Why Grit Matters Most for Kids, Not IQ? (And Smart Tips to Tackle It!)

“Crawling at 6 months, walking at 11 months, talking in complete sentences by 13 months, spelling the word “truck” at 20 months”

When our kids are younger we are so obsessed with comparing and analyzing our children’s early signs of intelligence.

But do we know if smarts can actually predict success in life?

Studies by social scientists like have shown that having a high IQ doesn’t guarantee success in this world.

They explained that IQ was not what determined who are the best and the worst students. But they found that some of the best performers did NOT have genius-level IQs and students with those coveted high IQs weren’t actually doing so well.?

What the best students had was ‘GRIT’. Which can be defined as passion and perseverance towards long-term goals.?

But why grit is more important than IQ?

Here are 3 main reasons.

1. The IQ Test is Flawed!

Experts are finding that intelligence is a lot more than one thing. It’s separate cognitive abilities like short-term memory, reasoning, and verbal skills.

They also found that different circuits or pathways in the brain are used for these different thought processes and, therefore, we would need at least THREE separate tests to test for someone’s intelligence.

Moreover, cognitive abilities aren’t everything.

There are also non-cognitive abilities. They are grit, tenacity, and perseverance. In a survey in 2013 it was noted that these abilities

“...are essential to an individual’s capacity to strive for and succeed at long-term and higher-order goals...”

Experts have known for years that the test is flawed when it comes to predicting success.? Back in 1921, an education psychologist set up a study to track the success and progress of over 1,000 children who had taken the IQ test. None of the people he labeled as having high IQs went on to be smashing successes.

Moreover, there were two future Nobel Prize-winning physicists that he dismissed from the study as their test scores were not high enough.

2. Geniuses Aren’t Born, They Are Made!

When we say “genius” many of us immediately think of Albert Einstein.

But Einstein wasn’t born a genius. He was thought to be mentally delayed and possibly deficient. He hardly talked and he certainly didn’t do well in school.? Even he would tell you his intelligence didn’t really matter.

“It’s not that I’m smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer. Most people say that it is the intellect which makes a great scientist. They are wrong: it is character.”

Professor Michael Howe in his book Genius Explained agrees:

“What makes geniuses special is their long-term commitment. They struggle very hard and they keep on persisting.”

He points to other geniuses, like Charles Darwin, who was thought to be aimless and shiftless, and the Bronte sisters, who honed their writing skills through years and years of hard work.

And none of these people were child prodigies. They were people like you and me. With the support and encouragement of their parents, these geniuses worked, practiced and focused on one thing until they mastered it.

3. The Focus on IQ Results in a Fixed Mindset!

There's a notion that IQ is an insular concept. Most people are convinced that they can’t change their score because it’s based on their innate abilities.

People with a fixed mindset believe that their failures have to do with a lack of ability.

People with a growth mindset, on the other hand, believe that if they work hard enough and use the right strategies they can accomplish anything.

If a child spends enough time believing they don’t have the ability to succeed they can develop learned helplessness. A child who acquired learned helplessness just gives up. They stop trying no matter what kind of encouragements or rewards are offered.

How To Teach Your Kids Grit Using Challenges ?

So how do you teach your kids GRIT?

So there are three components to teaching grit: perseverance, long-term goals, and passion towards these goals. One simple way you can help your kids develop grit is by encouraging them to take on (preferably, long-term) challenges.??

Step 1: Select a Challenge

It turns out many successful adults faced significant struggles during their childhood: poverty, loss of a parent, or a learning disability. These early struggles became “practice” of overcoming challenges which helped them later in life.

You can help your child build his or her own challenges to feel proud of conquering. Talk to them and find out what they think is a real challenge for them, then help them build a plan to tackle it.

Step 2: Coach Them Through

Once you set up a challenge for your kids talk them through the struggle.

For example, through every challenge emphasize your kids’ hard work. Talk to them about the importance of the process and what they learned rather than whether they were successful.

This method is called TRY, which means to better talk them through challenges and to train them to talk themselves through the rough patches.

TRY stands for: Trust your ability; Recognize how you can do better; and Yearn to succeed.

Your child is unlikely to succeed if they can’t trust his or her own ability. And they also have to know that you trust that they have what it takes. Tell them, “You can do this. I know you can.”

Next they have to recognize how they can do better.

First they look at what happened. The good, the bad, and the ugly!

Then ask them to look at what they did well. After they name one thing you can move to what could have gone better. Then move them onto thinking about what they can do next time so they don’t make the same mistake.

And this moves them into yearning to succeed. It feels amazing to conquer something you were having problems completing. Having your children experience what success feels like keeps the ball rolling and they want to keep feeling that amazing high of success.

This process works especially after a crushing defeat. It works because we aren’t allowing the defeat to be the end point. Your child is moving themselves beyond thoughts of quitting and into a plan for the next time. They are getting gritty.

Step 3: Encourage Excellence

Once your child begins working on his challenges, he might want to be done with it as soon as possible. Encourage them to complete it the best of their ability instead. You can ask:

“Have you done the best you could do here?”

This strategy is what an education specialist and author calls an Environment of Excellence. This is an environment – in the home or in the classroom – that encourages work done to the very best of one’s abilities.

This is where the child learns to care about the quality of their work rather than how quickly they completed that math worksheet or how many words they used in this essay.

If they perform to the best of their abilities, their horizons will expand.

Once a student sees that he or she is capable of excellence, that student is never quite the same. There is a new self-image, a new notion of possibility.

THE LAST BIT:

In essence, being smart isn't everything. While IQ tests may give some insights, true success is built on grit – the mix of passion and perseverance.

Think of it this way: Einstein and Darwin weren't born geniuses; they worked hard and stayed committed to their goals. As parents, we can nurture grit by encouraging our kids to tackle challenges, guiding them through setbacks, and urging them to strive for excellence. By doing so, we're not just raising kids who ace tests, but resilient individuals ready to conquer life's hurdles with determination and drive. All the best in your endeavor!!