Why fear should never be feared.

What are you fearful of? Fear can stimulate new ideas which could lead to new opportunities… something which we’re exploring in our article from Associate Director - Operations, Karen Burrowes.

Fear keeps us safe. It’s the thing in our body that tells us when we need to protect ourselves. This is hugely helpful if we accidentally find ourselves in a lion enclosure or are considering jumping out of a plane with a just an umbrella instead of a parachute but it can actually be particularly unhelpful when it kicks in and tries to stop us doing new things in our professional life – like for instance the biggest surge of fear and adrenalin when you are just about to step out for a spot of public speaking and desperately want to sound calm and composed.

It’s important not to fear fear, but it’s important to understand why it’s there. It is also helpful to remember that the energy and sense of achievement you get from pushing yourself out the other side of fear can create opportunities and help you grow because you will have always learnt something new about yourself as a result.

I read a quote recently that Ninety percent of what most people spend their time really fearing or worrying about, never ends up actually happening in a way that their fears led them to believe it would. So, a lot of time is given to fear, but the reality in the end of what we actually feared is more often than not, nowhere near as bad as we thought it might be. This can mean stress, anxiety and a lack of productivity, all due to something that often never happens.

When you’re scared of taking an opportunity or stepping up to a challenge, if you can, allow yourself to say: ‘Ok this is frightening, but let’s manage it. Let’s learn from it and let’s take it one step at a time.’ I find this really helps.

My dad has always taught me that if an incredible new opportunity comes up, always say yes, and then work super hard to make sure you learn how to do it straight afterwards. Ask lots of questions, learn from people and help take some of the fear away.

For ages and ages I was petrified of public speaking. Then a friend and mentor of mine invited me to talk about leadership at a public speaking event that she was holding. She knew I had always so wanted to do it, but that I was equally so terribly nervous about it, so of course I had never given myself that shove to actually do it. My friend believed and had faith in me and after a super supportive and reassuring chat about the venue and set up, I signed up! Eek!

I probably practiced every day for six weeks before I stood up there and delivered that talk. I practiced as I got ready for bed, practiced as I got ready for work, on the way in to work, on the way home, to my dog of an evening, (my spaniel now likely delivers talks on human behaviors to all the dogs down the road), and practiced delivering it to anyone that would listen. I think the point is, I had come to realise that preparation is key when you’re really frightened of something. Know it so well it’s almost second nature, and that helps take away some of the fear because it becomes so familiar.

Before I stepped out on to the stage, my heart was in my mouth, and my legs were shaking so much, however, whilst I was nervous, I was also so excited! I was pushing myself; I was there!

I made it all the way thorough the talk and couldn’t contain myself and closed my delivery with a huge “woohoo!” before I exited stage due to the sheer relief that I had got through it all as planned. Once I had done it and sat back down, the adrenalin remained. But this time it was due to sheer, 100%, absolute, pure, excitement about what I had just achieved! I was buzzing. I still watch the recording to remind myself how facing my fear can lead me to doing something that really made me super happy and has helped me develop further in my career as a result. Fear pushed me to prepare so carefully, fear reminded me I was outside of my comfort zone, but fear showed me I was learning something new and hugely exciting, and I would urge everyone to embrace your fears as a result.

Sometimes when we feel scared, we feel like the only person who feels fear, and that everyone else is just gliding through life and nailing it without giving this thing we are frightened of a second thought. But it is important to remember that everyone feels apprehensive and scared at some point. It’s natural to feel fear when new opportunities come up. It’s married to that understanding that you’re pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone. But that’s when you’re learning and you’re truly growing the most.

When we’re nervous or frightened we forget that people can’t hear our thoughts. We’re our own worst critics. From the outside looking in, people will more often than not see a confident person that’s excited about what they’re talking about. They don’t hear us thinking, ‘oh my goodness is this alright?’. Try to remember when you’re pushing yourself, and you’re outside of your comfort zone. What we feel, is not what others see.

Having the right support network around you is hugely important to overcoming fear. Whether it’s an event, a challenge, or a new role at work, it’s about having a confidant, a coach or mentor, or someone you can check-in with throughout the process. I am very lucky to work within a business with a hugely supportive leadership team around me, who will push me to learn more, but always be there to help me with that learning. Talking to someone helps give fear perspective. It’s also hugely important to reflect once you’ve overcome fear, and to celebrate having achieved something and having grown as a person.

I read a fair amount, and a book that helped me was, ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway,’ which I found really useful, because as my career has progressed, over the last decade, I’ve taken on new leadership roles and fear does jump in. Once you’ve been through it you gain empathy even more for it and understand that other people need that support as well. You can help by putting things in place for them to take that leap and giving them the tools to get through a new challenge.

The perception that fear will stop you doing things can feel stifling and overwhelming. But what comes out the other side, once it’s overcome, is often the best thing in the world. From that can often come new ideas, which in turn support new opportunities.?