Why Don't You Drop By !

Managers in many (if not most) organizations, as part of a well-documented appraisal process, follow the in/famous bell curve to assign performance ratings to their direct reports. What is rarely discussed or even acknowledged is – the very employees who spend a lifetime bouncing around on the bell curve, mentally categorize their managers in a similar manner (Yes, The Employee Strikes Back !). Since this is a largely informal process, there are rarely more than 3 categories – Very bad / bad (left side of the curve), Average (majority) and Good / Very good (extreme right of the curve).

Now you’re definitely wondering where I’m going with this aren’t you ! Well, during my career, my experience with my managers has been no different from the three categories mentioned above.

I am sharing here my experience with one of my best managers (easily towards the extreme right of the curve) in one of my earlier roles. For the sake of this discussion, let’s call him Sandeep (obviously not his real name) – an individual blessed with not just a formidable IQ but a high EQ as well – a real killer app combination !

Sandeep joined my then organization many years ago in the same location where I was based. We sat in different offices, but these were very close to each other – a comfortable 5–10-minute walk. At first, we didn’t meet or interact very often. One day, he called me and simply said “Why don’t you drop by when you have the time today”. I wondered what the agenda for the discussion was and asked him whether he wanted to discuss or review anything specific. To which he merely repeated his earlier request – “Just drop by sometime today”.

So, I went over to meet him that day with not a little uncertainty in my mind – limited interaction with him, hence no idea what to expect. When we met, he started off asking me about my background – career, family members etc. We discovered a couple of common acquaintances and discussed those. He enquired about my children, how old they were, their school etc. And so, this discussion went on. I assumed that he would eventually come to the point and talk about the project that I was working on. Strangely enough, an hour went by, and we spoke only about “non-work” related stuff. Then, he requested to be excused as he had another meeting and I was left wondering whether this was the agenda all along or if I had taken up too much time with irrelevant talk!

Over the next few months, weeks and indeed years, while we got to know each other well, this pattern repeated itself every now and then. Sandeep would request me to drop by and we would have this informal chat. I didn’t realize it then but there was a process at work here – the building of a strong bond of trust between two individuals.

We got to know each other so well that we could predict easily how the other would react in a given situation. Sandeep would unerringly know my strengths and leverage them seamlessly. He would equally smoothly prise me out of my comfort zone to address my areas of improvement. I realized during these meetings that this was an individual who was gifted with not a formidable IQ but a high EQ as well!

There were of course times, when I made mistakes or fell short in delivery on a particular assignment. Sandeep would directly point out the specific issue – straight as an arrow without mincing words yet in a respectful manner. To my surprise, I found that on not a single occasion did I feel aggrieved or as if I had been done an injustice. I would feel only regret and guilt that I had belied the trust of the person who believed in me and stood up for me on every possible occasion.

What word does one assign such a feeling? Loyalty, trust, support…. whatever…. but any employee will go not one but several extra miles for such a manager.

And the foundation for this rock-solid trust was laid during those “drop by sometime today” meetings. You can read any management or leadership tome, but some things are built only through basic human decency and genuine interest in the well-being of another human being!

Note :? You may well ask – why did I not name and acknowledge the concerned individual ? This post is not about the two individuals being discussed. It is about the behaviour exhibited by one individual and the impact that it had on the other !