Why Embracing Rejection is a Good Idea

Rejection sucks. Let’s get that out of the way.?

In the moment of rejection, it can feel as if you’re two feet tall, questioning everything. It doesn’t matter if you’re asking out the person across the bar or pitching a potential client––the feeling is the same.

But it’s not all bad. As the dust settles and you do your proverbial walk of shame, you’re building callous and skills geared toward helping you later in life.

First, let’s look at why we avoid rejection in the first place.

Rejection can cause a physiological response, often induced by past trauma, abandonment, or a low sense of self-esteem. The fear of rejection leads us away from experiencing these feelings. However, it is probably doing more harm than good to us long-term because the result is inaction.

Once we acknowledge the feelings of rejection and their source, we are one step closer to confronting the beast that is our mind.

Why it’s so important to fight the fear of rejection

For most people fear = inaction, and inaction can significantly impact the trajectory of your life. From your career to interpersonal relationships–not going after what could be is more troublesome in the long run.

It’s better to put yourself out there and know the outcome rather than live a life of ‘what ifs.’

Talk to anyone in your life about a time they ‘went for it’ and hear what they have to say back. Even if the deck wasn’t shuffled in their favor, they will applaud the lesson given to them through rejection.

And if you need more proof, here are some notable people who faced rejection:

• Michael Jordan was cut from his basketball team in 9th grade
• Steve Jobs was kicked out of Apple
• Oprah was told she was unfit for television

And the list goes on.

So what do you do??

The short answer: get over it.

But that’s reductionist, so let’s explore how you can get over rejection. It starts with accepting that rejection will be part of your journey toward your goals and using the moments of rejection as a learning tool. Accept and understand the feelings rejection makes you feel. Dive into their source, and approach every interaction as one of learning.

You need to build your rejection callous, which can only be done by facing it repeatedly. As you get rejected, that pit in your stomach doesn’t ever fully go away, but you can make it not hang around as long.

Where do you start?

Start small if asking for a promotion or asking someone out on a date is too much to handle. Noah Kagan, the founder of AppSumo, advises people to ask for 10% off their next coffee. No explanation, ask if you can have 10% off your coffee.?

This might seem wild, but in fact, it’s genius. It’s a low-stakes ask helping you build up your rejection callous. If you start small and get used to facing rejection, it will prepare you for bigger, bolder asks in your life.?

Until next week,

Jordan

If you’re on Twitter, let’s connect. I’d love to hear about your journey. Follow me at?@jordanscheltgen.