Why don't Indian fathers in Sweden take more paternity leave?

In many Western countries, the concept of parental leave is well-established. Both parents are encouraged to take time off from work to care for their newborn or adopted children, promoting equal responsibility in child-rearing. However, for many Indians living abroad, especially in countries like Sweden, the idea of taking long parental leave is still new and often comes with several challenges.

Traditional Indian Family Dynamics

Indian families have traditionally operated in a different way compared to families in Western countries. In India, it’s common for extended families to live together or nearby. This includes parents, children, and even grandparents living under one roof or in close proximity. As a result, family members are deeply involved in each other’s lives, helping with child-rearing and household responsibilities.

For example, my own father worked 6,7 days a week, while my mother took care of the three of us children and managed all household chores. Even though my mother sometimes worked outside the home, she still managed everything at home. It was rare to see my father in the kitchen, and to be honest, I never really wanted to eat anything he cooked! This was just how things worked in our family, and it’s similar in many other Indian households.

When Indians move abroad, they often try to maintain this close-knit family structure, even though they may be far away from their extended families. When they have children, many invite their parents or in-laws to stay with them for months or even years to help care for the grandchildren. This makes the need for long parental leave less pressing since there is already a strong support system in place.

Challenges with Parental Leave for Indians Abroad

There are several reasons why many Indians living in countries like Sweden might not take full advantage of parental leave.

1. Work Permits and Visa Issues: Most Indians who move abroad for work are on temporary work permits or visas. Often, the man is the primary visa holder, and his job supports the family financially. If he takes extended parental leave, it could significantly reduce the family’s income, especially if the spouse is not working. Many Indian households depend on a single income, and cutting it in half can create financial strain. This is one of the biggest reasons why many Indian men choose to take only the minimum parental leave and return to work as soon as possible.
2. Cultural Expectations: Indian culture places a strong emphasis on family unity and interdependence. Unlike in Western cultures, where individual independence is highly valued, Indian families often work together to support one another. In many cases, grandparents, aunts, and uncles play a key role in raising children, lessening the burden on new parents.
3. Gender Roles: In many Indian households, traditional gender roles still play a significant role. As I mentioned earlier, it was uncommon for my father to help with household chores, and this is still the case in many Indian families. Although gender roles are changing slowly, many Indian men still feel pressure to prioritize their careers over household responsibilities, including child-rearing.
4. Financial Considerations: As I mentioned earlier, taking parental leave can result in a significant loss of income. In many Indian households abroad, particularly in countries where living costs are high, this loss can be a major concern. Since many Indian professionals earn good salaries abroad, taking parental leave can feel like an unnecessary financial sacrifice. With many families dependent on a single income, taking long parental leave may not be a realistic option.

Future Changes and Solutions

While there are valid reasons why many Indians do not take parental leave, there are also opportunities for improvement.

1. Better Job Opportunities for Spouses: If it becomes easier for spouses of visa holders to find jobs, this could make a big difference. If both partners are earning an income, it becomes more feasible for one partner to take a longer parental leave without worrying about financial strain. Encouraging policies that support job opportunities for spouses can help make parental leave a more viable option.
2. Easier Access to Permanent Residency and Citizenship: Many Indians living abroad on work permits face uncertainty about their future in the country. If policies are introduced that make it easier to get permanent residency (PR) or citizenship, families might feel more secure about taking time off work. The pressure to work continuously may decrease if there is more stability in their immigration status.
3. Promoting Equal Parental Responsibilities: As Indian families continue to adapt to life abroad, it’s also important to challenge traditional gender roles. Encouraging both men and women to share parenting responsibilities can help change the perception of parental leave. Men should feel comfortable taking time off to care for their children without the fear of judgment or financial repercussions.

There are many reasons why Indians living abroad might not take full parental leave, and it’s important to understand these challenges before making judgments. While parental leave is a great benefit for families, cultural, financial, and visa-related issues often play a big role in whether or not it’s a realistic option for Indian families.

If these issues are addressed, and if there is more support for job opportunities and immigration stability, we might see more Indians taking parental leave in the future. Until then, it’s crucial not to put pressure on individuals by questioning their choices. Each family’s situation is different, and what works for one may not work for another.