Why Forgetting My Laptop Was a Gift

If you’ve ever facilitated a workshop or led a team, you’ve probably had one of those moments that makes you question everything. I recently had one of those moments — and, spoiler alert: it involved something as mundane as forgetting my laptop at home. Sounds minor, right? Not when you’re traveling for a client engagement and you’ve got a room full of professionals expecting you to deliver a polished, well-rehearsed session on psychological safety. Yeah, I had a moment.

Now, let me set the stage: I’ve been in this game for nearly 20 years. I know the importance of being prepared — of having my slides, notes, and materials in line. But in the madness of preparing for my flight, one essential item slipped through the cracks. My laptop.

In that instant, my mind raced. How could I forget my laptop? How could I show up to a client session without the tools I need? As the weight of the oversight hit me, I had a choice: spiral into panic or pause, reflect, and pivot.

I went with the latter.

Instead of panic over the lost “safety net,” I took a step back. I reminded myself that I know this content — and, more importantly, I know how to adapt. And then, the thought hit me: this was actually an opportunity. What better way to model psychological safety than by owning my mistake and showing up imperfectly?

I walked into the room, smiled, and said, “Funny story: I forgot my laptop.” Then, I owned the vulnerability of the moment and rolled with it. I didn’t have the backup plan I’d meticulously crafted, but I had the knowledge, experience, and most importantly, the mindset that had gotten me through countless sessions before.

And then, I had a flashback.

I remembered a moment early in my career when I was learning the ropes of facilitation. I was fortunate to learn from some world-class facilitators, one of whom was Errol Nembhard . I vividly remember him walking into a room with absolute confidence — no materials, no slides, just himself and his expertise. He would greet the group, settle in, and start the conversation without ever glancing at notes. It was masterful. Errol didn’t rely on tools to command the room. He relied on his presence, his knowledge, and his ability to read the group.

That day, I realized something: I wasn’t just forgetting my laptop, I was forgetting the power of my own presence. In that moment, I channeled my inner Errol. I embraced the flow of the session, adapting to the needs of the group in real time, just like Errol had shown me. It was a humbling reminder of what it means to be truly present as a facilitator and leader — and it was freeing.

The Art and Science of Facilitation: It’s About Flexibility

Here’s the thing about facilitation: it’s both an art and a science. The science is in the preparation — the carefully crafted content, the tried-and-true methods, the structure that holds everything together. But the art lies in the delivery — the ability to read the room, adapt to shifts in energy, and respond to the needs of your participants.

For leaders, the same principle applies. You can’t control every variable, but you can control how you show up. As much as we value preparation and professionalism, we need to remember that being too rigid can hold us back. Sometimes, the best moments of insight come when things don’t go according to plan. It’s in those moments that we learn the true value of psychological safety — because, when things go awry, the way we respond models how we want others to respond.

Psychological Safety: Leading Through Imperfection

As I stood in front of a room full of professionals — experts in their own right — admitting my mistake, I realized something powerful. Psychological safety is not about creating a “perfect” environment. It’s about creating a space where people feel comfortable showing up as their whole selves — imperfections and all. When we, as leaders and facilitators, show our own fallibility, we give others permission to do the same. We build trust not through flawless performance but through authentic connection.

As I looked around the room, I saw the shift happen. Participants felt more at ease, more willing to engage openly, knowing that making mistakes was not only acceptable but actually welcomed. After all, the true essence of leadership is not about being perfect; it’s about being real.

The Takeaway: Embrace Imperfection

So, here’s the takeaway: whether you’re facilitating a training session, leading a team, or managing a project, perfection is overrated. The real power comes from being present and adaptable. As leaders, we need to model that it’s okay to mess up, to make mistakes, and to learn from them. When we embrace imperfection, we create space for others to do the same — and that’s where true psychological safety thrives.

Next time you find yourself in a situation where things don’t go according to plan (trust me, it will happen), take a breath. Own it. Be human. And most importantly, trust that you know more than you think, even when you don’t have all the tools in front of you.

Because in the end, it’s not about the slides or the laptop. It’s about how you show up. And when you show up authentically, that’s where the real learning — and leadership — happens.

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