Can Passive Social Surfing Engender Envy and Harm Emotional Well-Being and Life Satisfaction?

It's that time of the year. Everyone is desperately leaving the office as early as possible. Families wrench themselves from the clutches of routine for a stint of—hopefully—holiday cheer, reveling in valuable time spent with family and friends.

That is, if they manage to avoid the lures set by all the screens that now surround us.

Nowadays, most people are accustomed to a screen or two joining in on the conversation, like a part of the family. People will access their phones or tablets for information, for music, to take photographs, or share a moment with their network. However, others use their phones as an escape hatch. From an outsider’s perspective, the difference is barely noticeable. For the user, though, the difference can have lasting psychological impacts.

A recent study from the University of Copenhagen shows that lurking passively on social media sites tends to engender envy and possibly harms one’s emotional well-being and life satisfaction.

Social Media Lurking Is Bad for Your Health

What is lurking on social media? The words may seem foreign, but the experience surely isn’t.

Picture yourself scrolling down your news feed, reading other people’s posts and comments, glaring at how many likes they received, watching the videos they post from their vacations or luxury time. You passively consume post after post after post, not interacting beyond the mere act of watching, reading and wanting. That’s lurking on social media. And there is a danger to it.

By contrast, those being more ‘social’ on the platform by commenting, liking and sharing are less likely to suffer the detriments of social media lurking. They are more likely to increase their sense of well-being and life satisfaction by making themselves a part of the conversation and being heard.

Excess is pernicious no matter the object. Excessive use of Facebook is no different. The antidote is action. Do not allow yourself to become inured in passivity. That isn’t how to extract the most value from social media anyway.

Being social is, necessarily, an active process. If you were sitting in a room with people who expect you to be social, and all you do is stare and listen in silence, it’d get awkward fast.

The researchers of this study suggest we engage in conversation, post our own content, and be present, whether online or offline. That is where the true value of social media lies. We feel connected and engaged, learning about others, or verifying our own opinions. On the other hand, endlessly scrolling makes people feel isolated and inadequate. Assailing yourself with thousands of photos of presents, humblebrags, and boasts day after day simply isn’t good for the soul. And ideally, it isn’t the way you’d want to behave offline.

The Past Isn’t Perfect Either

At my age, I am doubtlessly guilty of looking back on the past through rose-tinted glasses.

Once upon a time we used to sit around a dinner table looking at each other rather than down at our smartphone screens. Not too far way are the days when people would impulsively dig into their food rather than instinctively take pictures of it. Freedom from social media distractions and the impositions of digital technology sounds irresistibly appealing.

And yet, whatever my reveries, those days are gone, and what confronts us today isn’t a black and white issue. Social media and digital technology are not either good or bad. The solution isn’t either to ditch Facebook or give in to the tide with reckless abandon.

Self-flagellating social comparisons online or offline have always been harmful. The salient difference today is that the tendency and magnitude of damage online are far greater. The sheer access guarantees this. But it doesn’t demand it. According to the study, the access also guarantees we can actively connect with close friends who will increase our sense of well-being.

Happiness in life is about balance. Sometimes we will be passive and sometimes we will be active. The means of communication have certainly changed. We can talk to more people at once than every before; we can also feel more alone than every before. In the world of today, there is great wisdom in knowing when to put the phone down and when to pick it up, in when to invest time in the people directly around us and in the people digitally following us.

In either realm, you are the company you keep and you always reap what you sow.

In Sum

A recent study from the University of Copenhagen revealed that lurking on social media has negative health effects on emotional and psychological well-being. When we read and watch our newsfeed passively, we are lurking, and that act of passive consumption tends to engender crippling envy that can belittle our sense of self-satisfaction.

The antidote is to actively participate online by sharing your own content, commenting, interacting with close friends as well as strangers, and carving out space for yourself rather than watching quietly as others carve out their own.

However, too much interaction online carries its own disbenefits. We must develop the wisdom to know when to set our phones aside and when to pick them up; when to be with the people directly around us, or our digital friends, wherever they may be.

So this holiday, avoid passivity online. When you find yourself staring mindlessly at your newsfeed, tear yourself from your screen and plop yourself in the real world. And whatever your preferred social domain, make sure your connections are meaningful, that you fill you with joy and, if you’re lucky, holiday cheer.