Why Gifting Makes Us Human

Friends can often be the most important people in your life. It might be cliche but they truly are the family you choose. They’re partner-in-crime, emotional support, and adopted sibling all rolled into one.

An article I read recently on?Vox?about the relationship between the decline of meaningful gift-giving and the decline of our friendships as we get older really resonated with me. How to make friends is something a lot of people struggle with, but how to keep friends is something we often overlook.

As somebody who is firmly in the category of early-20’s and all of a sudden juggling a thousand balls at once, friends unfortunately can fall by the wayside, as trying to follow my passions, and entering into my first serious relationship can take precedence over a few beers with the boys.

Gift-giving has historically been viewed as a more female skewing activity. In her article about?gender differences in gift exchanges, Mary Ann McGrath writes that women have been socialised to prioritise relationships and intimacy, both between themselves and within traditionally heterosexual relations. She writes that “Females perceive their chosen gift exchange relationships as significantly more intimate than do males.”

Given that I am a man with primarily male friends, I can only speak from a specific perspective. The issue of how to keep friendships alive and healthy seems to be one that we don’t consider due to social norms and expectations. Why do our relationships warrant gift-giving as a show of intimacy, but our platonic friendships don’t, despite the fact that they are probably much older, and may run just as deep in terms of their meaning to us?

I’m willing to bet that you’ve made plans with your wolf-pack that have simply fallen through. That group message on Facebook or WhatsApp is probably full of good intentions that don’t come to fruition, either because other things get in the way, or because you simply can’t be bothered to put in the effort when it really comes down to it.

Maybe men and women should behave a little more similarly when it comes to these matters. I’m not saying female friendships don’t fizzle out for one reason or another, because they obviously do, but it doesn’t seem to be as much of an issue for them in comparison to men.

It seems to be something that’s on our collective minds as men. Seriously, do a quick?Google search?for the term ‘male friendships’ and you’re greeted with articles with titles such as ‘Why is friendship hard for men?’ and ‘Why Men’s Friendships Can Feel so EMPTY’ as well as other such reassuring titles…

Perhaps gift-giving is a possible solution for this issue. It probably won’t redeem all your flagging friendships, but it might go some way to keeping your friendships alive. It’s for sure better than messaging them once a week with some vague promise that you should ‘get together sometime’ and before you know it once a week becomes once a month, and eventually it becomes hardly ever.

I know I’ve said this in previous posts, but I’m going to say it again because it’s so true: giving an unprompted gift without the need for a special occasion or event, can make a gift seem ten times more thoughtful and meaningful, and that’s advice for both males and females.

Maybe for the guys out there, and possibly the ladies too, it may seem a little weird at first, but sending a gift to a friend could be a very rewarding experience for the both of you. It might reaffirm your friendship and make you feel closer to each other, in spite of the busy schedules and troubles trying to adult properly as you get older and life starts going at faster pace.

If you need a little help finding something decent there are plenty of good websites like?Getting Personal?and?Find Me a Gift?which offer funny, quirky gifts for both men and women at pretty affordable prices.

If you’re looking for a way to make this process even more simple and expedient, DUSTiD is the app for you. No more need for often long and complicated addresses and post codes etc. All you need now is your buddy’s phone number in order to send them a gift, meaning it’s never been easier to be a better friend.

You can learn more about Dusti by looking at our website or by checking out our?Facebook,?Twitter, and?Instagram?pages.

Thanks for reading everyone, see you next time!