Why Doesn't She/He Leave?

Studies have shown that violence escalates when a victim decides to leave. Divorce and leaving does not mean the abuse will end. The decision to leave the situation means that there is more at stake for the abuser and leaving them is not an option. This is why most shelters and safe houses are not made public. 

This question that everyone asks is putting all the responsibility on the abused. But what about the person doing the abusing? Why don't we ask,

"Why won't they stop?"

Part of the problem is that those of us asking "Why doesn't she/he leave?" have no idea of the nightmare this person is living with, and the fear they are experiencing. Our lack of knowledge in the area of Domestic Abuse is evident in how we respond to the victims and the perpetrators. 

There are many risk factors that these victims face from threats, to financial alienation, to social isolation, even factors that he or she can not even imagine they are about to face. This leads to homelessness, fighting divorce with no resources, the threat of losing children or being kept from children, the emotional distress of keeping your life together, all the while, doing your best to survive (physically, emotionally and financially). 

All of this affects our communities and our society. Instead of asking, "Why doesn't she/he leave?" ask, "What can I do to help?" 

Join me on Tuesday, November 10th for "Why Don't they leave?" a blab discussion on understanding the real threat of leaving and what you can do if you know someone that wants to leave. 

Tuesday, November 10th at 8 PM EST.

Why Don't They Leave: Understanding the Real Threat of Domestic Abuse https://tinyurl.com/p7grhdw