Why it is essential to have a purpose in life!

In my last article, I shared my framework on ‘How to create a psychologically safe working environment’. The importance of Leading with Purpose is one of the components of this framework. I have been asked by many readers to expand on this. However, I strongly believe that one must first define their purpose in life before they can lead with purpose. In this article I share my thoughts on what a life of purpose is and why it is essential to pursue one . . . and in my next article I will share my framework on how to Lead with Purpose!

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out ‘why’. – Mark Twain

You do not have much say or do on the day you are born, but the day you find out why, the ‘day’ you discover your calling - your life purpose - is all on you. This is one of those tasks you cannot delegate! You need to find and define your ‘why’ in life . . . only then you will be able to identify your purpose in life.

So, what is a life purpose and why it is so important to have a purpose in life?

Purpose can be explained in many ways, but simply put, your purpose is what makes you happy! It is what you love to do, what excites you and makes you tick; the essence of who you really are! It is your compass which provides direction and meaning in your life.  

Your purpose is unique, specific, and personal; it springs from your identity and  will influence your behavior and guide your life decisions and choices; it will define your goals and explain how you chose to spend your time, your most precious asset.  It is where you get your energy from, what compels you to take a firm stand and what inspires you to keep going and stay committed in the face of adversity. It is who you cannot help being! 

It does not have to be aspirational or cause based.  No matter how you define your purpose, having a purpose in life is to me the most essential element of happiness!  

Your purpose is your brand – it is not 'what' you do but 'why' you do it (and most times 'how' you do it). The purpose you represent is what people will miss most of you if you were gone!

Is purpose in life correlated and/or linked to our job?

For most people, purpose is connected to their employment. Too many of us seek a profession that can serve as our purpose in life.

Whether you are an architect, a nurse, a CEO, a home keeper, a teacher, a musician, a chef, a tailor, or a bus driver – if every morning you are excited to start a meaningful and mainly a satisfying workday, then most likely your career is closely interwoven with your life purpose i.e., you have discovered your vocation, you have found and you live your 'why'. You are blessed!

However, in reality, purpose and occupation may not necessarily be the same thing. Research has shown that only a very small percentage of people find actual purpose in the work they do. For most people, work is simply a job, a source of income. 

For some other people, purpose resonates with family and friends, while others seek meaning in their life through serving a higher spiritual cause.

It is also important to understand that your purpose is not your education and your degrees, your experiences and for sure not your professional titles. These are merely ‘means,’ and milestones along your life journey, that might or might not get you to your life purpose.

Is our life purpose something we find? 

Many people pray to higher powers to help them find their calling – they pray for a ‘sign’ to reveal their purpose. Do we have to go through life waiting until fate delivers a higher calling to us? 

Although I believe in the power of prayer and meditation, I personally do not share this view. I believe that purpose is something you work on. I do not believe that you will have an “eureka” moment and suddenly know your purpose; rather, you must go through a discovery process, invest time and effort to articulate the purpose you seek. 

Is our life purpose a single concept?

I believe that we have many ‘mini’ purposes that are part of and/or lead to our main purpose in life, our overall reason for being. 

For me, I find purpose in my children, my spirituality/faith, my professional work, spending time with my friends, making others happy, challenging myself physically and intellectually and recently certainly I find purpose in my writing. 

Undeniably, professional work is just only one component of my life purpose and for me it is a means to influencing, empowering, and helping others, including their families and communities, to achieve their potential and live happily!

Can our life purpose change?

Your purpose may shift and change throughout your life, reflecting your evolving encounters and priorities, and that is okay! You have many lessons to learn, people to meet and experiences to live that will shape who you are. If, you are open and willing to expand your worldview, your life purpose will certainly evolve. 

I might argue that trying to contemplate and define your purpose too early in your life or career, might be counterproductive. Although identifying one, would certainly lay the foundation and ‘train’ your mind for this process. 

As I reflect on my own life and leadership journey, I can see a clear distinction between my drive/efforts to climb the corporate ladder and reach certain individual career milestones early on, and my focus/desire on making an impact and influencing my family, friends, and teammates as a leader, which came later. 

Indeed, my focus and sense of purpose has shifted and evolved over time. My sense of purpose as a student or a trainee/intern is dramatically different in many ways to what it is now. My career goals and aspirations were less oriented towards my life purpose but rather towards success. 

As an example, shortly after my wife accepted my marriage proposal, I proceeded to proudly outline to her my probable career path, that is, the positions I was targeting and the countries I or now ‘we’ were planning to relocate to, so as, to ‘tick’ my necessary career developmental boxes . . . naively thinking that I was aligning her with ‘my’ life purpose. Needless to say, I did not win the award of the most romantic (future) husband and she makes sure I never forget that!

I discovered, the hard way, one might argue, that to live happily, my view of success should align with my sense of purpose . . . I feel that writing these articles is a manifestation of where my current life/leadership purpose is heading.

So how do you discover your life purpose?

Most people are cautious and hesitant about discovering their life purpose because they fear they will discover that their life had no ‘true’ purpose thus far, and they resolve in calling this process a self-serving quest. Some people are caught in their day-to-day routine, have fallen well into their comfort zone and simply do not know how to escape nor have the energy to do so. But it is never too late . . . Discovering your life purpose does not have to be a pie-in-the-sky aspiration. 

We all have gifts and talents which for the most part have not been discovered and are hidden away. Or we use them so infrequently that they are never fully expressed and remain unappreciated. Discovering your gifts, your life purpose, your ‘why’ is not easy. It is a dynamic journey that requires energy and willpower. 

Drawing from my own life experiences I will share with you some tips on how you can perhaps start this life changing process.

First, take an honest stock of who you really are!

‘Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom!’ so says Aristotle, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness, self-appreciation, and self-reflection.

This first step is naturally the most difficult, but you must take some time to contemplate, to soul search. Have an honest reflection on your life journey and your experiences thus far. What have you learned about yourself?   

Ask yourself:

-        How do I spend my time?

-        What am I good at and what do I love to do?

-        Which daily activities excite me, and which drain the life out of me?

-        When do I feel most engaged?

-        Where do I belong, my family, my circle of friends, my community?

-        Where am I heading . . . do I like that direction?

Usually, these types of questions arise when we are at a turning point in our life, when we face a ‘fork’ on the road; when we experience a personal loss or when we live through a crisis, such as the COVID pandemic, which has inevitably restricted our movement but given us a rare opportunity to appreciate what we have and what we take for granted.

Second, explore your interests and passions!

Discover your skills and talents and exploit them. These are where you find peace and relaxation after finishing an exhausting 12-hour workday. These are why you wake up at 6am on a weekend . . . to pursue/practice them. For me, unless it is an early golf tee-off time, I will only get up to read and write. 

For some others it is to draw/paint or to play/compose music or to cook/try new recipes or to coach their kids’ soccer team . . . whatever ticks you and gives you energy, motivation, and inspiration. Seize those, take them more seriously, develop and exploit them for your own sake.

Third, surround yourself with positive people!

People who love you and care about you. People who share the same values as you and who motivate you. People who are on similar soul-searching paths, who understand your struggles and fuel your passions and skills. People who will tell you not only what you would like to hear but will also give you constructive feedback.

For me, my wife and my kids are my biggest critics. Although I can take my kids’ comments with a pinch of salt, it has taken me some time to accept my wife’s ‘practical’ feedback, which fortunately - or unfortunately - is brutally sincere and candid. Also, as friendships define me and represent an inherent and essential part of who I am, I value my close friends’ feedback and opinion . . . sometimes too much but they do keep me honest and provide strong guardrails to preserve my authenticity and never forget my roots.

Last, write down your life purpose statement!

There is something very powerful when you actually write down your purpose in life on a piece of paper. Somehow, it becomes more real and tangible. I cannot explain it . . . as if you own it more, as if you make a promise to yourself that you are forced to keep. It is proven though, that finding the motivation to pursue your goals or, in this case your life purpose, and channeling it into reality, is easier when you explicitly articulate what you want to achieve!

It is true, this process would essentially be stressful because you are admitting your life purpose (wow!), but at the same time it is liberating. In some way, this provides a conclusion to your soul-searching process.  But what if you are wrong . . . what if you did not get it right?

It doesn’t matter, as we grow and step out of our comfort zone, our life purpose evolves and in order to continue this eternal growth and have a rewarding and fulfilling life, we go back to the first step, reframe and rewrite our 'life questions' over and over again and adjust our life purpose statement. When we answer these, new questions and new possibilities will emerge!

My constantly evolving life purpose statement has always been closely connected with people, as anticipated by those who know me well, and currently reads: “To inspire and empower my children and others to achieve their potential, be happy and have fun along the way”!

In conclusion . . .

Finding your ‘why’, discovering who you really are and living your life with purpose, will inspire you but most importantly will bring you peace and happiness. It will profoundly change your life and one way or another, you will leave your legacy on this earth. You owe it to yourself and to the people around you. Recognize your own gifts/talents and perhaps use these to bring joy in other people’s lives and . . . as cliché as it may sound, why not . . . to make the world a better place.

Finally, knowing how important it is to find your life purpose, you must encourage your children to start this thinking process early on. Remember, one good day your once amicable children will become teenagers and will no longer wish to follow the ‘roadmap’ you have imagined for them. They will certainly want to carve their own path. Shocking right?!

So, while you can, cultivate their hobbies and interests.  Help them discover their strengths, their gifts, and their talents. Their talents are clear indicators of what they will ultimately be passionate about. Encourage them to develop their talents into skills . . . and keep pushing them to experience new things and get out of their comfort zone.  There is no better feeling for us parents to see our children fulfill every bit of their unique purpose in life.

Discovering your purpose in life - and keep redefining it - is a remarkable, lifelong journey. Leverage your gifts to achieve your greatness and enjoy the ride!