Why family is so important to me as the clock ticks down to my EY retirement

As I reflect on my years at EY, I realize that understanding your values are the most important.?They shape your thinking and your enjoyment of life and career.?If people or companies are not aligned to your values, you will not be happy and you will not be your best self. It’s taken me many years to understand the values that matter most to me, and I’ve learned with time to truly appreciate those important learnings. So, let’s discuss what I have learned.

At the core of my values is my family, who have had a profound impact on shaping me into the person I am today. My parents Malcolme and Pat, my wife Karen, and my boys Stephen and Callum have all taught me valuable lessons. Let me start this blog series with the two most important lessons that I have learned from them.

“Do what you most enjoy”

Today, when I look back, I realize it was my parents who planted the seed of passion, positivity, a go-getter attitude, and perseverance during my early years. My mother often told me, “Do what you enjoy and make things work.” She taught me to be passionate about my pursuits and to always approach new opportunities with a positive attitude. My father, who is from the North of England, was also direct, calling a spade a spade and never mincing his words. He said: “We are here only for a short period of time. Make the best out of it and don’t let success come in the way of appreciating others.” Sometimes our parents’ anecdotes prove the most sublime to us and inspire us into action.?My parents’ support helped me embrace the present with positivity and passion, while always remaining mindful of the importance of empathy and humility.?Although I didn’t always live up to these lofty goals, I have tried to live to them.

“Providing for the family is not enough, being a part of it is”?

I have always followed my heart and did what I enjoyed doing at work, and for the most part this has worked, out but at times this mantra has been challenged. When I became a partner in my early-30s, I was eager to prove myself and worked relentlessly to demonstrate my value to the firm. However, Karen reminded me that work was not everything and I was losing sight of my values in the process and was not balancing family and work well. I thought I was providing for my family, but just assisting them financially is not the same as being part of it, in the highs and lows. So, lesson 1– always listen to your significant other – they know you better than anyone else.

When we moved to the US in 2009, I had the opportunity to change and create a healthier balance between work and family. I also appreciated that whilst moving to the US was a great opportunity for me, it was not the same for my family. They needed to make significant efforts to build their social circles and get acquainted with their new surroundings. Callum told me I had ‘ruined his life’ by bringing him to the US.?Fortunately, it has all worked out – Kids are very resilient, and he is currently at Vanderbilt Law School. But you cannot dismiss or underestimate their challenges. With Karen’s support, we discussed important changes and set new priorities for us all to be happy. I realized that the real joy of life comes from spending time with the people you will always love you – your family. I began walking my son to school and attending his soccer games; I began to support my wife a lot more in raising our family; and we started to talk more about how we could build our future together in a new country. This experience reinforced in me the importance of loving what you do, and the benefits that flow from being fully present for both your work and your family.?

...and this is not the end

While my family has undoubtedly played a vital role in shaping my life's story, I also recognize that other people, perspectives, and learnings have had a significant impact on who I am today. There is much more to share, and I am excited to do so. And I’m not going out without more to say … so stay tuned as I unveil more of my life lessons over the next few weeks.?

#Values #2023Goals #ItsYoursToBuild #FAAS #FAASLeaders??

The views reflected in this article are the views of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the global EY organization or its member firms.