Why Grief Is Not Linear and What That Means for You:

Issue No. 001 October 26,2023

Hello LinkedIn,

We've all heard the old adage that time heals all wounds, but anyone who's ever faced a significant loss knows that the journey through grief is far from straightforward. Today, we'll dive into a topic many of us can relate to but struggle to understand: Why grief is not linear and what that means for you.

The Common Misconception: Linear Progression of Grief

Many of us are introduced to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's Five Stages of Grief—Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance—as if they are a series of hurdles to clear on the path to healing. However, the reality is not so neatly organized. The stages can occur out of order, overlap, and even recur long after we thought we were "over it."

The Nature of Non-Linear Grief

Cyclic, Not Progressive: One of the most disconcerting aspects of non-linear grief is that feelings of sorrow, guilt, or anger can come back unexpectedly, even after periods of relative peace.

Individual Experience: No two people grieve in the same way. External factors like support systems, internal factors like emotional resilience, and even cultural factors can influence how you navigate through your loss.

Trigger Moments: Certain events, anniversaries, or even simple reminders can act as triggers that cause a reemergence or intensification of grief.

What Non-Linear Grief Means for You

Be Kind to Yourself: Recognizing that grief doesn't follow a set pattern allows you to be more patient and forgiving with yourself. It's okay not to be okay, even if you thought you were moving past your grief.

Expect Ups and Downs: Understanding the non-linear nature of grief can prepare you for the emotional ebbs and flows. It can help you put those "bad days" into context and not feel like you've regressed.

Seek Support: Dealing with the unpredictable course of grief can be less isolating when you share your feelings with trusted loved ones or professionals.

Next Steps: How to Navigate the Non-Linear Path

1. Journaling: Regularly writing down your thoughts and emotions can provide insights into your grieving process.
2. Counseling: A grief counselor can offer coping strategies tailored to your personal experience.
3. Support Groups: Sharing your story with others who are going through a similar experience can provide emotional relief and practical advice.

Thank you for taking the time to read this newsletter. We hope it provides some comfort and understanding as you navigate your unique path through grief.

Wishing you strength and peace,

Debbie Refsland - Mays