Why EQ Matters in Sales?

The Tommy Boy Moment

We’ve all had that Tommy Boy moment. Where something happens and suddenly your prospect is interested. Instead of handling it like a professional, we get too excited. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, think back.?

I had a moment like that back in the day, where on my first call someone readily agreed. Instead of being as cool as a cucumber, I said “Really?”. Not exactly inspiring confidence. It all worked out in the end. Early in your career, it is easy to get lost in the moment.

Or, it’s been a rough day filled with rejection. Call after call and either no one is picking up or it’s been one hang up after another. The energy sticks, but then someone picks up. You are caught off guard and are still feeling the negative energy.?

Or, Are you bringing enough enthusiasm to the conversation? The prospect may not get enthusiastic about your solution unless you are. The energy you bring to your outreach matters. Not only in your phone outreach but even more so in video, in presentations, etc.

How do you manage your emotions? And, What is that called? It’s called EQ (Emotional Quotient) or EI (Emotional Intelligence).?

From Wikipedia , “Emotional intelligence (EI), emotional leadership (EL), emotional quotient (EQ) and emotional intelligence quotient (EIQ), is the capability of individuals to recognize their own emotions and those of others, discern between different feelings and label them appropriately, use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior, and manage and/or adjust emotions to adapt to environments or achieve one’s goal(s).”

Self-Awareness / Self-Regulation

Let’s dive into self-awareness. Step one is recognizing the emotion. Whether it’s excitement, anger, frustration, or an energy drain. You need to determine how to not let it impact the energy you bring to your prospect. This is especially difficult if you are new to sales or unpracticed.?

When you feel an emotion coming on, excitement, anger, frustration, or something else. Whatever emotion it is you need to identify and label it to move past it. When you are live on the phone, this needs to happen quickly so that you can adapt and self-regulate.

Here are a couple of strategies for self-regulation:

1. Count to 3 and let the emotion fade to the background and listen.
2. Seek to understand. Mirror the last three words as a question. This leaves empty space giving yourself a moment to feel, label, and let go of the emotion. It also gives the other person a moment to expand on what they are saying.
3. Pause and separate yourself from the emotion. This is where you mentally prepare to set it aside. Acknowledge the emotion, label, and visualize the emotion. Imagine setting it away from you.

At the end of the day, you need to determine what will work next for you. Just keep in mind, there are two steps.

• ?Self-Awareness – Being aware of the emotion
• Self-Regulation – Regulating the emotion and adapting

As part of public speaking training, I had the opportunity to develop this skill while in front of a class. Each student got up to discuss a topic and had to prepare to be heckled. You were assigned to heckle a few people the night before. We all wrote down things we could heckle our fellow learners about.?

When it was my turn, I could feel my face turning red. I could feel tears start to rise. With each comment, it got easier. One of the most difficult trainings I’ve ever done. Actually the first time I had the opportunity for this training, I bailed. The second time, I went all in. At the end of the day it was about overcoming Now, I find that if it’s truly a terrible thing I’m reacting too, the calmer I am. This ability to control your emotions will serve you well.

Imagine a presentation in front of a large group for that next level role or a sales presentation. You practiced your presentation, you are ready. Then it comes down to Q&A. They ask you something unexpected. Something that makes you panic internally.

Consider the following:

• Your emotion
• Facial expression
• Eye Contact
• The volume of your voice
• The tone of your voice
• Posture and body movement

Whether you or in a room or on a zoom, if they can see you all of this matters when you are in sales.

If your volume increases you can appear defensive. If you are quick to answer you may appear hasty. This is all controllable. You need to appear as neutral as possible.?

For me, that starts with a smile. I’ve seen it on video – it’s not my normal smile. It’s a little different. Unless you knew me well you couldn’t tell. But, it’s there.

What do you do? Mentally prepare.?

It’s your poker face. Do you already have a poker face??

If you need time, as mentioned above you can pause, mirror, or set it aside. But, in the meantime what is the expression you are wearing? Panic is not a good look. Being thoughtful, that’s good.

Everyone on the planet needs a poker face. Not only salespeople.?

Here is activity to try to gain confidence and practice. From my first formal sales training with Dale Carnegie.

Conclusion

Being aware of your emotions, managing them, and overcoming them is one part. The next is recognizing the emotions of others.

You can practice with your friends, peers, coach, or leader. I recommend adding as part of role-playing.?

The more confident you become in handling your emotions, the easier it will be. Just as confidence in your product and mastery of your skill will help. At least, until that moment the unexpected happens. Someone says something completely unforeseen. What will you do? Will your poker face be ready.

The more confidence and knowledge you gain, the easier it will be to adapt.?

The next Newsletter will be about Reading the Zoom.

Next up on Sales & Leadership with Heart - Jen Ferguson live on LinkedIn:

For women in sales, sometimes the need to manage your emotions presents in other ways. Idea high-jacking in meetings, the unexpected comment, etc. Joining me on Friday at 1pm is Stacey Vanek Smith to talk about her book, Machiavelli for Women, Defend Your Worth, Grow Your Ambition, and Win the Workplace .

EVENT LINK

Previous Newsletter

Mindset for Sales: How Do You Stay off the Emotional Roller Coaster?