Why Family Link is not a solution?

The problem is old as the world - teenagers love their smartphones, tablets, consoles, PCs. TVs. Oh, wait is it as old? Ok, not really. Let's dig a little deeper and see it for what it really is.

Let me take a step back and reflect on my childhood. No computers, no smartphones. Well, we had a phone but it was attached to the wall and by no mean smart. We had a TV but it was black and white and not much to see anyway. So we had to deal with what we had - few toys and - yes - friends. We spend a lot of time outdoors, playing ball, running, cycling and actually doing a lot of things I would prefer my parents didn't know. So no flashing teasing screens and no temptation.

Coming to the nowadays gadgets are all around us and they present a lot of temptation, leading to addiction and all things that come with it. I'm a proud father of 7 and 12 years old and I have to say the acceleration is not a funny saying anymore. Junior is making 2 years in 1 and is pretty technology and physically savvy as the older brother. So here comes the parent's dilemma - how to let kids know all the useful features without endangering them to be trapped in the virtual abyss?

When I first time came across the Family Link - I was fascinated. Wow, how simple and elegant solution is - you use the technology to deal with the technology problem. You can control the allowance, time and effect is immediate. I have to admin to that at the time we were trying to come to an agreement on tablet and console usage time with little success. So here it comes - solution. But is it? It worked very well in the beginning, removed fighting and things seem to settle. And me and my wife could catch a breath. Problem solved. Although I got an annoying feeling all the time that it is like electric collar and a button to push and control. I thought it works now but what is next? There are activities beyond tablet or smartphone in our live, which are more challenging - how to control that? I noticed that start discussion Family Link is good but it doesn't really create any healthy habits - it is actually opposite - child can't wait for the next 'dose'.

While still having doubts and trying different tactics and varying success I bought Nintendo Switch in February. I got interested in the piece of technology - which is actually quite cool - and as you probably now it is completely portable and supports even 4 players sharing the screen - a lot of family fun. We were planning 1 week break that time so I envisioned some family fun time by playing together. I'm not going to advertise the product anymore because this is not what actually surprised me. As you may imagine there are also parent controls on the console. But the approach is diametrically opposite - yes, you can set the limit for use, yes it will ring and remind that time is up but kid actually has to make decision and stop. Human has to decide, not robot. I found it amazing, Japanese for sure now something about parenting better than I do. Of course you have all the statistics and it leads us to the next question.

So what is about solution? Family Link is a good technology solution but it tries to solve human problem in technological way. There is an old and the only solution for human problems - talk. The word of precaution here - I'm not parenting expert and only have so much of my personal experience. All kids are different age matters and you will know better what is right when you see it. To make things more difficult - it requires effort from you - you may show the kids what also they can do with technology apart from games. May 12 years old creates movies in Power Director way beyond my pay grade and he is incredibly fast in grasping any new tool or technique. There is a lot more than gaming - discovering, creating, finding information - you name it. Of course outdoor activities and sports are equally important. Remember old saying - big rocks go first - and this is were healthy habit are created not by using the soulless tools. It is parents responsibility to make sure kids are busy with meaningful activities, otherwise there is a risk to get downward control spiral.

Being a software engineer for many year I love technology a lot and as any engineer I know - proper tooling is essential - so let's use human tools to solve human problems.

All the products mentioned in the article are property of their respective owner and I'm not paid for advertising. It is just if I like something I enjoy to mention it to others so they might find it useful too.

Happy parenting! :)