Why Embracing Your Limits Can Lead to Real Success and Peace
Our society is interesting. When we talk about the goals we have in life, we talk about pushing through our perceived limitations to get where we want to be. Every day we must be bigger, better, faster, and stronger (word to Daft Punk). When I went to the gym, my goal was to be stronger than I was yesterday. When I do yoga, I'm jealous because I'm not as flexible as the teacher, yet the goal is to get to that level of skill. All the while, we never appreciate what we can't do. Everything we can't do is automatically seen as a weakness. In this world of always striving for better, we hardly ever take the time to make peace with what we are. We are inclined to highlight our strengths and hide our weaknesses.
This is not to say to not reach for goals beyond ourselves. One of the reasons we do this is because it surprises us as to what we can do. We are excited about these types of accomplishments. We must also remind ourselves that success is not guaranteed. Just as we learned how great we can be with determination and willpower, we must also remember that we have limitations when we fail. These limitations aren't a bad thing. Just a fact of life.
Superhero Material
When I was young, I always wanted to be a superhero when I grew up. I saw myself with superpowers, flying through the sky and fighting bad guys. I thought about my costume and everything. Truth be told, I'm not a superhero. I have no superpowers. I don't even know how to fight. There's no amount of determination for me to all of a sudden be a crime fighter like Superman. I grew up to be just a guy working in a marketing department It might be a silly example, but this limitation has helped me to realize that I don't need powers to help people.
Let's get real. I'm not the greatest talker. My speech could be better when it comes to conversations and talking with others. I think one would easily label me an introvert. There are two options for me. I can work super hard to become better at talking, probably stressing myself by being frustrated by every interaction in which I need to speak. The alternative is to accept this limitation and talk anyway, not being attached to the outcome of the conversation. I know I'm not the best wordsmith when it comes to talking. I'm not the most extroverted, and that's okay. I don't need to be. The grit needed to forever improve my speech doesn't enthrall me.
Adrienne!!!!
If you are a fan of the Rocky movie series, you know that in the first one, Rocky Balboa is an underdog fighter, with more heart than skill. We see him as someone who is underappreciated for his fighting skills and overmatched when it comes to fighting the likes of Apollo Creed. As the series progresses, we see Rocky become a winner, but as he gets older he starts to fight younger competitors. He starts to realize with age, he's not able to beat opponents with pure brawn and strength.
By Rocky 6, we meet a fighter who is well past his prime and he knows it. In this movie, we see a pretty enlightened Rocky who accepts his physical limitations and finds a way to succeed. One can see the Rocky series as a movie about boxing, but we also get a glimpse into the inner conflict Rocky goes through throughout the evolution of his boxing career. From underdog to top of the world to underdog yet again, Rocky proves to us that he can succeed not despite his limitations, but because of it.
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Knowing When to Quit
It's very weird to say in this society, but sometimes we need to know when to quit. Persistence is the name of the game in our culture, but that same persistence leads to stress, anxiety, and depression if we are not able to meet the expectations we set for ourselves. You've texted her seven times and she hasn't responded. Maybe she's just not that into you, bro. I love music, but I've never studied music. My knowledge of music is very basic and learning how to play the piano is difficult for me every time I try to learn. Maybe it just isn't for me. Why do we find fault in this? Why do we call this giving up?
I Want to Be Like Mike
Since we're talking about sports, let's talk about Michael Jordan. After leading the Chicago Bulls to three consecutive NBA Finals, Jordan shocked the world by announcing his retirement. One could say that his decision to quit had little to do with basketball, but with having the ability to step away from the game (even if temporary) after the news of his father's tragic death. In regards to his retirement, Jordan said, "I've always stressed to people that when I lose the sense of motivation and the sense to prove something as a basketball player, it's time for me to move away from the game."
It takes a large amount of awareness and courage to step away from a game that you love especially when you are the best at what you do. The decision reflects Jordan's ability to be able to step back, reflect, and recharge. One would say this could be a sign of defeat, but sometimes we need a break to focus on pressing issues with knowledge that we can always go back. As you may know, Jordan returned to the Bulls and led them to three more championships, solidifying his status as one of the best (if not the best) basketball players ever.
Conclusion
As much as we try, we can't put our attention into everything. I've found it better to be a specialist than it is to be a jack of all trades. Trying to do everything becomes chaotic, but doing one thing well creates mastery. We need limitations to know what those focus points are. We have the power to choose our activities, and the "no's" in life create the boundaries to the path that we walk on.