Why Every Man You've Fallen For Lacks Your Level of Ambition or Has "Issues"...When You're a Strong, Accomplished Kick*ss Woman

Many successful women find themselves again and again on the receiving end of a disappointing, often toxic relationship.

She's ambitious, she's always had big goals and dreams.

She has her career down to a T, has worked hard to build a comfortable life for herself…and eventually feels the nudge to open her heart to relationship.

Only to find herself falling for a man who seems to be struggling in his life somehow.

Maybe he’s not happy with his career. Or struggles with money or being established.Maybe his kids don't speak with him anymore and his Ex wife blocked him.

Or he battles depression, anxiety or some other “issue” that keeps him from being fully motivated in his own life.

But in the beginning, he feels like her soulmate.

He’s attentive.

He sweeps her off her feet.

And they have an “off the charts” connection.

These same relationships often lead to emotional or narcissistic abuse.

Slowly devolving into push-pull, eggshell walking, gaslighting, silent treatments, daily anxiety and multiple breakups and makeups.She loses her sense of direction in life, her confidence, emotional wellbeing…

And at times, financial security by being the breadwinner to an underachieving partner.

Why is this?

Why would a successful, driven woman fall for dysfunctional men? Often repeatedly?

To her concerned family, kids and coworkers helplessly watching the disaster unfold…it doesn’t make sense.

THE REASON: because it’s comfortable for her.

It’s familiar.

She may even comment:“He FELT familiar, like I’d known him my whole life.”

THE REALITY: On some level, she’s deeply afraid of abandonment or rejection.

She’s deeply afraid of losing control or losing herself in a relationship. (read that again)

She’s built her life in such a way that she has continuous control.

She receives validation and emotional approval by being the strong, successful woman.The breadwinning single mom.

She bases her self-worth and value EXTERNALLY on how much she’s achieving in her life.

And yet often compares herself to other women who seemingly “have it all”.

Creating a sense of rejection (the very thing she’s been running from) and inferiority, which drives her to keep achieving.

See how she’s subconsciously creating a no-win situation here?

So when she finds herself with an underachieving partner, she receives the same emotional “hit” of validation by being the helper, fixer, cheerleader, surrogate mommy, therapist and emotional sounding board to her partner.

She remains in control.

And in her mind: free from rejection, abandonment or losing herself, by feeling “needed” by her partner.

When in reality...she’s subconsciously choosing unavailable men to avoid feeling out of control, vulnerable and at risk of abandonment or rejection.

THE IRONY: she eventually meets REJECTION as her partner increasingly becomes more and more unavailable to her (because of his own issues).

And ultimately ABANDONED when the relationship inevitably FAILS.

She CREATED the very thing she’d been running from.

Many women will cycle through this vicious pattern again and again.

Growing more and more jaded and mistrustful.

Which often leads to more achieving and doing so that she feels some kind of worthiness and value.

The good news?This vicious cycle CAN BE BROKEN.

I specialize in helping strong, successful women with this dysfunctional pattern end it by healing the ROOT CAUSE: past relationship trauma......

And through facing her fears, embracing vulnerability and communicating her needs authentically.

We shift her energy from one of fear and control (remember, this is often subconscious and trauma-based)… to one of trust and allowing.

We do this first by helping her get very clear on how she responds in moments that could result in rejection or abandonment, by building her internal awareness (a skillset that's severely weakened with gaslighting and emotional abuse).

We help her accept her flaws and past mistakes by deconstructing the subconscious beliefs and meanings she’s created about herself...

And programming new, empowering beliefs that support what she truly desires ( a loving, healthy relationship).

Most importantly we help her HEAL her abandonment and rejection fears by inviting her to explore situations where the possibility of feeling rejected is HIGH.By learning to be fully present with her feelings fully in a very uncomfortable moment, she gains power over the “monsters in her closet”.

Changing this pattern in the beginning is definitely NOT a comfortable process…

But we teach a very simple 3-step structure, she can fall back on time and time again to help her through these “uncomfortable” moments with grace and ease and embrace the feeling of vulnerability.Healing this pattern isn't necessarily about meeting Mr. Right...(although that's a nice bonus).

It's about retraining your brain and nervous system that you can trust happiness (without waiting for the next shoe to drop).

These are a few of the transformative shifts I teach in my 4-month recovery program for single, successful women seeking to break their cycle of bad relationships.

It’s not for everyone.

It’s for a specific type of goal-oriented women who’s more committed to facing her fears MORE than she is shutting herself off from relationship indefinitely.

It’s for someone who's already had alot of therapy, but is tired of talking about it and still feeling stuck.

This is for someone wants high-level support every step of the way through her healing journey.

If this is you and you’re ready to experience daily happiness, attract love over 40 WHILE loving yourself completely in the process, reach out via DM.

We’ll have a short conversation over messenger to see whether it’s the right fit for you.

Alternatively you can book a consult call (www.bethanydotson.com/talk) if you feel more comfortable with a phone call.

Both methods are no pressure and an exploratory conversation to determine psychological readiness for the work and whether we can truly help.