Why feeling ashamed that you don't like your career is a good thing.
Laura Allen
Fall in love with your business again! I make it easy for you to maintain/grow your business, enjoy it more & avoid burning out. DISCLAIMER: There’s a high chance you will regain some time to enjoy life more too??
Are you feeling ashamed that you don't enjoy your career? Have you been avoiding sharing how you really feel with loved ones because you’re embarrassed by their potential judgment? You're not alone.
It’s easy to look online and see countless posts about perfect lives, successful businesses, and lavish lifestyles. And it doesn't take a second for confirmation bias to kick in and for you to assume that it's true… Their life is amazing and yours simply sucks.
But here’s the truth:
According to Gallup, 52% of the global workforce is actively seeking new jobs. I believe it! I receive messages daily from people feeling unhappy and unfulfilled in their careers. It’s far more common than you might think.
So you don't like your job?
So what?
Why are you carrying big heavy shackles of shame and hiding how you truly feel from those around you?
Shame vs Embarrassment
Shame is an emotion that arises when your actions and choices don't align with your values. Feeling ashamed about a situation such as not being happy in your career should encourage you and be a catalyst for change, not keep you stuck. Imagine it like a fire alarm detecting smoke. It’s alerting you to take action, fetch some water and put out the fire before it turns into an inferno.
Embarrassment, on the other hand, is discomfort about how others perceive you. This is often the root of the problem in my opinion. Everyone wants to project a certain image to others that is driven by ego and desire. This shows up as displaying status like wealth and intellect and also the primal instinct of being a provider for others.
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This killer combination of shame and ego is keeping so many people silent about their career dissatisfaction. Causing an abundance of people to stay stuck where they are, praying that no one asks the question “So what do you do for work”.
The Solution
“Healthy shame is the psychological foundation of humility. It is the source of spirituality.” - John Bradshaw
Shame is a wake up call. Use it as an opportunity to reassess your situation. Ask yourself:
Answer these questions and create an action plan to overcome your challenges.
Remember the spotlight effect
People pay less attention to you than you think. Get your ego in check and focus on your happiness, not external validation. No one worth worrying about cares about your status but they do care about your happiness. The bravest, most courageous (and impressive) thing you can do is admit you’re not where you want to be and take the steps to fix it.?
Do you want to spend your life worrying about others' opinions, or do you want to create a fulfilling life?
Decision Coach - I help leaders and leadership teams make better decisions
4 个月?? Laura - I haven't experienced shame in my work, but I see others that have. I particularly like your suggestion to get curious and ask questions such as What is this feeling trying to tell me? What are my values? Another question might be, what values are being trampled on here? or, perhaps we aren't sure its shame... could these help? "Can you name the emotions you are feeling?" or "is there a tension that deserves my attention?" (a personal favourite h/t Andy Stanley)
Content-led Lead Attraction System? | I help Coaches & Founders double their reach and sign high-ticket clients even with a small following | LinkedIn Marketing
4 个月Feeling ashamed that you dont like something shows you that there's scope for improvement Laura Allen Also when we don't meet our expectations we might feel dejected. You need to understand where these originate from and whether they are even possible.Saves us from so much turmoil Laura Allen
Helping ??♀? Women in Sales land the job they deserve in 90 days | Career Coach | Former Recruiter & Sales Manager | Gelato Enthusiast??
4 个月Honestly when my mentor said to me ''nobody care about you'' I thought thats so harsh , but it was liberating. As people are more concerned about themselves and their lives , not about judging me. Laura Allen
Founder @ FissionByte | Business enthusiast
4 个月Laura Allen Brilliantly written! I like how explained the distinction between shame and embarrassment. Shame, as you pointed out, can be a healthy thing if it keeps you humble.
Transformative Coach | Create the life you want
4 个月Very much enjoyed reading this over my morning coffee! I feel like shame often happens when your life situation and behaviours don’t meet your own expectations. Expectations that might be wildly inaccurate and impossible to achieve because they are founded in deeper feelings of inadequacy—often born from events from our childhood. We all have the potential to free ourselves of the constraints and inadequacies born from the past that cause us so much suffering in the present. But feelings like shame can prevent us from taking action. What can someone do to offer themselves compassion and loosen the grip of shame?