Why Girlfriends Are Good For You
I hear again and again how difficult it can be for some women to make lasting friendships as they get older. I'll address why that may be a sign of the times, how 'mean girls' ruin friendships for everyone, my take on the 'friend zone' and why the girls who you get crazy with are good for you.
HOW TO BE A GOOD FRIEND: Allow Space - Saturday nights from college won’t last forever and neither will late night diaper changes. Nurture the foundation you have by continually checking in with her and expressing interest in what is important to her NOW and finding ways to support one another. Her role is to ensure your wellbeing and vice versa. Do that, you both win.
Be There When It’s Tough. Not advice giving, just being there. Consistently and physically when at all possible. You know when your girlfriend is bluffing without her saying a word, when that ‘fine’ is not fine. The higher the fine, the further the fall. (I’m FIIIINE). Instead of projecting expectations onto her, ask open ended questions and give room to talk. Unless you are pissed - then stay away.
Show yourself - Demonstrating there is strength in vulnerability, especially if your gut senses something is up with her, can send a message that 'it's OK to share and I trust you.'
WHEN IS IT OK TO END A FRIENDSHIP? A quote to keep in mind is, “Friendship is something you DO.” If your gut says you have grown apart, ask these questions before hitting delete/unfollow: Is this relationship reciprocal? (balanced give & take) Do I feel better/worse when I LEAVE their presence? Is all you HAD (history) all you HAVE? Do her actions express interest or am I being taken for granted?
Again...Phasing out of someone’s life may be as simple as reducing your availability for disappointment. Our time and energy have limits. Know yours and don’t feel guilty about protecting it.
FULL SEGMENT:FULL SEGMENT: https://www.thesocial.ca/real-life/relationships/female-friendships-are-more-important-than-you-thi