Why Good Intentions Sometimes Leave You Feeling Drained And How to Break Free From People Pleasing

Have you ever gone the extra mile for someone, only to feel unappreciated and completely drained? My client Carol shared her story with me, and it sounded relatable ??

After an unexpected snowstorm, Carol decided to help her traveling neighbors by trying to get the snowplow company to clear the heap of snow blocking their driveway. She called and texted repeatedly, made multiple follow-ups with the HOA, and even shared her frustrations with another neighbor. But despite her efforts, the outcome wasn’t what she’d hoped for. The snowplow didn’t arrive, the HOA didn’t take action, and the neighbor’s disinterested response left Carol feeling more frustrated and depleted than ever.

When Carol told me this in her session, I asked her a simple question: “Who asked you to do all this?”

Her answer? “Nobody.”

That realization hit her hard. She had poured so much energy into a situation that no one had requested her help with, all because she wanted to do a good thing. Instead of feeling fulfilled, she felt unappreciated, stressed, and exhausted. She admitted, “I want to do for others, but I need to stop people-pleasing.”

This is the trouble with making decisions on behalf of others. We assume what they need and invest our time and energy based on those assumptions. Often, it leads to stress, disappointment, and a sense of being undervalued.

Breaking the Cycle Of The Need To Please ??

Carol and I worked together to identify how she could shift her approach. Here’s what we came up with:

1. Wait for the Request: Instead of jumping in, pause and wait to see if someone asks for help. Not every problem needs solving. Especially not by you.
2. Pause and Reflect: Before taking action, ask yourself, “Am I going the extra mile here?” If the answer is yes, consider the option of whether it’s truly necessary.
3. Offer Positive Intentions Without Expectation: Sometimes, a simple prayer or positive thought for someone is enough for both of you. It’s a way to send kindness into the world without seeking validation in return.

The hardest part for most of us? Owning our behavior. It’s so much easier to blame others, play the victim, or throw a pity party. But nothing changes when we stay in that routine. When you choose to own your actions, you can interrupt the patterns that keep you stuck and create space for a new way of thinking.

If This Sounds Like You, Are You Ready To Break This Cycle?

If you’ve ever found yourself in a similar situation, feeling frustrated, unappreciated, and depleted, I want you to know it doesn’t have to be this way.

That’s why I created the 30-Day Pause & Reset Morning Journey, starting January 29th. This simple, intentional program is designed to help you:

• Start your mornings with calm and clarity instead of stress and overwhelm.
• Learn how to pause, reflect, and make decisions that align with how you want to feel.
• Set boundaries that protect your energy and peace of mind.

In just 10 minutes each morning, you’ll start creating small, sustainable changes that add up to big results over time. Each day, you’ll get a 5-minute video guide delivered straight to your inbox, along with a reflective question to help you set the tone for your day.

And when you join now, you’ll get early bird bonuses like a bedtime routine audio guide and daily printable PDFs for reflection, because setting yourself up for success doesn’t have to be complicated.

Think of this as a gift to yourself. A way to show up each day with intention which will create a positive impact not just for your own life, but for the people who matter most to you.

Are you ready to change direction? Join me today and let me help you master your emotions and create calm, clear mornings where you feel in control . That's a great way to protect your peace ??

Click here to sign up now and claim your early bird bonuses before they’re gone!