Why Feedback Doesn't Work

First of all, I have an aversion to the work FEEDBACK, or when someone goes as far as to say, "Hey Brenda, can I give you some feedback?". Maybe because I have been working for over 30 years and I have come across some doozy feedback sessions. Shivers go up my spine and I am immediately reverted back to a time when a "bad boss" gave me feedback surrounding my performance. Don't get me wrong and think I didn't want to grow my career or learn a new skill. That assumption would be furtherest from the truth about me now and even back then.

Thankfully Marcus Buckingham has come out with research to back up what I've always felt, managers can't give feedback well enough, nor can they predict future performance and potential of an individual. In his 2019 book, Nine Lies About Work, Buckingham shuts down the notion that all managers can give feedback well and that employee's will go along with whatever their manager tells them to do differently with little rebuttal.

Buckingham goes on to break apart traditional HR and business processes concerning the assessment of people's performance. Tools like 360-degree feedback assessments and performance evaluations inhibit employees from being committed contributors to a company's culture and strategy.

I love what Buckingham shares in this interview with the ADP Research Institute. He clearly states we need to move away from teaching managers the traditional giving and receiving feedback workshops, to a more reflective conversation model to lead with their employees. Asking an employee what went well allows the employee to discern their level of output and performance from their perspective. People don't learn from you telling them what they did wrong, no matter how eloquently you pitch it to them.

Buckingham goes on to share a few fallacies of feedback:

My manager is the source of truth about me. This fallacy assumes that only a person of authority, rank or position can tell you how you are performing and that their feedback only matters. And basically if your manager didn't tell you how you were performing in your job, you wouldn't know this.

Managers can't assess of who you are. Managers can only express their feelings or reactions to how you are showing up based on what they are experiencing. E.g. "I was bored in your presentation and had difficulty connecting the dots.". Versus, "I think you're a poor public speaker.

Feedback is about filling up an empty space. Learning is about manifesting about what's already inside of you. Learning is about insight and recognition of a pattern that is generating from within.

Excellence can be defined in advance and then we can give you feedback on what parts of excellence you don't measure up. As humans, we don't see excellence the same way. Cezanne and Van Gogh are excellent painters and they paint excellence different. Same applies to two sales people. We can't define excellence in advance and then measure you against that criteria.

So what's the alternative?

If you want someone to excel, feedback never helps. If you want to help them excel, help generate a vision for people and goals they want to take on and own. Help them strip away limiting beliefs they have about themselves generated from past feedback delivered by commanding bosses that meant well, but didn't understand how damaging, opinionated feedback could be. Generate a place of learning by asking thought provoking questions like:

• What was fun about giving your presentation this morning?
• What made you strong in your presentation?
• What did you learn about yourself in preparing and delivering your presentation?
• What would you do to take your presentation from good to great?
• What are you still inspired to learn and do when you give your next presentation?

We now put performance, growth and career development back in the hands of our people, versus allowing managers to have the only set of keys to an employee's future. When we enable our people to reflect on their performance and set their own course for success, they can take this skill anywhere in their life. They can see how they can impact their work differently, their relationships at home differently, even take on that challenging health goal they've been putting off.

Let's cultivate a team of life-long learners versus employees damaged by poorly delivered feedback that gets their back up and minds locked in fear, doubt and worry.

About Brenda:

I am Brenda Rigney. I have been leading teams and organizations for 25 years. My clients are Founders, CEO’s and Executive leaders that want to make a bigger difference with their teams. These leaders are vested in connecting with their people, aligning the company culture and strategy, and developing themselves to be a mindful leader with their work, their relationships and their well-being. I am at my best when I am living my vision of expanding the potential of women, as done by mentoring young women in business, learning how to advance women executives on boards, or fundraising to improve the rural conditions of women in third world countries. I reside in Vancouver, Canada.