Why every email triggers your FIGHT or FLIGHT reaction?

I remember one of my worst times managing people and projects and customer expectations: everything was in conflict and there didn't seem to be any rational way to solve it.

Every piece that you moved to fight a small flame made a mess of the rest of the planning, impacted other projects, and created other fires.

Every single email that I received needed a decision - an uncomfortable one - and you know how many emails you receive daily.

And the worst thing is that you are alone, nobody will help you out with the decision - even in those cases where the team knows more than you and should be the one coming up with potential solutions.

Why did this happen?

Any decision you take (even a small one) triggers your nervous system and your fight-or-flight mechanism; you produce cortisol, which is the stress hormone. The worst thing is that you don't (and can't) realise this is happening.

In the beginning, this is fine: it makes you be more alert, focused, and deal with the situation. But then it starts degrading quickly and what helped you at first is the very same thing that makes it impossible to think clearly, logically and reflectively: in essence, the accumulated stress impacts your ability to make a good decision.

When confronted with relentless demands and unexpected challenges, you tend to slip into such states of mind, which drain your energy and cause friction in your relationships - even beyond work.

Does this happen to my team as well?

Yes, especially when there are important meetings (or brainstorming sessions).

In the initial phase, people are Reactive, cautious about sharing their ideas and defending their positions.

As a leader, it is important not to respond to initial behaviours, but to look beyond that and move the group to the next level of development: the Active Phase.

That phase sees people sharing opinions and proposing their ideas; this is a better level of engagement, but some people might disagree and go back to the reactive phase (fight, flight or freeze).

Practical hint: ask what are the reasons behind the different options and opinions. Listen. Connect.

Connection brings this feeling of being heard and feeling safe. It builds mutual trust.

What can help?

While the problems will not magically disappear, the good news is that some simple practices DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE in the way you, your body, and your subconscious mind react to these events.

And you have a way to defuse the fight-or-flight mechanism.

Almost two years ago, I published a series of Ten Productivity Tips: simple pills that helped me immensely to face the situation and go from constantly firefighting mode to a more focused (and effective) way of dealing with the situation, with the team, and with the (sometimes unreasonably) demanding customers.

Like some bricks to build the fundaments of your solid house, these small actions build the basis of your resilience, focus and great results. You can read them here: https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/10-tips-you-need-know-obtain-more-results-less-time-giulio-zecca

But I also want to leave you with three actionable tips

1?? It’s far more efficient to fully focus for 90 to 120 minutes, take a true break, and then fully focus on the next activity. Harvard Business Review refers to these work periods as “Ultradian Sprints” (more details in one of my Productivity Tips).

2?? Deep abdominal breathing, exhaling slowly for five or six seconds induces relaxation and recovery, and turns off the fight-or-flight response. It LITERALLY only takes a minute of this a few times a day. I know you don't have a minute for this (neither did I), until you decide that your physical and mental health are more important than rushing to the umpteenth meeting or reading literally one more email or two. And guess what? Then all the next decisions are better, with less stress, more focus, and more energy to achieve better results.

3?? You may argue that you need some stress to perform well, and you are right: there is an obvious link between Pressure and Performance. We can go as deep as the concept of Flow, which can boost performance up to 500% but, in essence, the concept is very simple. Not enough pressure, you would soon feel dull and hardly get anything done; too much pressure, you feel you can't cope and start triggering the fight-and-flight reaction. Without even noticing it.

If you are an achiever,

you probably see it as normal to cope with such levels of stress. Nonetheless, beyond a certain point, this puts a cap on your ability to achieve.

Now that we understood the impact this has on results, how do you ensure that your team can be effective, work with efficient processes that provide the right amount of challenge, and obtain top-quality results?