Why following my childhood dream set me up for failure.

I had spent my entire childhood daydreaming about ways I was going to change the world. My naive self first thought becoming a doctor in Africa, the President, or a pro-golfer/children’s author would solve all of the world’s problems. (I’ve never shied away from dreaming big!) I learned quickly that life is short when I lost my mom to a battle with cancer while I was in high school. My mantra quickly turned to:

None of us are guaranteed time. Make the most of every second and impact as many people as possible.

In my 18 year old haste, I decided a path in the medical field was my best route to change lives. So, I studied hard, graduated top of my x-ray class, and started out my career. But only a couple weeks into my first job, I realized that working in a hospital was extremely limiting.

I vividly remember a specific shift where I asked my manager who was about 20 years ahead of me in her career, “is the money and work you do as a manager worth it to you?” She answered the question pretty quickly, “not at all.” YIKES. I felt like I saw the next 40 years of my life flash in front of me wearing the same scrubs I had on now dealing with the same issues….not a pretty sight.

I had followed all the societal rules: go to a good school, get a good job, save and invest your money. But, it had me in six figures in student debt with zero enthusiasm for the trajectory I was on. So I quit my job (I know scary, right?), taught myself a ton of new skills, and started looking at life through a different lens.

I did not want the trajectory of my ENTIRE life being capped by a career choice I made at eighteen years old.

After this quarter-life crisis, I’ve come out on the other side in an exponentially better position. I have a completely new career in the IT world, helping plant a church, and running a few businesses on the side. So what did I do to go from living paycheck to paycheck to where I’m at now?

1. I asked myself “HOW do I want to spend my life?” not “WHAT do I want to do for a job?”

How the heck do you want to spend your life? If you could have the perfect day, what would it look like? I took some time--some real time--to cast a vision for my life. I created a future in my head that I absolutely loved and was willing to work hard for. (Which involved a lot of giving back, baseball games, and spending time with my favorite people.)

I’ve watched so many people blindly live their life clocking in and out because they were too scared to dream and put some elbow grease in to make it happen. YOLO is so cliche, but you truly only have one shot at this thing! You might be thinking, “okay Becca, I’ve got this cool vision, now what the heck do I do?”

2. Cultivate real-life relationships with people who have already accomplished your goals.

Why? Because you become the people you hang around. Doctors’ James Fowler and Nicholas A. Christakis ran a study that concluded if just ONE of your friends is obese, you have a 45% chance of following suite in the next two years. This is scientific proof of the saying “show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.”

So get around people who have what you want and be diligent about learning from them. And when I mean get around, I mean ask to buy them lunch, learn about their lives, and create a relationship. Too many people think mentorship is listening to a Joe Rogan podcast or following Jay Shetty on Instagram, but it is so much more.?

When I decided to jump into the entrepreneurial world, I didn't just find people who already had success in what I was trying to accomplish, I surrounded myself with those people as much as they’d let me. This way, maybe some of their knowledge would rub off on me and I could learn from their mistakes. Create a true friendship with people 10 steps ahead of you.

3. Take risks and get outside of your comfort zone.

Making this transition from a career-centric life to following a long-term goal is not an easy ride, it’s more like a rollercoaster. You are going to be out of your comfort zone, but everything great in life starts out of your comfort zone! Did I know what I was doing in the IT and entrepreneurial worlds? Heck no. You HAVE to become growth-minded. Have the belief in yourself that you can learn anything you put your mind to!

Life will throw you curveballs, but you have to create the mentality of “I’m ready for whatever pitch comes next,” instead of waiting for somebody else to swing the bat for you. Transitioning from radiology to IT was WAY out of my comfort zone, but I didn’t shy away from the challenge because I knew I could learn the skills needed.

So how do you get past the uncomfortability of growth and brand yourself as a learner??

Focus on how YOU can become a better YOU every single day.

Study a crap ton of books and podcasts and focus on developing your soft skills. I’ve watched countless people stop learning new things once they were done with school. I firmly believe that if you’re not moving forwards you’re moving backwards.?Can you just get 1% better every day?

In the end, I never wanted to look back at my life and think, “dang, I could’ve done SO much more!” I wanted to slide into home plate all dirty, tired, and worn out from all the hard work and fun I had in the process. I’m not saying it’ll be easy, but it’ll be worth it.?

I would’ve had a good life. I went to a good school and was climbing my way up the medical corporate ladder. But, I wanted a great life and had to pivot to achieve it. So, put in some real thought and work to create the life of your dreams. Do not just let your life passively slip by. To wrap this thing up, I will leave you with my favorite quote:?

“Create a life that feels good on the inside, not just looks good on the outside.”

~Anonymous?