for “most kebabs eaten in one sitting”. Kebab was my life. ????

One day, partly because a close friend called me fat (you know who you are) and partly because of watching “What the Health”, I decided to quit eating meat. Even worse, I decided to go Vegan. ??

I knew this was the right thing for me at the time but I was really scared about telling people. 

I felt there was this expectation for me to eat meat as it was so ingrained in my reputation and felt like it was part of my manhood. ????

Turns out I was right... I ended up being a huge disappointment to many of my friends… but also to my dad (who didn’t speak to me for a few days)... and worst of all the kebab shop owners. 

Some friends even tried an intervention but I stuck to my guns and made them understand that this was the new me. Eventually they started to see that I was still the same person and gradually began accepting their new plant eating friend. ??

The more I turned down meat, the more confident I became with this new version of myself. My friends started to respect me for my ability to not let other people’s expectations dictate my actions. 

By taking pride in my convictions and with practice I started to care less about other people’s opinions. 

Funnily enough, after a while people’s expectations of me also changed... and before I knew it I wasn’t the meat eating guy anymore. Now I was the Vegan ??

Did I ever slip up? Of course I did. One evening my friends caught me red handed in a Kebab shop stuffing my face. 

I had snuck out of the bar because I desperately needed food and one of them had followed me. He also made sure to get photographic evidence. ??

I didn’t beat myself up about it however... as I clearly needed one last goodbye… but I haven’t looked back since (I promise ?? )

So where in YOUR life have YOU been afraid to make changes because you feel you have a certain reputation to uphold? Do you ever feel like you HAVE to do something because it’s what’s expected of you?

It could be saying yes to a project when you don’t have the bandwidth… Going out for that drink when deep down you really don’t want to… Showing up for that meeting when you know you won’t get anything out of it... 

Sometimes we worry so much about other people’s opinions, that we do things that aren’t in line with who we really are... or who we want to be. ???♂?

This is completely normal and part of our survival instinct. We don’t want to be rejected by the group and left by ourselves to fend against big scary predators. ??

Luckily we aren’t Neanderthals and most of the time our lives aren’t really in danger.

If you want to reinvent yourself or stop doing what is expected of you, you’re going to have to break the mold. ??

A SIMPLE way of doing this is to TRY being different for a day... or a week... or even a month. 

Don’t be afraid to stand out. See what happens. Start living life for yourself and not for others. 

Take pride in your convictions. In time, people will respect you more for it. It’s a great way to practice and the more you do it, the greater it feels. ??

Obviously, you’re going to experience a little resistance from others and maybe even from yourself. But that’s ok, it’s part of the process. If anything it’s a great way to get to know who your true friends really are.

In my case, my dad eventually forgave me as he realised there would be more saucisson for himself... and falafel wraps put the kebab shop owners back in business… a true happy ending! ????

If this resonated with you, drop a comment below with an emoji that represents one thing you’ve always wanted to do but have been afraid to because of how people might judge you.

Originally published at https://www.alexlifecoach.com on November 11, 2020.